desert raised
by DiscordianSamba
Summary: After the death of his father, Keith is left alone in the desert. But he is not fated to remain alone forever- for the winds of destiny draw those most important towards him. (companion fic to desert born, from Keith's POV)
1. blue lion

It's here! At long last, the companion fic to _desert born_ is ready to begin! This is told from Keith's POV, and will cover his time in the desert, and the people he meets there. We won't really get into his time as a paladin in this fic, but I do have a sequel planned that will cover that material. This is part of a series, so if this is your entry point, don't forget to read _desert blessing_ and _desert born_ as well!

That said, I hope everyone enjoys! Onward!

* * *

 **desert raised**

 **blue lion**

* * *

For as long as he remembered, it had been just him and his dad. Even before the desert.

And now he was gone.

It only sunk in after he'd buried him that he was well and truly alone now.

Dead. His dad was dead. He wouldn't be coming back. He wouldn't be there to greet him in the morning, or to teach him the next page in his workbook. He wouldn't be there to make him dinner, or to tuck him into bed, or to wish him goodnight.

Dead.

Sinking to the ground in front of the makeshift grave he built for his dad, Keith curled into a ball. As the sun set over the desert, the temperature began to drop, but it didn't bother him. It never had. It was different for his dad- he would grab an extra layer, always making the same bad joke whenever he did. He would complain, tell him he'd heard that joke already.

Now he wouldn't hear it ever again.

Out here in the desert, he might have been isolated. But he had never felt lonely. Why would he? His dad was always there for him, and even when he couldn't be, even when he had to leave for work, he'd always come back.

But now he was gone.

It was crushing, almost as if it were a living thing, poised to devour him. Burying his head in his knees, Keith shut his eyes tight, his small body shuddering.

He cried without actually crying.

He must have remained there for hours, because when he finally uncurled himself, the moon was high in the sky. It was bright, huge in the sky, lighting up the dark desert- a full moon. All he could think about was how he and his dad would climb up onto the roof of their shack, and he would teach him about space, about the stars in the sky and the constellations they formed.

Without thinking, he clambered up onto the roof. Standing atop it, he stared up into the night sky. It was so big, so vast, and though it had once brought him a sense of wonder for those same reasons, it all just seemed so _empty_ now.

Somewhere out there, past Mars, Jupiter, past all those familiar planets, was his mother. She had left when he was still a baby, in order to protect them. At the time, Keith had thought his mother was brave, courageous, but now... now all he wanted was to see her.

To not be alone.

His dad was gone, and his mother was so far away she might as well be too. There was no one else. He was alone.

He couldn't even leave the desert.

His father had warned him, telling him it was dangerous. Out there, beyond the desert, there were dangerous people. People who would hurt him, hate him. That was why they were out here, in the desert, where there was no one else around. Where they could leave in peace.

He knew they were out here because he was a freak.

He'd never said it out loud, knowing that it would just hurt his father if he did. He didn't think that. His dad loved him, he knew that.

But he also knew it was the truth. In the movies his father brought home, there wasn't ever anyone who looked like him. He could travel the far reaches of the Earth, and still find no one else like him.

Staring down at his clawed hands, he balled them into tiny fists, feeling his claws press against his skin. It was fine, they wouldn't pierce it. He was tough.

Tough, and alone.

Curling back in on himself, he crouched on the roof, shutting his eyes tight against the vastness of the night sky. Maybe this was all just a bad dream. Maybe tomorrow he would wake up to the smell of pancakes and burnt eggs. His dad would ruffle his hair, and take him out on his hoverbike, and they would go hunting together.

But he didn't think he'd feel this much pain if this were just a dream.

It wasn't physical. Physically, he was fine. But his heart felt like it was being ripped apart.

He was afraid, he realized. Of being alone. He'd never been alone.

 _Not alone._

Snapping his head up, Keith blinked. Someone had just spoken.

 _Not alone_ , the voice repeated. But he couldn't see anyone around- just vast, empty desert, and a vast, empty sky. Rising to his feet, he frantically searched his surroundings, heart pounding in his chest.

"Who's there!?" He demanded.

For a long moment, there was nothing but silence. Had he imagined it?

And then, reverberating through him, bone deep, came a _roar_.

He knew it. It had woken him from his nap, sent him in search of his dad. At the time, he thought it had simply been a fragment of his dream, but...

 _"She can talk?"_

 _"Don't know. Maybe you'll find out."_

The realization crashed over him like a wave, nearly knocking him off his feet. Jumping down off the roof, he took off without a second thought, into the desert, fueled by the knowledge that he needed to go. He needed to follow it.

By the time he reached the blue lion's cave, he was out of breath.

He barely stopped to catch it, instead pressing forward. His hand traced over familiar carvings as he made his way through the dark cave, pitch black in the dead of night. It didn't matter- over the years, he had come to know the paths by heart, the same as his dad.

And he could see in the dark.

He felt the sensation of water before he heard it. It was calm, peaceful- and the heavy weight that was his heart felt a little easier to bear, as if it were floating upon gentle waters. The cave walls seemed to reverberate, a steady hum passing through them that may have simply been his imagination.

No, he thought, as he drew closer, and became more sure that it wasn't just in his head. It wasn't a hum.

It was _purring_.

 _Not mine_ , it seemed to almost whisper, _but come._

He didn't understand what that meant, but he still let his feet guide him down into the blue lion's cavern. Coming to a halt on the banks of the underground river, he cast his gaze upwards, staring up at the blue lion.

Nothing had changed.

But then he heard the roar again.

And suddenly, he wasn't there, in the cavern. He was, and he wasn't.

Where he was, he didn't recognize. There were caves here too, but they were gleaming, an almost translucent blue, like they were made out of crystal. The sight was so full of wonder, that for a moment, he nearly forgot the pain in his heart.

If he were older, he surely would have questioned it. Would wonder if he had just gone crazy with grief, and had started to see things, hear things. But back then, he had been young enough that he hadn't given it a second thought. He'd just accepted it for it was.

Something rumbled behind him, the sound like a deep purr, causing him to turn on his heel. It was the blue lion, but not. It was small, though still much larger than him. It had taken on the appearance of an Earth lion- save for the fact that it was blue, and larger still than even a lion.

Probably. He'd never seen a lion, not really. There was one in the zoo, several cities over. His father had brought him a picture book about it once.

Just like that, the pain was back.

The blue lion stepped forward, lowering its head. Rubbing it against his cheek, Keith fought against the faint bubble of laughter that brewed in him, its fur tickling his chin. Reaching up without thinking, he marveled at being able to touch it, the lion's blue fur soft to the touch.

Then the lion spoke. Clearly, with words.

"You are not mine," its voice was strangely soft, for something his father had once described to him as an incredible weapon, yet somehow, it didn't surprise him at all, "-but I am here for you, as your mother was for me."

"My mother...?" Keith asked.

"She protected me. I am free because of her."

It was the story his father had told him, time and time again. How his mother had protected the blue lion. How she had made the tough choice to go back to space, so that the Galra Empire couldn't send anymore scout ships after the lion.

How she had done it to keep him safe. But now because of that, he was alone.

"I too, was alone for a long time." The lion told him, seeming to sense the flow of his thoughts, though probably anyone could guess. "My siblings, those who stood by my side for so long, have been scattered to the far corners of the universe. I have not seen them in many centuries."

"Siblings?" Keith asked. "There are other lions?"

"Yes." The blue lion told him. "Four, beside myself."

"Aren't you lonely?" Keith asked. "Being by yourself."

"Yes," the blue lion merely replied, "-for a long time, I was quite lonely."

He frowned, staring up at the lion. "What changed?"

The lion's expression did not change, but he swore that it smiled, almost seeming fond. Lifting its head, Keith watched as their surroundings shimmered, seeming once more to transform back into the familiar cavern. His ears pricked, picking up on the sound of voices, and suddenly, he realized that he was high above the cavern, looking down.

Strangely, he wasn't afraid.

There was his father. _Alive_ \- but he barely had time to let his own grief take hold of him, because his father wasn't alone.

There was a woman with him.

A woman with purple skin, and deep violet markings on her cheeks. He knew at once, though he had never seen a picture of her before, that this was his mother.

In her arms, she gently carried a bundle. It took him a moment to realize that bundle was _him_ \- still pale and human, and _tiny_ \- tinier than he could even remember being. His heart stung at the thought, recalling the way his father would tease him- if Galra could grow to be so big, then why was he so small.

He'd puff out his cheeks, and pretend to be mad. Of course he was small! He was still growing! It wasn't his fault that his father was a giant!

But he was never actually mad. Not at his father. Never.

The image flickered, leaving him back on the ground, alone in the empty cavern. No, not alone- turning on his heel, he gazed up at the blue lion, now mighty and towering once more.

When his parents had come, they had taken away a bit of the blue lion's loneliness. It didn't replace the yearning it felt for its family, but it had created something new in its place.

That was what the blue lion was trying to tell him.

Probably.

Crossing the underground river, Keith slowly approached the lion. He wondered if he could talk it into dropping its barrier, allowing him in. Maybe he could go and search the universe for his mother.

But he wasn't the one the blue lion was waiting for. It had said as much. He wasn't its pilot. And even if he tried to look, he didn't know where to _start_. The universe was vast- vaster than any desert.

What if he just got captured by bad Galra? He didn't want to become a part of the Galra Empire, that was for sure. _Never_.

Maybe he wasn't a hero, like in his picture books, but he definitely wasn't a bad guy. His father had said so. His mom wasn't bad, and he wasn't bad.

Sitting down, Keith leaned his back against the blue lion's barrier. It stayed solid this time, serving as a support. Drawing up his knees, he rested his arms on them, and his chin on his arms.

Even if he wasn't totally alone, his heart still hurt. His dad was gone, and he didn't know what to do. He was scared, he realized- he'd never been alone before, not like this.

What would he do about food? The cans that his dad had stocked up on would only last for so long, and it wasn't like he could just go into town to buy more. He knew how to hunt, but he'd never been allowed to touch anything in the kitchen, so it wasn't like he knew how to cook.

Water... water would probably be okay. He'd gone with his father countless times to get it, always coming here, to the blue lion's cavern. And he didn't need that much to begin with.

He shut his eyes. None of the heroes of his picture books had ever been left alone like this. They'd all had families, happy and smiling and human. Children his age weren't supposed to be alone like this- even in his isolation, he knew that much.

He didn't know what to do.

In the back of his head, the blue lion purred, reassuring, calm. She would show him, she promised. She would show him, but it was okay to be afraid.

It was okay to be sad. Lonely.

But it would be okay.

It would be okay.

Keith desperately wanted to believe that.

* * *

In the first few weeks, Keith made sure to visit the blue lion as often as he could. He'd never been prone to loneliness before, even when his father was forced to leave him on his own for a few days for work, but now he found himself easily succumbing to it.

Paying visits to the blue lion helped.

At times, the blue lion would speak to him, show him images of far distant worlds. The crystal cave she had shown him before had been the favorite spot of her chosen paladin, an alien by the name of Blaytz.

When he asked what had happened to him, the blue lion merely went quiet. But he could figure it out from that.

With the feeling of loss still so raw in his chest, there was no way he couldn't.

At times, the blue lion would say nothing, show him nothing. She would simply sit there, still as ever, her barrier firmly in place. During such times, Keith would talk to her. There wasn't that much to talk about, not really- just day to day tasks to ensure his own survival. But sometimes there were good things too.

Like the night he saw the shooting stars, or the morning where he found a place to spy on the Galaxy Garrison in the distance. For a brief time, he had contemplated approaching them for help- after all, his father had worked for them, so maybe they would understand.

But in all their years out here, his father hadn't consulted with the Garrison once, so he quickly shelved the idea. Maybe his dad knew something he didn't. Maybe there were bad people in the Garrison too.

He didn't spy on the Garrison often. There wasn't much to see from his little perch in the desert, and he didn't want to risk getting any closer. But sometimes he would peek over the ridge, wondering.

His father had been a pilot. He'd always been filled with amazing stories about space, ones that still hurt to think about. He'd wanted to do that too- to go up into space, to explore the stars. Maybe it was something in his blood, calling him up there, to where he belonged- because he sure as heck didn't belong _here_ , where he had to live in hiding.

Even if he was part human.

Fat lot of good it did him when he didn't look it.

Sometimes the blue lion would regal him with stories about space of her own.

Not many. It had been ten thousand years, so likely much had changed. The blue lion listened gravely to what little he knew about space- deep space, beyond the boundaries of their own solar system. Everything he knew, his father had told him, and everything his father knew, his mother had told him.

But the blue lion told him about her paladin's planet, _Nalquod_. About its vast oceans and great crystal caves, and the mighty creatures that lived there, some even bigger than the blue lion herself. Keith hung on every word, fascinated.

She told him about a planet called _Altea_ , too, but did so in mourning. It was gone, she had told him, with some hesitance. Taken in retribution.

For Daibazaal.

The home planet of the Galra. Gone, now.

She told him a little about Daibazaal too, but not much. How it had been rocky, covered in red dirt. He had asked her if it was like Mars, and she had asked him what _Mars_ was.

So he told her.

His father had taught him so much about the planets in their own system. Mars he'd spoken about a lot- the Galaxy Garrison was building a research colony there. In a few months, it would be complete- or maybe it already was. In his need to stay alive, to not let himself drown in despair over the loss of his father, he'd kind of lost track of time.

The blue lion had not, and able to sense the cycle of the sun even from far down in her cavern. He dug out his father's calendar after that, keeping track of the days.

He would ask about the blue lion's pilot- her _paladin_ , she had informed him. Not the old one, whose loss still pained her, ten thousand years later, but the new one. The one she was waiting for.

"I do not know, child." She would say. "Only that they are out there, and that one day, they will come to me."

It sounded vague, but he wasn't about to question a ten thousand year old robot lion. Just being able to speak with something the blue lion was amazing enough.

He had asked her why she could speak to him one day. At first, she had been silent, but finally, she had told him it was because he possessed a gift. She had tried to explain it to him, but he didn't really understand.

She told him it was something he should take pride in. That, he believed. And whatever the reason, he was grateful.

It didn't get rid of the pain, but it did make him a little less lonely.

* * *

His eighth birthday was celebrated alone, hunkered underneath his bed.

He wasn't afraid of much, but the ferocious late season thunderstorm that swept through the desert that day was enough to send him into full retreat. When it had first started getting bad, he had grabbed his pillow and crawled underneath the bed, determined to wait it out there.

He probably wouldn't have gotten through it without the blue lion's low, reassuring rumble. He fell asleep to the sound of it, and once he woke, the storm had passed.

He waited until the skies had fully cleared until he chanced making his way to the blue lion's cavern. The underground river's current had grown powerful because of the storm, so he took a flying leap over it, rather than chance crossing it. He was curious where it let out, but not that curious.

Making his way to the blue lion, he set down his bag, leaning back against her barrier. "It was my birthday yesterday."

The blue lion gave a low rumble, as if wishing him a happy birthday, and Keith closed his eyes. She wasn't talking today, he guessed. Sometimes she didn't. That was okay.

So instead, he just sat there, pulling a book from his bag. Nearly a year had passed since his dad had died, and though he was getting used to living alone, that proved to be its own challenge. Now that he had more free time, he came to the quick realization that he was getting bored and was rapidly running out of things to do.

This was the last book that he hadn't read before. His father had bought him a bunch for his seventh birthday- he'd wrapped each book individually, and then had wrapped the box they had come in. He'd complained about it, but he'd had fun tearing apart the colorful wrapping paper.

He had been spreading them out, but this was the last one.

He'd already filled up every page in his workbooks, too. There were some movies, in a box underneath the couch, but his dad had left his laptop at the Garrison, so he had no way to watch them. And he'd seen them all already anyways.

Maybe the desert elements wouldn't kill him, but boredom _would_. Or at least, that was what it felt like. Hunting was important, but it didn't take up all of his time, especially now that he had gotten into a routine, built up some reserves.

He'd gotten used to eating raw meat by now. It hadn't tasted bad the first time, like he thought it would, even if the texture had taken a bit of getting used to, and it definitely hadn't made him sick. Maybe it was because he was part alien, but frankly, he was grateful. He didn't even know how to use the stove, even if he wanted to.

Accidentally burning down the shack sounded both very bad and very possible.

He was a decent hunter. Even better, once he learned to tune into his own instincts. His father would probably be mad that he was touching a knife, but he'd just said that he couldn't touch any of the _kitchen_ knives. He hadn't said anything about his mother's.

Setting down his book, he marked his place, pulling out said knife. He always brought it with him whenever he went this far out into the desert, just in case. It had taken him a bit to get the hang of it, but now that he had, he could use it with ease.

Maybe he could train with it?

Hunting was one thing, but combat... he didn't know how to protect himself, not really. His dad had always been there for that.

Tracing a clawed finger over the glowing symbol on the hilt, Keith frowned. According his father, this was a ceremonial knife, that was important to his mother's people. Not the Galra, but the rebels she worked with.

The good guys.

His father had never told him their name, but he'd impressed on Keith that if any Galra came to this planet, that he shouldn't go with them unless they carried a blade with this exact symbol. He had accepted what he had said wholeheartedly, knowing that his father wouldn't lie to him.

Any other Galra were dangerous, his father had told him.

He'd said it with pain in his eyes. He didn't like telling him stuff like that, he realized now. Turning the knife over in his hands, Keith chewed on his lip. He wondered if they would come back- the Galra.

Brow furrowing, Keith stared at his reflection, cast on the blade of the knife. Reaching a clawed hand up, he pulled at the corner of one of his eyes. He didn't have pupils like his dad, or even like his mom had, but he'd used to, once. He could still sort of remember that.

Though truthfully, he didn't remember much about being human. He barely even remembered the sickness that had lead to his transformation. His dad didn't like to talk about it much, so he never asked.

Dropping his hand, Keith leaned his head back, staring up at the blue lion as much as he could. What would he do if the Galra _did_ come back? Not his mom's friends, but the bad guys, the Galra Empire- the ones who wanted to take the blue lion.

He needed to protect it.

Like his mother had. Like his father had.

Rising to his feet, his mother's knife held tight in one hand, he rested a hand against the blue lion's barrier. Even if he said that, what could he do? He was just a kid.

Still...

Gazing up at the blue lion, Keith's brow furrowed. He didn't like the idea of the blue lion being taken away. He didn't understand all of the details, but the Galra Empire were the bad guys- and that was enough for him to know that if they got their hands on her, that they would use her to do bad things.

Things she didn't want to do.

He didn't want that.

But he also didn't want her taken away at all. Right now, the blue lion was all he had. He'd give her up if her pilot came, but he wouldn't hand her over to anyone else.

Even if he _was_ just a kid.

Holding up his mother's knife, he stared down at it. He didn't know what he could do, but he could at least _try_.

* * *

With the goal of protecting the blue lion, suddenly, Keith's days got a lot busier.

For the first time since his father's death, he braved the caves that the scout ships were hidden in. Clambering into the one that was mostly intact, he looked it over. His dad had told him once that it couldn't fly, and that they had stripped it of any tracking equipment, but otherwise it still seemed to work.

He stumbled onto the radio by accident.

(If pressed, he wouldn't admit it had nearly given him a heart attack. That he'd yelped.)

It couldn't transmit, only listen. So Keith did, curling up in the pilot's seat and listening for hours. He barely understood a word of it, though it tugged at some deeper memory. If he tried to concentrate, he could just barely recall it- the sound of his mother's voice, soft, as if she were singing a lullaby.

She had sung to him in Galran.

He had smiled a little at the thought. His dad had always told him that his mother loved him, and that she hadn't wanted to leave. He believed it. If she knew he had died... she would come for him, for sure.

He wanted to believe that.

He started to train with his mother's knife- _his_ knife, now. He didn't know what he was doing, not at first. Using it to hunt and using it to _fight_ were two completely different things.

"I don't think I'm doing this right."

He was collapsed in frustration on the ground of the blue lion's cavern, staring up at her. "You got any ideas?"

The blue lion let out a low rumble, and he sat straight up, the air around them seeming to change. She was going to show him something.

He immediately tensed at the sight. He didn't have to be told that the two figures he could see in the blue lion's cavern were both Galra- not when they looked like him.

The armor they wore sent a chill up spine. _Imperial scouts_ , the blue lion informed him. It dawned on him them that these were the second group of scouts, the ones sent to Earth after his mother.

They were doing something with the lion, though he couldn't tell what. Trying to break through her barrier, maybe.

His mother arrived, signaled by her knife. She wore armor too, the same kind that the scouts wore- but on her, it didn't look menacing. She tore into the pair of scouts, retrieving her knife and slicing one of the guns they tried use in half, rendering it useless.

She was amazing.

He watched with wide eyes, his mouth slightly agape. His dad had always told him that his mother was a hero, and he'd always believed it.

But he'd never _seen_ it.

He was now.

"Could I do that?" Keith asked, once the blue lion had released the memory, leaving them once more alone in her cavern.

The blue lion merely rumbled in assent, that yes, he could. With time- and training. Huffing, Keith frowned. That was the problem- he didn't even know where to _start_.

 _Patience, child._ The blue lion rumbled, as if sensing his thoughts. He wouldn't be in the least bit surprised if she actually could. _I will guide you._

Perking up at that, Keith turned to look back at the lion. "Really?"

The lion purred in response, and he felt his mouth twitch into a faint smile in response. He didn't fight the urge to join her, a low purr bubbling up deep in his own chest.

Ideally, he might never need to use his knife in that way. But he'd never imagined his dad could die, either.

It wouldn't hurt to be prepared.

* * *

Once, just once, did the blue lion show him the other lions.

At the sight of the red lion, Keith felt something in him stir. He didn't know why, and instead of asking, he just kept it to himself.

He got a feeling the blue lion had noticed anyways.

* * *

His dad had once described time as moving slower in the desert.

Maybe that was true, but for Keith, time moved quickly. His ninth birthday seemed to pass in the blink of an eye- going by so quickly, that he didn't really have time to dwell just how long he had been out here on his own. He still kept track of time, but between hunting, training, and just plain surviving, suddenly, the days began to go by before he knew it. He didn't have any time to worry about boredom.

He grew, and got too big for his clothes. He made do with his father's clothes, cutting off sleeves and pant legs to make them fit him a little better. He kept his old clothes- maybe he could use them for something, though he didn't know what.

Shoes were a completely lost cause, so he just abandoned those. His feet felt better out of them anyways- they hadn't exactly been made with his claws in mind. Neither desert heat nor sharp rocks bothered hm, so he'd be fine without them.

The only time he ever slowed down was on the anniversary of his dad's death.

He would spend the day at the shack, in front of his grave. Sometimes he would talk to him, but mostly he would just sit in silence.

He really did miss him.

Sometimes, he had trouble recalling his face, his voice. He wondered why- it had only been three years. Not really that long.

There were no pictures around. Not that Keith knew of- and he had searched all of the desk drawers. There wasn't a single one- but it didn't surprise him. It wasn't like they had taken any since they had come out into the desert. If they had any, they were probably from back when he was still human.

Maybe his father hadn't wanted to keep those around.

Sometimes he wondered what his father thought of him. If he thought his appearance was a burden- if he'd really rather live in the city, with everyone else. Have a normal kid.

He tried to bury those thoughts. His dad loved him, of that he was certain. He was willing to do anything for him, to keep him safe.

He just wished he could have done the same.

It wasn't his fault. It was just an accident. He knew that. But he also knew that if he didn't look like this, if they didn't have to live out here... then he never would have gotten into that accident in the first place.

His father would still be alive, and he... he would be a normal kid. Going to school, playing with other kids... maybe he'd even have friends.

Maybe he was still a little lonely after all.

Who could blame him? His only friend was a giant mechanical cat.

Staring down at his hands, Keith wondered if there was a way to return to being human. He didn't think it was possible. But sometimes... sometimes, he would dream about it.

He always woke up feeling hollow inside.

Those days were the worst.

Clenching his fists, Keith drew in a long breath. It was okay. It had been three years. If he was going to die of loneliness, he probably would have done it already. If anything, he was getting used to being by himself. Usually, he didn't even have the time to think about it.

But he still missed his father.

He still wanted his mother.

Just like he couldn't change his face, he didn't think he could change that either.

* * *

His tenth birthday passed without any fanfare.

He dug out the last birthday card his father had given him- for his seventh birthday, right before he had died. Setting it on the table, he hummed happy birthday to himself- and then went on with his day.

Before he went to sleep, he put the card back away.

Until next year.

* * *

He was half-dozing on a rock when he heard it.

Ears twitching, Keith frowned, rolling over on his stomach. It was a sound he knew, but hadn't heard in years, and for a moment, he felt something surge in his chest.

But the hoverbike wasn't his father's.

Feeling his shoulders slump, Keith peered curiously down. Usually people didn't come out this way, so he couldn't help but wonder what they were doing out here. Though he felt a knot of apprehension in his stomach, telling him to run and hide, his curiosity won out.

After all, this was the first time he had seen another person in four years.

Peeking out from behind the rock, Keith watched as the hoverbike came to a stop. From his hiding place, he could tell that it was a young man- older than him, but younger than his father. He had black hair- and even though he couldn't really recall his face that well, he kind of reminded him of his father.

He didn't seem to notice Keith- but he didn't think he would. He was pretty well hidden. He wouldn't have napped out in the open like this if he could be found easily!

He watched as the young man stretched, taking in a deep breath. They dug in their hoverbike for something, and Keith tilted his head, watching in interest as he caught the faintest whiff of cooked meat. The man leaned back against his hoverbike, unwrapping the small package- a sandwich.

He watched as he ate, pausing to occasionally take sips from a bottle of water. Frowning, Keith carefully retreated. He didn't know what this person was doing out here, but he doubted he'd just come out all this way to have lunch.

For all he knew, he planned to take a look around- and in that case, he should probably make himself scarce. He didn't want to risk being found.

Still, his curiosity didn't fade. Judging from the shadows, maybe three hours had passed between when he retreated, and when his curiosity drew him back. It was silly, really- there was no way he was still there.

He spotted his hoverbike first.

Blinking, Keith frowned, tilting his head. Oh. Maybe he was still here.

A bit more on his guard, Keith crept forward, peeking out over the rock. Maybe he was doing some kind of survey work? Or maybe he was like his dad, and desert life was his hobby?

The wind blew, and Keith froze- he smelled blood.

Frantic, his eyes scanned the valley down below. Feeling his heart hammer in his chest, he made out the prone figure of the same young man from before, lying on the ground. Even from this distance, he could make out the small pool of red around his head.

Blood.

Suddenly, it was four years ago.

Suddenly, the man was his father.

Suddenly, Keith was on his feet, scrambling down sheer cliff face to get to him. Throwing caution to the wind, he raced towards the prone figure, only seeming to realize that it wasn't actually his father when he drew close to him.

Stooping over him, Keith pressed a hand to his neck, checking for his pulse like his father had taught him. Breathing a faint sigh of relief, he found it was still there, if not a little weak. The blood around his head had mostly dried- but his forehead felt hot, and he wasn't sweating.

Normal humans were supposed to sweat, right?

Frowning, Keith chewed on his lip. What should he do? Maybe his head wound wasn't that bad, but if he left him here, he'd still probably die from exposure. He could try to treat him here, maybe pull him into the shade...

No, that wouldn't work.

There wasn't any air conditioning in the shack- the one his father used on the hottest of days had broken a few months after his death and he didn't know how to fix it. But it was better than being out in the middle of the desert, and he knew there were bandages somewhere.

Before he could even stop to think about whether or not this was a good idea, Keith had already scooped the man into his arms. It was a bit awkward- he was plenty strong, but there was no denying the man was nearly twice his size, so no matter how strong he was, carrying him was still a challenge.

This wasn't working, he thought.

Setting him carefully back down, Keith managed to get his arms looped around his neck, moving to scoop up his legs. This... probably wasn't the best for head wounds, but it was the best he could manage. It would have to do.

He hadn't been able to save his father.

But he maybe he could save this person.

Everything else he could think about later.


	2. shiro

Back at it again, with chapter two! It's Shiro time! Just like how desert born followed Keith by age, desert raised follows Keith by the people he meets- all the way up to Lance and Hunk, who will finish off the story. Honestly my favorite parts of this chapter were just writing Keith being a dumb kid... he deserves it. He deserves the chance to be a dumb pouty baby.

Until next time~!

* * *

 **desert raised**

 **shiro**

* * *

Okay, now what?

Staring down at the stranger on his couch, Keith racked his brain for what he should do next. His father had taught him first aid, but his memory of it was a little rusty. He hadn't exactly had much cause to actually _use_ it.

But that was probably what he should do, right? First aid.

With that thought squarely in his head, he dug out the first aid kit that his father had left behind. He hadn't used it much, so it should still be fully stocked. Cracking it open, he triumphantly pulled out some bandages, and set to finding a rag he could clean the head wound with.

The man didn't stir as he set to work, carefully cleaning the wound of dried blood, then wrapping it with bandages, making sure they were tight, but not too tight. Satisfied with his work, Keith crouched in front of the couch, just taking a moment to study the man's face. It hadn't been just his imagination- he did look a little like his father.

At least, probably- he hadn't seen his father's face in years, so maybe he was just imprinting this man's face on him. He was the only human he'd seen since the death of his father, and really, since they'd come out here. He'd seem them in movies and stuff, but he didn't think that counted.

Up close, he looked younger than his father. Maybe an older teenager? A young adult? He didn't know.

At least his wound didn't look bad. Probably? Keith squinted, studying the man, like if he stared at him hard enough, he'd be able to determine if he was dying or not. There was nothing wrong with his breathing- it didn't have that raspy, hissing quality to it that his father's had after his fall.

But his father had also fallen a lot further. The stranger had just hit his head on a rock, from the look of things.

Thinking about his father hurt, but not as badly as it used to. He'd probably carry that pain for the rest of his life, but he could probably deal with it. Had been, really.

The man stirred, breaking him out of his thoughts. Holding his breath, Keith watched as his eyes slowly fluttered open. Come to think about it, he hadn't thought about what to do when he woke up at all.

The man turned his head, just enough so that he fell into his line of vision. Keith felt himself tense, watching the man's brow furrow. He was confused, disorientated, and he didn't know if that was just because of the head wound and the dehydration, or of it was because of him.

"...who?"

Dehydration. Right.

"Water," Keith quickly said, springing to his feet, "-you need water."

He was aware of how much his own voice cracked, but tried not to think on it. He didn't exactly talk much- just to the blue lion, and to his father, and not very often at that. The blue lion didn't need him to speak with words, he discovered- she could sense impressions.

Ducking into the kitchen, he grabbed the cleanest cup he could find, filling it to the brim with water. Carefully making his way back to the couch, he thrust it at the man's face, leaving no room for himself to hesitate.

"Here," he told him, "-drink. It's clean."

The last part came as an afterthought. Cleaning... he hadn't done much of that since his father died. Didn't see the point. The man might be worried because the shack was so dirty.

The man stared at the cup with suspicion for a few seconds- before he slowly accepted it, his gaze lingering on his hands- his _claws_ , Keith realized. Curling them into his palms, he watched as the man drank slowly, just like his father had taught him too, on the unlikely chance he ever became dehydrated.

When he finally finished, the man let out a long breath, before finally really looking at him. He felt himself tense again, not knowing what to expect- but then he smiled, so soft that it had his guard crashing down.

"Thanks." He told him, and it sounded like he meant it.

Keith momentarily blanked, grabbing the cup from the man without fully thinking about it. "More?"

"Later." The man told him. "Were you the one who found me?"

Nodding, Keith suddenly became keenly aware that he was alone with a stranger right now. He tried not to think about it. "You were hurt."

He couldn't just _leave_ him there, even if he was afraid. That didn't... it didn't seem like it would be the _human_ thing to do, and he was still human, he thought. At least, his father had always assured him he was, but his memories of actually being human- or _looking_ it- were so dim that sometimes he wondered if he'd actually just made them up, and that his father was just a nice man who decided to take care of him.

What the blue lion had showed him indicated otherwise, but maybe that was just her way of being kind.

"Are your," the man began, sounding a bit uncertain now, "-are your parents around, maybe?"

He just shook his head, not really thinking about it. "Gone."

The man paled, and he didn't understand. "Gone," he repeated, "-gone for how long?"

He had to think about it, slowly counting it on his fingers. It had been four years now, since his father had died. A lot longer since his mom had left, but he didn't think that was what he was asking.

"Four months?"

He just shook his head again, wondering at the strain in the man's voice. "Four years."

The man just looked more distressed at that- or maybe he was reading him wrong? His interactions had been pretty limited- there was his father and the blue lion, and one of those wasn't exactly the best frame of reference to go off of.

"How," the man began, "-how old are you, kid?"

Keith held up both hands, splaying his fingers. The man seemed to get it, and Keith watched, curious, as he seemed to think about something. Crouching down by the couch, he peered up at him- he seemed pretty alert and aware, but maybe he was just numb.

"You're not gonna die, are you?" Keith asked. "Dad fell too."

He didn't know why he felt the need to supply this stranger with that piece of information- it had just slipped out.

The man blinked, before slowly touching his head, hand hovering just over the bandages. "No, I don't think so. Probably going to leave a nasty lump, though. You bandage me up yourself?"

Keith nodded, unable to stop himself from preening, just a little. "Dad taught me."

"He taught you pretty well, then." The man told him, falling back against his pillow. "Is it just you out here?"

Without thinking about it, he nodded. "Dad said it's not safe for me to go into town, cause people there might want to hurt me."

It was then that it finally clicked- that this man was a stranger. Someone he didn't know. Leaping to his feet, Keith's eyes went wide, suddenly fearful in a way he hadn't been before. He'd brought a _stranger_ back to the shack, when his dad had warned him that there were dangerous people out there- people who wanted to hurt him just because he was different.

That was why they were out here, and now he'd-

"You don't," Keith swallowed, backing away from the man quickly, "-you're not going to-!"

"I'm not going to hurt you," the man assured him, keeping his voice calm and level, "-I promise. You saved me."

He didn't know if he should believe that or not. What if he was lying? People did that.

But still... part of him wanted to believe this person, this man. He seemed kind, and he didn't want to think that someone who reminded him of his father so keenly could possibly be bad. "You swear?"

"I swear." The man assured him again, this time holding up a hand. "Here, we can do a pinky promise."

Pinky promise? Keith blinked. He'd never heard of such a thing. It hadn't been in any of his books, and neither his father or the blue lion had ever mentioned something like that. "Pinky promise?"

"Yup." The man nodded, curling all his fingers save for his pinky into his palm, leaving it extended. "Come here. I'll teach you."

Part of him tried to argue that this was probably some kind of trap- but he couldn't deny that he was curious. Besides, the man was injured- even if it was a trap, Keith was confident that he could overpower him and escape. Slowly, he crept back towards the man, mimicking his own gesture, extending his own pinky.

Carefully, the man took it in his own, telling him he'd swallow a thousand needles if he lied. Keith couldn't help but flinch- that sounded painful, and he told him as much.

"That's the idea." The man said. "That's how you know I'll keep my word."

Blinking, Keith stared down at his own pinky, before looking back up at the man. Anyone who was willing to swallow a thousand needles if they lied couldn't be a bad person, he reasoned. Crouching down beside the couch again, it occurred to him that he still hadn't given the stranger his name.

"Keith."

The man smiled. "Nice to meet you, Keith. I'm Shiro."

* * *

Shiro said he was a cadet at the Garrison, aiming to become a pilot. Keith believed that.

Shiro promised he'd come back. Keith didn't know if he believed that.

* * *

"-and that's when you- Keith? Something wrong?"

Blinking, Keith hadn't even realized he'd spaced out. It was just...

...Shiro had come back. He'd really, _really_ come back.

He hadn't dared to believe it. Shiro had promised, but he still didn't believe it. He trusted that he wouldn't hurt him- they'd made a pinky promise, after all, but it wasn't until he'd heard the knock on the shack door that he truly let himself believe that Shiro had really come back.

He'd thought... he'd thought that maybe this was something that would only happen once. A chance for a human encounter, after spending so long in solitude. The thought made him feel kind of guilty- he wasn't alone, not with the blue lion around, but the companionship he got from her was different than it had been with his father.

Something was missing.

Shaking his head, Keith looked up at Shiro. "I'm fine."

Shiro looked a little doubtful, but he still reached out, ruffling his hair. The touch made his heart soar- that was a different kind of loneliness, the kind the blue lion couldn't fulfill. That was it- that was what had been missing, he thought.

He wanted to lean into it, but that might be a bit weird, so he restrained himself.

"If you say so," Shiro told him, "-you got that lid?"

Quickly nodding, Keith thrust it up towards him. Shiro accepted it with a grateful smile, placing it on top of the pan. He had to stand on his toes to peer up at the stove, the scent of the eggs cooking almost tantalizing.

His dad used to make scrambled eggs for him every morning, and somehow, he burned them, every morning. Bacon, too. Sometimes he would make pancakes, and Keith would wake up in a good mood, their sweet aroma coaxing him out of bed. He never burnt the bacon or the pancakes- it was always just the eggs.

He wondered if Shiro burned his eggs.

"Now what?" Keith asked.

"Now we wait for a minute." Shiro told him. "We've got to let the yolks set."

Nodding his head, Keith stood on his toes all the while, peering at the cooking eggs. Shiro had brought a dozen with him, and they were going to make them all. If he paid close attention, Shiro told him he could make the last batch himself.

All the while, Keith marveled at the fact that he'd come back.

He didn't have to. He was just some random kid that he had no connection to. And maybe... maybe after this time, he wouldn't. Maybe he was just repaying him for saving his life. Maybe all this food was his way of saying thanks, and after this, he'd never see him again.

Maybe he just felt sorry for him.

Seeing Shiro, he was keenly reminded of the differences between him and a normal human. They weren't purple like him- didn't have claws or fangs, or pointed ears, and had soft, smooth skin. Their eyes weren't yellow, didn't glow in the dark, and weren't just one solid color- honestly, he struggled to think what about him actually _was_ human.

He was Galra. Like his mom, he was an alien.

He didn't belong here, on Earth. But he probably didn't belong up in space, either. That was why she hadn't taken him with her, right? Because it wasn't safe.

But it wasn't safe here either, not for him.

"Okay, done." Shiro said, taking off the lid and passing it back down to him. Keith accepted it without thinking, watching as Shiro slid the eggs carefully onto a plate. "Onto the next pair."

He must have been making quite the face, because Shiro paused, hand still hovering over the carton of eggs. "Keith?"

Shaking off his thoughts, Keith beamed. "Eggs, right?"

Shiro frowned, but eventually nodded his head, scooping up two eggs. "Eggs. You want to try and crack them?"

He perked up at that, quickly nodding his head. Maybe he should just enjoy this. Even if Shiro didn't come back after this, at least he'd keep the memory.

* * *

Shiro came back.

Once, twice- by the third time, Keith was slowly starting to understand that he was here to stay. He could only come on weekends- Saturday and Sunday, due to the fact that he had classes all the other days of the week. He understood- after all, he was training to be a _pilot_ , and not just _any_ pilot, but a _space_ pilot! That was only the coolest and best job there was.

(The second best was a firefighter. Keith knew this for a fact.)

He'd tell him about life at the Garrison. He was enthralled by it. His dad had told him a lot about the Garrison too, but he'd been a pilot, not a cadet- and while he loved hearing about his father's adventures in space, hearing about Shiro learning to be a pilot was just as interesting.

Sometimes, figures from his father's stories cropped up in Shiro's. Commander Iverson sounded just as stern and tough as he did in his father's stories, and so did Admiral Sanda, just more so. Shiro spoke favorably of a Professor Holt, that he dimly recalled his father mentioning once or twice.

He was _happy_ , he realized at some point. Happier than he had been since his father's death.

The blue lion noticed. She did not seem surprised by the fact that he had met another human, and that he had become his friend. But he'd long since learned that she worked in mysterious ways- maybe she already knew that something like this was going to happen.

He'd puffed out his cheeks at the thought. She could have told him!

Shiro brought him new clothes- clothes that actually _fit_. His favorite was the bright red hoodie, quickly taking to the sense of security that putting the hood up gave him. He had shown it off to the blue lion, and she had been properly impressed.

He found out a lot about Shiro. Like how eggs were the only thing he knew how to make, and how he was originally from a country called Japan. Keith had dug out his old geography workbook, showing it to him on the map, causing Shiro to praise him.

He really, _really_ liked it when Shiro praised him.

But all good things had to come to an end at some point. He just hadn't expected it to happen in the _bathroom_ , of all places.

When Shiro had told him that he was going to wash his hair, he'd been skeptical. He didn't see the need. He hadn't even liked it when his father was alive, so why would he want to do that now? The only times he really used the shower was when he got muddy, or was covered in dust from the desert, but otherwise, he usually ignored it.

But Shiro had been insistent, and it was _Shiro_ , after all, so he had let him.

Like a fool.

Obviously, everything from before had been a trap designed to lull him into a false sense of security so he could torture him later. He completely ignored the keening sounds that would always cause his father to freeze, allowing Keith time to scurry away and hide under the bed and hiss at him from underneath the safety of it.

Instead he was forced to endure Shiro tugging at his hair for what felt like _hours_. By the time he was finally satisfied, his head was throbbing, feelings of betrayal deeply settled in his stomach.

The worst part was, that when all was said and done, Shiro was right- he _did_ feel better now that his hair wasn't a greasy mass of tangles. His head felt lighter and not as itchy, but he was way too stubborn to admit to that.

But it had _hurt_.

So by the time it was over, Keith was sulking. Folding his arms tightly in front of his chest, he refused to look at Shiro. Shiro, who had the nerve to say that it hadn't been so bad.

It had been! It had been awful! And Shiro was awful for putting him through that!

So Keith just pouted. "I hate you."

"No you don't." Shiro said lightly. "Trust me, you're going to feel a lot better without all those mats in your hair."

"Am not!" He protested, narrowing his eyes and completely ignoring the fact that he _did_. "Shiro's just _mean_!"

"Does this mean you don't want me to come back?"

Keith froze at his words, eyes going wide. Shiro? Not coming back?

No! That wasn't what he wanted at all! Leaping to his feet, Keith pivoted on his heel, staring up at Shiro, blurting out the first thing that came to mind, "-no!"

"...no, you don't want me to come back?"

"No, I-!" Keith stammered, frantic. No, no, that wasn't what he wanted at all! He wanted Shiro to stay! He couldn't... he couldn't _leave_ , not after sticking with him for so long, could he?

He'd wash his hair! He would!

"I want- I want you to come back." Keith stammered.

"I thought you hated me?" Shiro asked.

Oh. He had said that. Why had he said that? He didn't hate Shiro. He didn't! "I don't- that was a lie."

"You shouldn't lie, Keith." Shiro chided him, and he bristled a bit at that. Maybe he had told a lie, but he wasn't the only one!

" _You_ lied." Keith insisted, puffing out his cheeks. "You said you wouldn't hurt me, and that hurt _a lot_."

Shiro, the traitor, just used that as a chance to remind him that it was _his_ fault that it had gotten that bad. Even made him promise to brush it from now on. Grumbling, Keith just sulked, letting Shiro dry his hair, trying to pretend that it didn't make him feel good, even going so far as to bite back the content rumble that he otherwise would have made.

No. Maybe he didn't hate Shiro, but he _was_ mad at Shiro. Super mad!

But when it came time for Shiro to leave, he still watched him with some apprehension. What if he took him seriously? What if he decided not to come back after this?

Grabbing at his pants without thinking about it, Keith frowned. "...you're coming back, right?"

Shiro just smiled at him. "Promise."

"I didn't mean it," Keith began, "-that I hated you. I didn't mean that."

Crouching down in front of him, Shiro rested a hand on his shoulder, steady and comforting. "I know you don't, Keith. I don't hate you either."

Looking up, Keith chewed on his lip- before releasing Shiro's pants, nodding his head. "Okay."

"Next time though," Shiro said, a grin that could almost be described as mischievous on his face, "-you and I are cleaning this place up."

He took it back. Shiro was the _worst_.

* * *

"He made me clean for _hours_ ," he whined to the blue lion later, lying on his back and staring up at the roof of the cavern, "-it's just gonna get dusty again."

The blue lion simply rumbled affectionately, lightly nudging the memory of the photo they had found while cleaning. He'd thought there weren't any photos of his father left, so he'd been over the moon to discover that there had been one, all this time.

And sure, maybe he wouldn't have found it if he hadn't cleaned the shack. But as far as he was concerned, that wasn't a fair trade off. Folding his arms in front of him, Keith puffed out his cheeks.

"It still sucked."

The blue lion, he swore, laughed.

* * *

His eleventh birthday passed without a fuss.

At least, it did, until Shiro decided to make one. It hadn't occurred to Keith to tell him- these past four years, he'd celebrated all of his birthdays alone, and it wasn't like Shiro could just come out here whenever he wanted.

Just asking about Halloween felt kind of selfish.

So when Shiro brought up celebrating his birthday when he had mentioned it in passing, Keith almost didn't want to talk about it. It didn't matter- he had gotten used to not really celebrating. He marked it, sure- but Shiro was talking about cake and presents, and he didn't know if he really deserved all of the fuss.

He already knew that Shiro was spending a lot on him. Granted, his understanding of money was pretty vague- there was a whole tin of it stuffed underneath his bed, not that he had any use for it, but he did at least have _some_ idea of how it was used. And he knew that things like food and clothes cost money.

And he knew that Shiro was just a student. He didn't have a job, and jobs were what people had to _get_ money. He understood that much.

He'd just- he'd really kind of missed candy, okay? That was the only reason he'd brought up Halloween.

But now Shiro was here, on his doorstep, with a bag of candy, a chocolate cake, and a present- the last thing he hadn't even asked for!

But he'd be lying if he said he wasn't even a little bit excited. He still remembered celebrating his birthday with his dad- he'd start the day with a stack of pancakes, with chocolate chips in them, and finish it with his dad bringing back home a big bag of candy after work. They would stay up as long as Keith was able, watching movies on his dad's laptop, and before he knew it, he'd fallen asleep, and it was tomorrow.

It kind of hurt to remember.

He wouldn't get to celebrate any more birthdays with his father. But maybe... maybe he could celebrate them with Shiro, from now on. It made him kind of sad, almost guilty- like he was leaving the memories of his father behind, replacing him.

But he didn't think his dad would mind. Not if it made him happy. And it did. It made him super happy!

And it wasn't like he was replacing him, not really. Shiro was Shiro, and his dad was his dad. They were both great, but Shiro... Shiro was more like a brother, maybe. The thought excited him a little- he'd always been an only child, so having a brother was something completely new to him.

He kind of wanted to ask Shiro if he felt the same way, but he was too afraid to. What if he didn't? He didn't think Shiro _disliked_ him, he wouldn't spend so much time with him if he didn't, but... it would kind of hurt if Shiro didn't think of him as family too.

Oh.

Family.

He thought of Shiro as _family_. When had that happened?

But he was. He did. Shiro was here, singing him Happy Birthday off key, encouraging him to blow out all eleven candles on his birthday cake, to make a wish.

He wished that Shiro would stay forever.

He blew out all the candles at once, and he hoped that was enough to make his selfish wish come true.

* * *

By Christmas, Keith was faced with a dilemma. Shiro had given him a Christmas present- and he didn't have anything to give him in return.

He loved it! He loved his Christmas present! It was a telescope, a real one! He could see all the way to the moon with it! Not a knock against his father, but it might have been the greatest Christmas present he'd ever gotten in his whole life.

Okay, so he was eleven, so maybe that wasn't saying a whole lot. But it was _amazing_.

It was amazing, and he had nothing to give Shiro in return.

"I don't know what to do," he whined, pressing his hands against his eyes, lying on his back in the blue lion's cavern, "-I gotta give him something. I _gotta_ , Blue!"

He was whining, and he knew it. Birthday presents were one thing, but Christmas presents were another- and if he didn't get Shiro something, he'd just look like a jerk.

The blue lion purred in response, and Keith pulled his hands away from his eyes, turning his head towards where she sat and didn't sit on a nearby rock, taking the form of a large blue lion. She showed herself like this a little less these days, and he wondered if it was because he had Shiro around now.

The thought made him feel a bit lonely.

But the blue lion merely nudged his thoughts, pointing them towards a set of his father's books he had seen while cleaning. Frowning, Keith looked skeptically at the lion, but if she said that they would make Shiro happy, he might as well and give it shot.

She was right, as it turned out- Shiro had smiled at him, thanking him in earnest. He felt a little guilty about giving Shiro something used- even if the telescope he'd given him for Christmas was also used. It was just... the scope was different.

But Shiro didn't mind at all. He was happy.

And that just made him happy in turn.

* * *

When Shiro showed up on New Year's Eve, Keith had been taken by surprise. It was late- already dark out, much later in the day than when he usually showed up.

He was even more surprised when he showed him what he'd brought with him.

"Fireworks!" Keith beamed, hoisting the package above his head, beaming triumphantly. "Can we really play with these, Shiro?"

"Wouldn't have brought them otherwise." Shiro told him, ruffling his hair, and he didn't fight the urge to purr. He'd never seen fireworks before, not for real!

Letting out a whoop, Keith scurried outside, jumping down off the shack's porch. Waving the package of fireworks above his head, he beamed. "What are you waiting for!? Let's hurry up and set them off!"

Shiro just chuckled, following behind him. Tearing open the package with his claws, he squinted at the instructions, before passing them to Shiro. He looked at him questioningly, and he tapped the part where it said that a responsible adult should set them up.

Shiro just passed them back, and he tilted his head.

"I can't see as well as you can in the dark, kiddo." Shiro told him. "Think maybe you can read them to me?"

Nodding his head, Keith beamed. "Yup!"

Reading off the instructions, he bounced on the balls of his feet as he watched Shiro set up the fireworks. He set aside the sparklers, to save them for later, and then ducked into the shack to get a bucket of water. Keith followed him inside, producing a box of matches, which Shiro gave a quick look over before ruffling his hair and telling him to find a good place to watch from.

Sitting down on the porch, Keith watched eagerly as Shiro carefully lit each firework, eyes wide with glee as they shot up into the sky and exploded into a burst of color. They weren't as big as the ones he'd seen in some of the movies his dad had shown him, but they were still impressive.

When the last one went off, Keith clapped, Shiro pausing to give him an overdramatic bow. Beaming, Keith leapt up onto his feet, holding up the reserved sparklers. "Can we play with these now?"

"As soon as we finish cleaning all this stuff up." Shiro told him, and he whined, just a bit. Shiro just chuckled, damn him.

His dad would fall for his whines all the time! Why was this the one place they had to be so different?

But he gave in, helping Shiro clean everything up, stuffing it all in a big plastic garbage bag that he would take with him back to the Garrison and throw out. Wasn't like there was a trash service all the way out here.

Then, finally, _finally_ , it was time to play!

Shiro, for his part, just bundled himself up in blankets, letting him have fun. The sparklers he bought were the kind that he could move around with, and it was fun to try and create shapes in the night with them. When he finally got down to the last one, he tried to make it last as long as possible, but it went out so quickly that it made him pout.

He crawled into Shiro's blanket nest after that. He wasn't cold, but it was still nice. His dad used to do the same thing, not being able to stand the chill of the desert air during winter nights like he could. Shiro, for his part, accepted him readily, wrapping a hand around his shoulder, and started off on a story about a New Year's from his childhood.

He'd wanted to stay awake until midnight, but he'd ended up drifting off. When he woke up, he was curled up in his bed, the smell of pancakes wafting through the air.

Half asleep, for a moment, he thought his dad had come back.

Scrambling to the kitchen, the word _dad_ hanging on his lips, Keith stopped short, realizing it wasn't his dad- it was Shiro.

Oh. That was right. His dad couldn't come back anymore.

"I'll be honest with you, kiddo," Shiro began, not seeming to notice his mood, "-I'm using box mix. Hopefully they still taste good!"

Keith looked up at Shiro. Maybe he wasn't his father, but he was still important to him. And he was still here.

So instead, Keith beamed. "Did you bring syrup too?"

"Pancakes without syrup?" Shiro nearly gasped, and Keith had to roll his eyes. " _Never_."

* * *

"Well, I'll keep my eyes out for any purple aliens while I'm out there."

A joke.

Shiro had meant that as a joke. He knew that. He was chuckling, affectionately ruffling his hair like he always did. Nothing was different from how it usually was. But his words, his joke, sent a bolt of fear through Keith's heart, one that had him bolting to his feet in a heartbeat, eyes wide.

"No, you can't, you-!"

Clenching his fists, Keith stopped himself short. Staring down at the ground like it was the most fascinating thing ever, and not a sight he saw every day, he bit down on his lip, hard. How could he... how could he tell Shiro the truth? He knew about his mom, he knew that she was an alien, but he didn't- he didn't know everything.

He didn't know about what the Galra were like.

It was just a joke, he told himself. Shiro didn't mean that. It wasn't like the Galaxy Garrison had any ships that could go beyond their galaxy anyways, so maybe he was worried for nothing.

But his mom had come here. And so had those scouts, the one who forced her to leave. And if they could find Earth, if they could find this system, who was to say that other Galra wouldn't?

"Keith?" Shiro asked, his voice gentle, if not concerned. "Did I say something wrong?"

He didn't want to tell him. He didn't want Shiro to think differently of him.

He knew that he _was_ different. There was no getting around that. He was purple, his mom was from space, and his best friend was an ancient, sentient warship. But none of that mattered to Shiro- not that he _knew_ about that last part, but he was convinced it wouldn't matter to him even if it did.

But this was... this was different.

His father hadn't told him much about the Galra Empire, but the blue lion had filled in some of the gaps when he'd asked. Which wasn't often. He was kind of afraid to find out more. To learn just how bad they really were.

And the blue lion was still hurting, ten thousand years later.

"You can't."

It was only when Shiro asked what he couldn't do, that Keith realized he'd spoken.

"Dad said..." trailing off, Keith shifted on his feet, afraid to look up, "...they're bad."

He braced himself, holding in all of his fears. But when Shiro spoke, his voice was gentle, soft. "They're bad?"

Slowly daring to look up, Keith nodded his head. Shiro didn't look... he didn't look any different than usual. Worried, maybe. But not mad, or afraid, or disgusted. Just worried.

"Dad said," Keith began, taking in a deep breath, "-dad said mom's not bad, and her friends aren't bad, but there's a lot... a lot that are bad."

He waited, all coiled tension, for Shiro to speak, to react in some way, _any_ way. What if he was reading him wrong? What if... what if he wouldn't come back after this? Or what if he thought _he_ was a bad alien, and he decided to break his promise?

He wasn't a bad alien. He really wasn't. His dad had said so, and his dad wouldn't lie.

"Okay," Shiro said finally, "-I won't look for them."

He felt himself let out a breath of relief, tension seeping from his body. "Promise?"

"Promise." Shiro assured him, beaming. Like nothing was wrong. Like nothing had changed. "Now c'mere. Why don't I whip us up something to eat?"

All the tension washed out of him at once.

Shiro didn't care. He'd told him, and Shiro didn't care.

"Yeah," nodding his head, Keith returned his smile, his heart lighter than it had been in a long time, "-I'd like that."

Maybe his birthday wish had come true after all.


	3. sam

Here's the latest chapter! I hope everyone enjoys it! I'm happy that I was able to finish it up today, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to or not. But here we are! As always, thanks for reading!

* * *

 **desert raised**

 **sam**

* * *

He should have noticed the snake.

He didn't, not until it had already sunk its fangs into him. His body largely reacted on instinct, drawing his mother's knife and throwing it, spearing the creature with it. The snake writhed and twisted around the blade, before going still, dead.

Swallowing, he dropped his gaze to his ankle. It was already starting to swell, and he could feel his heart start to beat a little faster in his chest. He tried to recall what his father had taught him about rattlesnake bites, but drew up a complete blank.

What was he supposed to do? Suck out the poison? That sounded right, but instead of taking action, he found himself paralyzed. His heart was beating fast- was that because of the poison? Or was that just him?

A surge of fear gripped at his heart, around the same time he realized he was panicking. With it came a surge of pain, one that had him collapsing on the floor, having to bite down on his tongue to keep himself from screaming.

It hurt- it _really_ hurt! Was it supposed to hurt this much?

He needed to- what did he need to do? The poison? What was he supposed to do with the poison? He couldn't remember. He needed- he needed help. He didn't know what to do. He needed to get help. But he couldn't- help was in town, and if he went to town, there were dangerous people there. They would want to hurt him. His dad had said so, and he didn't lie.

But would it hurt more than this?

Digging his claws into the floor of the shack, Keith hissed, his eyes shutting tight. It hurt, it hurt! Should there really be this much pain? Was it because of him? Did it hurt so much because he wasn't completely human?

The Garrison. His dad had worked at the Garrison, right? Shiro was at the Garrison, right? Maybe they could... no, no, if he went there, he'd just get hurt.

He was afraid. Fear took him and held him tight, filling in the gaps that the pain didn't reach. Unable to hold it back this time, he cried out in pain. How much time had passed? It hadn't been that long, had it? But everything blurred together, and he didn't- he didn't know. He didn't know what was going to happen.

Was he going to die? He didn't want that! He'd just turned twelve the other week! Shiro had promised to take him out on his hoverbike again! He didn't want that, he didn't want to die.

He wanted to see his dad again, sure, but he didn't want it this bad!

Letting out a whimper, he thought he heard something. But maybe it was just his imagination. That was what people did when they were dying, right? They imagined things, right? His dad hadn't imagined anything, but in the movies...

"Keith!"

Shiro. It was Shiro.

He could feel Shiro's hand on his head, cool as ice. Or maybe he was just really warm. He didn't know.

"Keith," Shiro said, a desperation in his voice that he'd never heard before, "-stay with me, buddy."

Cracking one eye open, Shiro's face swam in his vision. "...shiro?"

Was he really here? This wasn't a dream?

"Yeah, kiddo, it's me." Shiro assured him. "I'm here."

He wanted to be relieved, but the pain didn't let him. He let out another cry, nearly choking on his own breath in the process. He barely made out what Shiro was saying to him, but it felt like he was asking what happened. It took all his effort to point to where the dead snake lay.

Shiro got the picture.

He felt his pant leg pulled up, and heard Shiro suck in his breath. Was it that bad?

He asked him _how long_ , and he could only shake his head. He didn't know. It was enough for Shiro. He sprang into action, grabbing his hunting sack and shoving the dead snake inside, before scooping him up into his arms.

"I'm gonna get you help, buddy." Shiro assured him. "Stay with me."

Help?

Keith's thoughts buzzed. What did he mean, help?

The scenery blurred, the smell of motor oil filling his nostrils. Outside. They'd gone outside. In a panic, he realized what Shiro intended to do. He was going to take him away from the desert, away from _safety_.

No, no, he'd promised! He'd promised he wouldn't do that!

Letting out a low whine, Keith tried fruitlessly to push away from Shiro, but he had no strength. He told him, he told him he couldn't leave, but Shiro didn't listen.

He didn't remember much after that. He remembered the sound of Shiro's heart, beating frantically in his chest. Voices. Unfamiliar scents. As Shiro told it later, he'd passed out at some point.

All he knew was that when he woke up, there was a scent he didn't recognize. It was all over the blanket that covered him, and he'd frantically tossed it away, pressing himself against the edge of the couch. Shiro was there, but Shiro couldn't be trusted. He'd taken him out of the desert, brought someone he didn't know into the shack.

He'd broken his promise.

He told him he didn't have a choice. That he just wanted to get him help. Swallowing, Keith slowly let himself believe that.

Shiro didn't want to hurt him. He'd just wanted to help him. And he had- the pain was gone, his vision clear. He could see the worry that was etched onto Shiro's face, and it stung. He didn't want to make Shiro worry.

And Shiro... Shiro trusted this person. And if Shiro trusted him, then they couldn't be so bad, right? They'd helped him, after all.

That was how he first met Sam Holt.

He didn't _look_ scary. He just looked like a nice old man. He told him that he'd met him before, that he knew his dad, but he didn't remember. If he had, it must have been a long time ago, before the desert. Before he'd turned purple.

He asked him how he was feeling, and he told him that he felt better. He hid his leg, the one that had been bitten, though he didn't know why.

"That's good to hear." Sam said, and he sounded like he _meant_ it. But that wasn't enough. Just because he didn't _look_ scary, didn't mean he _wasn't_ scary.

"You know," Sam said, "-I have a son just a year older than you."

In spite of himself, Keith perked up at that. Peering out a bit from behind Shiro, he frowned. "Yeah?"

He was a father? He didn't think a father could be a bad person.

"Sure do. His name's Matt." Sam told him, and he almost seemed to beam, glowing with what he quickly recognized as pride. He knew that expression. He'd seen it on his dad's face, whenever he solved a tough problem in his workbooks, or he showed him the cool things he found.

Sam had a son, and he was proud of him.

"I've got a little girl, too," Sam added, looking no less proud, "-name's Katie. She turned eight this year."

A daughter! He had two kids! That made him like... _twice_ the dad his dad was. At least, he was pretty sure that was how it worked.

"I'm twelve." He supplied, feeling a little less wary. "You knew my dad?"

"Sure did." Sam beamed. "I'd just started working at the Garrison when your dad was a cadet there."

He perked up at that right away, releasing his vice grip on Shiro's sleeve. "You knew my dad when he was _young_?"

His dad as a cadet! He didn't know that many stories from that time. It always felt like he avoided talking about it for some reason.

"Not as well as I knew him when he started working for the Garrison," his face fell a bit at that- oh, he'd been hoping for some stories, "-but I saw him around campus a few times."

"He was always so proud of you, you know." Sam told him, a smile on his face that could only be described as _soft_. "Day after you were born, he came into work gloating about it, saying you were the most wonderful baby anyone ever did see."

He felt his cheeks flush at that. He'd wanted stories, sure, but he hadn't expected them to be that _embarrassing_! Had his dad really done that?

Sure, he was happy that he was proud of him, but it was so embarrassing! The fact that both Shiro and Sam seemed to chuckle at his reaction totally didn't help.

He'd take it back. He knew having a stranger at the shack was a bad idea.

* * *

"I found this while going through some things in the archives," Sam began, "-thought you might want to have it."

Staring down at the book, Keith frowned. He knew he had told Sam that he could come back if he really wanted, but he hadn't really expected him to. He'd be happy enough if he just kept him a secret- anything else felt like it was asking too much.

But here he was, on his doorstep, a book in hand.

Staring up at Sam for a long moment, Keith's brows knit together. He knew he said he trusted him, but there was still some doubt there.

The book he had didn't even look very interesting. Sure, he'd moved on from picture books, but this one didn't even have a colorful illustration or anything on the cover. It just looked dull.

Still, he took it from him, careful of his claws. The paper seemed a bit delicate, so he opened it with care. There was a page that had been marked, so he went to that one first. There were a whole bunch of photos, portraits of a bunch of people close to Shiro's age, clad in the orange uniform he had learned to associate with Garrison cadets.

And one of them was his father.

He looked up at Sam with wide eyes, pulling the book a bit closer to his chest. He was definitely younger- he didn't even have the scar over his brow yet- but there was no mistake- that was his father. His name was listed and everything!

"This was the cadet yearbook they put out the year your father graduated." Sam informed him, crouching down so that they were at eye level. "There's some other photos of him in here, if you want to see."

He did. Nodding his head, Keith parted with the book, just enough so that Sam could turn the pages. Caution thrown to the wind in pursuit of this new side of his father, Keith's eyes shone as he showed him another photo, this one of his father and a bunch of other cadets. Glancing at the caption below the photo, he read it out loud.

"The desert life research club," he read, "-my dad was part of a club?"

The Garrison had _clubs_? He vaguely knew what one was, but Shiro hadn't mentioned that! Neither had his dad! He pouted a bit at that. That was mean, keeping information from him. His dad was one thing, but Shiro had promised to tell him _everything_.

"Not a whole lot," Sam told him, "-but there's a few. Sadly, I don't think the desert life club is around any longer. Probably got dissolved a few years back."

"Dad liked the desert." Keith told him. "That's why he built this shack."

He didn't think his dad had ever expected to actually _live_ here, though. He had been pretty young at the time, but he dimly remembered him doing a lot of work on the shack when they had first moved out here. He didn't think that a lot of the stuff that was a part of the shack now had always been there.

"I always knew he had a place out here somewhere," Sam admitted, "-but I never knew where."

Keith frowned a bit at that. "So... you and my dad were friends?"

"Oh, we got along well enough." Sam told him. "He was a good man. I'm sorry to hear about your loss."

Oh. So he knew about that too. Of course he did- it made sense. To the Garrison, his father must have just disappeared.

He didn't know what to say to that, so he just ducked his head, pulling the yearbook closer. "Can I keep this?"

"Of course you can." Sam assured him. "That's why I brought it."

He hugged the book closer, a faint smile touching his face. He could keep it!

Looking up at Sam, he studied the man carefully. He really didn't seem like a bad person- he'd helped him, and he'd kept his word. And now he'd brought him a treasure, a piece of his dad's history that he didn't know about.

And Shiro said that he could trust him.

"...thank you."

Sam just smiled. It was different from his dad's smile, or even Shiro's smile, but it was a good smile. Warm and inviting. He could understand how Sam could be a father- he seemed really kind. His kids must love him a lot.

He felt a sting of pain at the thought, clutching the book even tighter. He'd loved his dad a lot too, so why was he dead? He didn't understand why, but in that moment, it all just seemed so _unfair_ to him. His dad hadn't done anything wrong, so why did he have to die?

Shiro had told him that it wasn't his fault, but he didn't know if he believed him.

Sam's smile faltered. "Keith? Everything okay?"

Realizing his thoughts must have shown on his face, Keith quickly nodded. "I'm fine. Thanks for the book, Mr. Holt."

"Sam's fine, you know." Sam told him.

Keith just frowned at that, his brows knitting together. "But you're _old_."

He didn't understand it at the time, but later he realized that his words had probably stung. Sam winced, but otherwise laughed off his remark.

"Well, in that case, I guess Mr. Holt is just fine." Sam told him, before glancing down at his watch, lips set in a tight frown. "Now I'm afraid I have to get back to work soon, but you let me know if there's anything you need."

Blinking, Keith looked up at him. "I'm fine."

He felt a bit sad that Sam was leaving already, but at the same time, he was grateful he hadn't asked to come into the shack. He trusted him, but he didn't trust him _that_ much.

Not yet, at least.

"Good to hear it." Sam told him. "Well, I'd better-"

"Will you come back?" Keith blurted out.

Sam blinked, looking down at him like he hadn't expected him to ask that. Truthfully, he hadn't either. It felt a bit a selfish of him, seeing as he had Shiro already, but having another person around made him feel a bit less lonely.

Sam just cracked a smile. "Sure, if that's what you want."

Slowly nodding his head, Keith chewed on his lip. That _was_ what he wanted, he thought.

Sam wasn't scary. He was nice.

"Well then," Sam said, "-I'll be sure to come visit again, Keith."

Clutching the yearbook tighter, Keith nodded again. Watching as Sam got into his car and drove off, he waited on the porch until he couldn't see it anymore.

He said he'd come back.

Shiro had said that too, the first time they'd met, but he hadn't believed him. But this time... he thought he believed Sam, just a little.

* * *

"Shoes?"

Blinking, Keith tilted his head. He was sitting on the couch, having crawled over Shiro's lap to insert himself between him and Sam. The professor had brought his laptop over, and had been toying with it for a bit while Keith brought them both something to drink.

"Yup, shoes." Sam told him. "I've got a friend in the business of making customs. Given your foot shape, that's probably what you'll be needing."

Frowning, Keith stared down at his feet. Curling his toes inward, his claws nicked the surface of the shack floor, adding new scratch marks to the surface. He hadn't really thought about shoes in years, not since he had outgrown the only pair he had. His dad's boots were way too big- there was no way they would fit, so he'd just gone barefoot ever since then.

It was fine- or it _had_ been fine, until that snake bit him.

But still...

"I don't need them." Keith said, resolute. "They make my feet feel funny."

Even the sneakers his dad had bought for him had. They always felt too tight, even if he got them a size or two bigger. But at the same time, they were also loose in places because of that. He had to tie the laces extra tight just to keep them on.

"That's because the ones you wore in the past were probably store bought." Sam told him. "But we can get these to match the proportions of your feet exactly."

Keith still frowned, unconvinced.

"You could design them yourself." Shiro offered.

Design them himself? Lifting his head, he looked up at Shiro. He just gave him an encouraging nod, motioning with his head towards Sam. Curious, he peered over at the old man, who directed his gaze to his laptop.

"Now, normally this is online, but since you don't get Internet out here," and Keith perked up at the mention- he knew about the Internet, "-I just made a copy of the program."

"It can make me shoes?" Keith blinked.

"No, not exactly." Sam told him. "But it can let us submit an order to have them made."

Frowning, Keith stared at the screen. He didn't know. Designing them himself sounded fun, but what if this was another trick? Like the time Shiro had washed his hair?

(He'd been taking good care of it since then, just to prevent Shiro from subjecting him to that again.)

Still...

"Okay," nodding his head, Keith looked between the two men, "-I want to try it."

"Good to hear, kiddo." Shiro said, giving his hair an affectionate ruffle. He purred in response, leaning into the touch. He wasn't as good at it as his dad had been, but he wasn't a slouch, either. He just needed more practice.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Sam's blink. But his surprise eased into a faint smile, moving his laptop so that it was right in front of Keith. "Now, before we begin, are there any colors you would like?"

"Red and white!" Keith blurted out, beaming.

Shiro just covered his snort with his hand, and he glared at him. What? What was wrong with red and white? They were the best colors there were.

"No," Shiro said, seemingly reading his mind, "-it's nothing. Red and white are fine."

Nodding his head, Keith stared at the laptop screen for a second longer- before he looked Sam square in the eye.

"I don't know how to use one of these."

Now it was Sam's turn to chuckle, and his turn to pout, _again_. Were they just making fun of him? Is this what this was about? Was it a trap to make fun of him?

"Don't worry," Sam assured him, "-I'll teach you. We're just doing a lot of clicking and pointing, so I'm sure you'll catch on quick."

Keith frowned, but he trusted Sam. He was a teacher, and Keith had never had one of those. Sure, his father and Shiro _taught_ him things... but they weren't _teachers_. There was a difference.

"Okay," Keith said, "-show me."

* * *

The boots arrived a month later, every bit as cool as Keith had pictured. They still _felt_ weird though, just not the same way his old ones had. Shiro said it was because he needed to break them in, but he wasn't sure if that was right.

It still didn't stop him from showing them off to the blue lion.

She purred, seemingly very pleased by his new acquisition. In turn, he beamed, chattering away about everything that had happened between now and his last visit.

When he had first met Sam, she had been excited for him. She had prodded at the memory of him speaking about his children, seeming to repeat the earlier question of whether or not he'd like to meet them. He'd frowned at that, and had quickly changed the topic.

Sam was fine. Shiro had been right, he could trust him. But other people... he just didn't know. Even kids seemed like they could be a risk.

Didn't normal kids talk a lot? What if they talked about him?

Even worse, what if they didn't like him? He had seen in the movies, how sometimes kids could be really mean. That if someone was different, they would make fun of them because of it.

And he was _a lot_ different.

The blue lion seemed to sense his hesitation, and had changed the topic. She hadn't brought it up again since then. She didn't bring it up today, either. Today she barely spoke. But that was okay- he had plenty of things to tell her, so it didn't matter.

Lately, he had a lot more to talk about. It made him happy, and he was pretty sure it made the blue lion happy too.

* * *

"You know," Sam began, "-we have an extra room at home."

Some part of him recognized the statement as being innocuous. Sam was just worried about him, that was all. But another part of him bristled at the offer, sensing a trap that surely wasn't there- and it was that part of him that won out.

He hissed, barely turning that into a more discernible _no_. Sam, for his part, instantly backed down.

"That's fine," Sam told him, though something in his tone made him feel like it wasn't, not completely, "-just wanted to put the offer out there."

Frowning, Keith still felt a bit wary. He was pretty sure he could overpower Sam if he had to, but he didn't think he would have to. Breathing in a long breath, he calmed himself- it was just that. An offer. He wasn't trying to trap him, or drag him out of the desert.

He was just being nice.

"Okay," Keith said, calmer this time, "-okay. But I don't want to."

"Got it." Sam told him. "You don't have to if you don't want to, Keith."

Chewing on his lip, Keith just nodded. He made a show of ducking his head back into his book, but he wasn't actually reading. His thoughts were going a mile a minute, in fact.

Leave the desert? He hadn't even thought it was possible. It had always seemed like such a dangerous idea. He was out here because it was safe- he was far away from the people who wanted to hurt him, and could live freely.

So to leave the desert... no. The thought scared him. Shiro and Sam were both good people, but just because _they_ were good people, didn't mean everyone else would treat him the same. He was older now, so he sort of understood what his dad had been worried about a little better- he hadn't missed how shocked Shiro had been when he had learned that aliens were real.

He was proof of the unknown. People would... they'd want to study him, right? They wouldn't treat him like a human, even if he was part human, even if he had been born here on Earth.

He didn't want that. He'd rather be lonely than that.

And he wasn't lonely. Not really. At least... not as much, not anymore. Shiro and Sam were here, and that was two people. _Two!_ It had always been just him and his dad, and now he knew two people he could trust.

It really was more than he could ask for.

But no. He wouldn't leave the desert.

* * *

Movie over, Keith let out a faint grunt, rolling over on his back. He had been spread out on the floor of the shack, watching the movie that Shiro had brought over on his laptop, while Shiro did boring adult stuff- probably paperwork or something like that.

Guess even being a cool space pilot had its dull moments.

"Movie over?" Shiro asked, glancing up at him.

Making a faint noise of acknowledgement, he stared up at the ceiling. He could just make out Shiro setting down his papers, moving to close the program that played the movie, and powering off his laptop. Pushing himself up into a sitting position, he swayed a little- the movie had been good, but he'd been siting still for the past two hours, and now he was eager to get moving again.

"Shiro," he whined, "-take a break."

Giving him a faint smile, Shiro ruffled his hair. "Sure thing. I was just thinking about taking one anyways."

That was a lie, but it was the kind he was okay with. Hauling himself to his feet, Keith watched as Shiro arranged his papers, before beaming at him. "Want to go for a ride?"

Eyes lighting up, Keith nodded. Of course he wanted to go for a ride!

"Who am I kidding, of course you do." Shiro laughed. "Well, don't just stand there. Come on."

Sitting behind Shiro, Keith carefully held onto his shoulders. He didn't want to grip them too tight, otherwise he'd just hurt him with his claws. The fabric of his leather jacket was pretty sturdy, but he still didn't want to take the risk.

The last thing he wanted was to hurt Shiro, even by accident. But he knew he was capable of it- between his claws and fangs, he was dangerous. Add his abnormal strength to that, and well...

Maybe it was for the best that he had turned down Sam's offers of meeting his children. He barely remembered it, but he knew that when he'd first changed, he'd had to teach himself to be gentle. His father had old scars on his arms, scratch marks from his claws before he learned how to grip properly with them.

He never complained about it, but they always made him feel guilty.

With Shiro, he'd had to learn to be gentle all over again. Out in the desert for so long, he'd lost the trick of it.

And kids were fragile. Or they were supposed to be. And he liked Sam, so the last thing he wanted to do was accidentally hurt his kids.

As if sensing something was wrong, Shiro stopped the bike, looking back at him. "Everything okay, Keith?"

Opening his mouth to say that everything was fine, Keith instead stared down at his hands, still carefully gripping Shiro's shoulders. Frowning, he looked back at Shiro. "I- you'd tell me if it hurt, right?"

Blinking, Shiro stared at him blankly, like he didn't get it. "I'm not sure I-"

"My claws," Keith blurted out, "-I... you'd tell me if I dug them in too far, right?"

Comprehension dawned on Shiro's face, and he gave him one of those pained smiles he got whenever he said something that hurt him. "You've never hurt me, Keith, I promise."

Frowning, he didn't know if he believed that. Shiro was really nice, so maybe he had, and he'd just kept it to himself.

"And even if you did," Shiro added, "-people hurt each other by accident all the time. Just because you have claws doesn't make you any more dangerous than anyone else."

 _Dangerous_. He hadn't even mentioned that, but Shiro had just gone ahead and read his mind anyways. Rude.

"I know, but... I don't want to." Keith told him. "Even by accident."

He was scared. Scared that he'd turn out to be just like his mother's people- not her friends, not the good Galra, but the bad ones, the ones who had caused so much pain. Not just to the universe, something so broad and vast that he could barely comprehend it, but also to his father. Because of them, his mom had to leave, and he knew that his father had been lonely ever since.

Just in the same way the blue lion and Shiro had never been able to fill the gap his father's death had left in his heart, his presence had never been able to fill the gap his mother's absence had left in his father's heart. Now that he was older, he sort of understood that.

But they had hurt his father physically too. He never told him that much, but he'd seen the scar on his back, and had put two and two together. Sometimes it made his shoulder ache, but he never complained.

"Keith," Shiro's voice was soft, but it didn't need to be loud to draw him in, "-you know that's what matters most, right?"

Blinking, Keith stared at him. "What does?"

"That you don't want to hurt anyone." Shiro told him.

He didn't know about that. Maybe Shiro was right, and people accidentally hurt each other all the time, but he wasn't like other people. His heritage was...

Shiro just let out a faint sigh, but it wasn't one of disappointment. Twisting around a bit so that he could reach back behind him, he scooped him up, plopping him in front of him on his hoverbike. Staring up at Shiro, the older man just beamed at him.

"Come on," he said, "-how about I give you a chance at the controls?"

Keith stared at him longer, then slowly, but surely, nodded his head. He didn't understand why Shiro had suddenly offered, but of course he did. Being on the hoverbike like this... it was probably the closest thing he'd ever get to being a pilot.

Shiro carefully guided his hands to the controls, resting his own over them. He pouted a little at that- he thought that Shiro was going to let him try them for real.

"Hold on tight." Shiro told him. "Wouldn't want to accidentally lose you somewhere. Sam and I wouldn't make for a very effective search party."

"Shiro, if I fell off the bike, I'd be dead." Keith pointed out. "Or badly hurt."

"Okay, fair enough." Shiro admitted. "But that's how it works. You know I'd never want to hurt you, right?"

Frowning, Keith nodded. He did. He'd promised, and the one time he'd broken it had been to help him.

"It's the same for everyone." Shiro said. "We're all afraid of hurting those we care about. And if we do... well, the best thing we can do is apologize and try to make up for it. Nobody's perfect."

"But I'm..."

"You're twelve." Shiro told him. "And twelve year old kids are allowed to make mistakes more than most people are."

"Even ones that might hurt other people?" Keith asked, uncertain.

"Yup," Shiro told him, "-so long as they learn from it. _And_ remember to apologize."

He didn't know about that. That sounded too easy. But then... Shiro knew a lot more about dealing with people than he did. And probably ever would.

That was a bit lonely. But it wasn't like there was anything he could do about it. He wouldn't- _couldn't_ \- leave the desert.

He wouldn't leave the desert... but was there really nothing he could do about it? No, there was one thing. He just... he just couldn't decide if it was a good idea or not.

* * *

In the end, he never figured out what it was that caused him to come to the decision he did. He could think of a lot of potential reasons, but nothing to pinpoint the actual cause.

But once he decided, he acted on it immediately- just in case he changed his mind. Looking up at Shiro and Sam, he resolved himself, drawing in a big breath. He was about to take a big step, and even though he was scared, at the same time, he couldn't deny that part of him actually felt... _hopeful_ about it.

Like it would really work out.

"I want to meet them."


	4. matt and katie

Here's the next chapter, also known as the chapter in which Keith makes friends and makes us cry a lot (but that's like, every chapter). Fun fact, Katie technically will have two chapters- one as Katie and another as "Pidge". Obviously next chapter is Colleen's! Depending on how it goes, there might actually be an extra chapter beyond the seven total I have planned- just because there's a pretty big gap to fill between Colleen's chapter and Pidge's chapter, lol- might make one that just revolves around "family" in general.

Also, season eight tomorrow! It's sad to see things end, but as they say, all good things must come to an end.

* * *

 **desert raised**

 **matt and katie**

* * *

Sam's children were named Matt and Katie, and they thought he was _cool_.

He had been dreading the worst, at first. That they would hate him, call him a freak, and that they wouldn't want to be his friend. He'd never had friends close to his own age- and it wasn't until he actually saw the pair of children get out of Sam's car that he realized it was also something he desperately wanted.

But instead of rejecting him, they had called him _cool_ , and had been excited to hear about his telescope. It was how they found themselves in the backyard, the pair of siblings hovering around the telescope that Shiro had given him during that first Christmas.

Matt was both older and taller than him, though the former was only by a year. His voice kind of sounded funny sometimes, and he was kind of gangly and awkward looking, but Keith had refrained from commenting. He wore round glasses, just like his dad, and he wondered if they didn't fit him quite right, because he always seemed to be adjusting them, pushing them up by the edge.

Katie was younger than him- he blanked on how young. Eight? Nine? She felt younger. Nobody had told him how _tiny_ she was- or maybe that was normal? He swore that he had been taller when he was that age, but maybe he just wasn't remembering it right. It wasn't like he'd had anyone to compare himself too, though he hadn't grown that much in the past few years since he'd met Shiro.

"So, do... do you like it?" Keith asked, suddenly nervous again. What if they didn't? They said that they had a telescope at their place that could see clearly all the way to _Mars_. His just seemed kind of pathetic by comparison.

But Matt beamed at him, and he felt his nerves wash away. "It's totally cool! We can't get the right angle to see the old moon base this well from our place."

"Yeah?" Keith asked.

"We can only see the new one," Katie whined, "-but the new one _sucks_."

"You said that already." Keith pointed out.

"It sucks so much, I had to say it twice." Katie huffed.

Tilting his head, Keith blinked. Sound logic. He didn't know why she hated the new one so much, but still- he couldn't find any fault with what she had said.

"Katie just likes making sure her opinions are known." Matt grinned, ruffling his sister's hair with such affection, that it made something stir within him.

Keith cracked a faint smile, even as he chewed on the corner of his lip. "So... you said your dad told you about me?"

"Yeah!" Matt nodded. "He told us all about you on the trip over. I thought he was pulling my leg at first, but guess not!"

He frowned a bit at that, brow furrowing. He didn't know what to make of that statement- but he guessed it was fair. It wasn't like humanity had regular contact with alien lifeforms- or _any_ , period. He could understand the skepticism.

"He talks about you two a lot too." Keith said quickly. He didn't want to talk about just him. He was pretty sure that was rude.

"Only good stuff, I hope!" Matt joked.

"He probably just tells him about all the embarrassing stuff you do." Katie beamed, mischief in her smile. "Right~?"

"Uh..." Keith frowned, unsure of what he was supposed to say here. Agree? Disagree? He didn't want them to hate him, or to make a bad impression, so in his panic, he just... _blanked_. It didn't seem to matter though, because the siblings seemed to press on without him, barely batting an eye at his sudden silence.

"Please," Matt snorted, "- _you're_ probably the one he tells embarrassing stories about."

"Nun-uh!" Katie protested, puffing out her cheeks. "I've never done anything embarrassing. _You're_ the one who ripped your pants on the swings and didn't notice until five hours later!"

Keith snorted, then quickly slapped his hands over his mouth. He shouldn't have done that! Matt was going to think he was making fun of him, and he was going to be mad at him!

Instead, Matt just turned bright red. "Katie! You said you wouldn't tell anyone!"

Sticking out her tongue, Katie grinned like an imp. "Don't remember saying that."

Hands dropping from his face, Keith blinked. The expected anger didn't come, and while sure, Matt seemed pretty embarrassed, he didn't actually seem _angry_ at him for laughing. Was that... was that okay then? He thought laughing at other people was _bad_.

He suddenly realized just how horribly out of touch he was.

In spite of himself, he felt his cheeks heat up- turning a deeper shade of purple, rather than the vivid shade of crimson that Matt just had. He didn't know why he felt so flustered, he just _did_.

It was just... it probably should have occurred to him sooner, but it had never quite dawned on him just how _awkward_ he was. Had Shiro noticed? He'd never said anything!

"How's it going back here?"

Jolting back into awareness, Keith pivoted on his heel, staring up at Shiro. Sometimes he swore he could read his mind, mostly because he refused to believe that he could really be that obvious. When he had told the blue lion as much, she had just unhelpfully chuckled, but he had opted to ignore it.

"Everything's fine, Mister Shirogane!" Matt told him.

Shiro cracked a smile at that. "Just Shiro is fine. Keith show you his telescope?"

"Yeah, it's pretty cool!" Matt said.

Looking over towards Matt, Keith frowned again. Did he really mean that? Even though he had one at home that was cooler? Furrowing his brow in thought, Keith shifted on his feet. Dealing with kids his own age was harder than he thought. Maybe the reason he hadn't noticed how awkward he was until now was just because he'd never done it before.

It had always been people older than him- first it was his dad, then it was Shiro and Sam. He didn't have any experience at all with children, even though he _was_ one.

Oh, he realized in that instant- he'd been lonely. It was a different kind of loneliness from what he'd felt while he'd been out here by himself, but it was loneliness all the same. He'd wanted friends, all this time, he'd wanted friends. He'd just never known what was missing, so he'd never realized it.

"U-um," Keith blurted out without thinking, his voice probably much louder than he intended, "-you can- you can come back if you want! I mean, you don't have to leave right now, that's not what I'm saying, you can still stay today if you want to, but you can- if you want to come back and play again, you can! That's fine!"

By the end, his cheeks were burning. He knew for sure he'd messed up. What if being too eager scared them away? What if-

Matt and Katie blinked, exchanging a look. For a brief second, he felt himself tense up, suddenly fearing the worst- before the siblings shared a smile between themselves.

"Of course!" Matt told him, smiling at him now. "We're already friends, right?"

"Right?" Katie echoed.

 _Friends_. Keith felt something in his heart swell, nodding eagerly. He had _friends_.

"Yeah!"

* * *

"When are they coming?"

"In ten minutes." Shiro replied, not looking up from his tablet. He didn't even bother asking what he was doing. Probably something _boring_. Who cared about Shiro's stupid adult paperwork when Matt and Katie were supposed to come over again today.

Puffing out his cheeks, Keith groaned, draping himself over the railing of the porch. "That's too far away."

"It's just ten minutes." Shiro told him, and he could have done without the note of amusement in his voice. Jerk. "Remember, patience-"

"-yields focus, I know." Keith whined. "You only say that like, all the time."

Shiro just chuckled, setting down his tablet. "You're that excited to see them again, huh?"

Nodding his head, Keith beamed. "Last time was really fun!"

"Yeah?" Shiro asked.

"Yeah!" He said. "Matt promised the next time he came over, he would bring _his_ telescope over. _Mars_ , Shiro! I might be able to see Mars."

Shiro arched a brow. "I thought you could already see Mars."

Glaring at him, Keith fought the urge to pout. Shiro had given him that telescope as a gift, so he wasn't exactly about to complain about it. The existence of a better, cooler telescope did not nullify how much he loved the one Shiro had given him. "Not as well."

"Fair enough." Shiro said.

Shifting on his feet, Keith turned, staring out past the horizon. He had been scanning it for any sign of Sam's car, ever since Shiro had swung by half an hour ago. Draping himself back over the railing, he hung his arms down over it. Somehow ten minutes seemed like it would take _forever_.

"So," Keith began, after what had probably only been two minutes, "-when are they coming?"

Behind him, he sensed Shiro fight the urge to groan.

* * *

"Today," Matt began, beaming from ear to ear, "-we have a present!"

Blinking, Keith tilted his head in confusion. "A present?"

It wasn't even his birthday, and it certainly wasn't Christmas. It wasn't even the anniversary of the day they had met, which he knew people sometimes exchanged presents with each other on. This was only the fourth time Matt and Katie had come over to his place- he'd been keeping track.

"Yup!" Katie beamed, almost wider than her brother. "Dad was just gonna throw it away, but we thought maybe you might want it!"

A hand-me-down? Keith frowned. Sure, Sam had given him some of Matt's old clothes in the past, but he didn't exactly need more clothes, at least, not right now. Sure, he'd been growing a little over the course of the past few months, but he hadn't gotten quite tall enough yet to really require new clothes. Maybe in a month or two, but now?

"Now," Sam began, grunting a little from the effort of whatever it was he was trying to remove from the trunk, "-I don't know if this is going to work out here, but I figured we might as well try before I just toss it out on the curb. You'll probably at least be able to pick up a handful of local channels, even without cable."

That confused him even further- until Sam managed to drag the item in question from out of the back of his truck. He recognized what it was right away, though he'd never seen one himself before- a television!

Sam let out a long breath, setting it down in the sand, pausing to wipe his brow. "Oof. Heavier without Colleen around to help me carry it."

"Can I really have it?" Keith asked, looking up at him. "It looks expensive."

"We have to replace it anyways." Sam told him. "Color doesn't work anymore. I _could_ fix it, but this model's already several years old, so frankly, it's best just to get a new one at this point. But if that doesn't bother you...?"

"No," Keith shook his head, eyes wide, "-I want it!"

He'd never had a television before. He was a bit excited.

"Right," Sam nodded, "-just gotta get it inside and set it up."

"I can do it." Keith offered.

Sam frowned. "You sure?"

"Yup!" Nodding his head, Keith didn't wait for any objections. Easily scooping up the television, he beamed up at the old man. "See? It's light!"

Matt and Katie clapped, clearly impressed at his show of strength. He felt his cheeks heat up, ducking his head in an attempt to hide it. He never thought that anyone would praise him like that for his strength- he'd always just thought it was just another thing that made him a freak, even if it was useful out here.

Sam just blinked, before cracking a smile. He already knew how strong he was, he just didn't have many chances to observe it in action. "Guess this old man's just a bit on the weak side, then."

"We Holts only really need one big muscle anyways." Matt nodded sagely, even though no one had asked. "Of course, I mean the brain!"

"Except for mom." Katie added.

"Except for your mother, yes." Sam agreed.

"Your mom is strong?" Keith asked. He'd heard a few things about Colleen Holt- that she was a good cook, told the best bedtime stories, and worked as a librarian.

"Well, not _muscle_ strong," Matt began, "-she's _mom_ strong."

Keith frowned. He didn't know what that meant. _His_ mom was strong, but he didn't know if her strong and Colleen's strong were the same kind of strong. They felt different.

Of course, he'd never met Colleen Holt before... but well, he'd never met _his_ mother before either. Or at least, he couldn't remember her. He knew he must have had- he had already been a few months old when she had to leave, to go back to the space war.

"So, how about we set this up, see if we can't get it to work?" Sam spoke up. "After that, I brought over a batch of Colleen's cookies. I hope you like chocolate chip!"

Keith perked up. So that was the sweet smell he'd picked up on.

"Aw," Katie pouted, "-not peanut butter?"

"Not today, I'm afraid." Sam told her, ruffling her hair, letting out a chuckle at her pronounced pout.

"Shiro brought over some peanuts the last time he was here." Keith said. "You could have-"

He cut himself off- he couldn't not, not based on the face of utter disgust Katie was making. "...guess that's a no."

"Katie _hates_ peanuts." Matt supplied.

"They're so _dry_." She whined. "I don't know how peanut butter and peanut butter cookies end up tasting so good when their source material is so awful. There _has_ to be some kind of magic involved."

Hauling the television inside, he listened to the siblings debate the existence of magic. He refrained from commenting in favor of it- these might be his friends, and he might trust Sam, but his father had kept the blue lion hidden from the Garrison for a reason. Just knowing about it could potentially put them in danger, and the last thing he wanted was to put those he cared about in harm's way.

Besides, if the Galra ever _did_ end up coming to Earth, the less people who knew about the blue lion, the better. It wasn't like he _needed_ the help in protecting it anyways. He'd managed just fine on his own this far.

Besides... he kind of liked having his own secret. It made the blue lion even more special than she already was. He felt almost sad that one day, he'd have to share her with her chosen paladin.

Or even worse- lose her completely.

* * *

"You know, I've been wondering for awhile, but what's that?"

Lifting his head, Keith glanced in the direction Matt was pointing. Realizing what it was he was pointing at, he frowned. "It used to be my mother's. She left it for me."

"Yeah, but what is it?" Matt asked. "It looks like some kind of dagger or something."

"It's a knife." Keith told him. "It's supposed to be ceremonial, or something."

He didn't actually know much about it, if he was going to be honest. He knew that it cut through flesh and bone alike without difficulty, and that, like his mother, wasn't of this world. But he had no knowledge of the knife she had left him beyond that- not even what it was supposed to represent. His dad seemed to imply that it was connected to her group of rebels somehow, but he had never learned the specifics.

He suspected his father hadn't either.

"Your mom?" Katie asked. "Your _alien_ mom?"

Keith's frown deepened. "What other mom would I have?"

"Fair point." Matt admitted. "You don't talk about her a lot, though."

Keith just shrugged. "I don't really know her. She left not long after I was born."

Exchanging a look, the Holt siblings shared a mutual frown. He wondered at that- at that unspoken method of communication. He wondered if it were normal for siblings- not that he would ever know, being an only child.

He was kind of jealous.

"I- sorry." Matt apologized. "I guess you don't want to talk about it, huh?"

Sure, there was a part of him that missed his mom. There was even a nasty part of him that resented her for leaving him behind, though it was only just a small portion. He knew that when she left, she probably thought that he would be able to live a peaceful life as a human- she couldn't have known how things would have turned out in her absence.

Besides, she was right. Just based off what the blue lion had shown him, there was no way that the Galra Empire could ever be allowed to get their hands on the lion. It was bad enough that they had the red one- he had heard Blue mourn her sister before.

But his mom wasn't hard to talk about. He just didn't really _know_ her. What could he even say? Most of what he knew about her came from his dad's stories, some of which he suspected might have been at least a _little_ embellished, with that sort of fondness that naturally occurred when you spoke about someone you loved.

That was something he had only come to understand after meeting Shiro. When he had started to tell him stories about his dad, he had just sort of naturally understood.

So he just shook his head. "It's fine. There's just not a lot to say."

They sat in slightly awkward silence for a few minutes, before Katie glanced back up towards the knife. He followed her gaze, chewing on his lip for a few seconds, before he got to his feet. "Do- do you want to see it?"

"Can we?" Katie asked.

Nodding his head, Keith smiled. "Sure. But only Matt can hold it."

Katie glared at him. "Why only Matt?"

"Because it's a knife, and it's dangerous." Keith told her. "You can hold it when you're older."

Katie gave him a look like she'd hold him to that, and somehow, he didn't doubt she would. Her stubbornness was beyond compare.

...granted, he didn't have a whole lot to compare it to, but _he_ was pretty stubborn, and he was still pretty sure Katie was _way_ more stubborn than he was.

"Then heck yeah, I'd like to see it!" Matt told him. "I mean... it's an _alien knife_! That's so _cool_."

He gave them a weak smile, disguising it by going to get the knife. He hadn't told them anything about the Galra yet- he didn't _want_ to tell them. Maybe hiding things from his friends wasn't nice, but he didn't... he didn't want them to know.

He tried to convince himself that they wouldn't look at him any differently if they knew. Shiro didn't. But Shiro was special. So instead, he just resolved to keep it to himself.

"Here," he told Matt, holding out the knife to him, "-be careful. It's really sharp."

Matt nodded, carefully removing the sheath, holding the knife in his hands. He smiled a little as the siblings took in the glowing sigil, Katie poking at the mark like she expected it to do something- and was promptly a little disappointed when nothing happened. He couldn't help but wonder what she had thought it would do.

"Can you use it?" Matt asked, glancing up at him.

"Sort of." Keith told him. "Dad showed me how a few times. Mom was probably way better than either of us with it though."

He actually knew that for a fact. He had never forgotten what the blue lion had shown him- the memory of his mother so fiercely protecting her from the Galra scouts. She had been incredible, not only just with the knife, but even when it came to hand to hand. He had never felt more proud to have her as his mother.

"Can you show me?" Matt asked.

Frowning, Keith tilted his head, considering it. "Only if you're careful."

"I will be, I promise." Matt quickly assured him.

Cracking a faint smile, Keith nodded. "Then... I guess a few basic thrusts wouldn't hurt."

"Great!" Matt beamed. "Teach me, oh wise one."

Keith snorted. "For starters, you're holding it wrong."

He joined Katie in laughing as Matt scrambled to correct his grip. Somehow, he got the feeling that he wasn't exactly cut out for fighting, at least not with a blade. It was a good thing he probably would never have to. He and Katie could live normal lives, out among humans- while he was trapped here, for the rest of his life.

The sour thought stung, and he swallowed it down. No. That made it sound like he resented them for being able to have what he couldn't. He didn't. He was just... just a little jealous, maybe.

That was... that was fine, right?

* * *

Swallowing a bite of cake, Keith took advantage of his lack of visible pupils to scan the room without anyone noticing. The shack had always been small, but even when his father had been around, it had still felt spacious- but now, with five people crammed into it, himself included, it suddenly felt very, very small.

But it wasn't bad, he decided.

Not bad at all.

The final birthday card his father had given him still sat out in the open, but this time, it was surrounded by four others. For once, he didn't feel lonely at all.

* * *

"Keith? You around?"

Keith perked up at the sound of Sam's voice, lifting his head. He hadn't expected him to come around today, though he was pretty sure that Matt and Katie wouldn't be with him- today was a school day, after all.

"Back here!" He called out.

Sam rounded the corner a few moments later, lifting his brows once he realized what it was he doing. "That a hoverbike?"

Nodding his head, Keith smiled. "Used to be my dad's."

He hadn't touched it in years, not since his dad died. He didn't know what had prompted him to take the dusty cover off of it, long since discolored by age and exposure. He still went on rides with Shiro on his hoverbike sometimes, so maybe that was what it was- it had got him thinking about the one his father had left behind.

He guessed it was his, now. Not that he knew how to fly it. Which was wholly irrelevant, given the fact that it didn't even work. He didn't need to be a genius to figure out that lack of maintenance had done it in- a flimsy cover wasn't enough to protect it from the desert elements, not when it sat unused for years.

"Pretty nice model." Sam observed. "Looks almost custom. Mind if I take a look?"

Shaking his head, Keith took a step back. "It doesn't work anymore, though."

Twisting one of the handles, Sam made a faint hum. "You know, I'm pretty good with machines. They have me work on shuttles back at the Garrison."

Keith blinked. "I thought you were a teacher?"

"That I am." Sam told him. "I multi-task. Keeps me busy in my old age."

Made sense. He knew _he_ wasn't fond of having nothing to do. Maybe it was survival instinct, but it felt like if he didn't keep busy, terrible things would happen. Unless he was hunting, sitting still for too long just made him anxious- he could last about the length of a movie, before it got to be too much.

"Do you think you could fix it?" Keith blurted out.

He flinched. Why had he asked that? Sam already had a ton of things to do- periodically coming to visit him out in the desert was one thing, but fixing his dad's hoverbike for him? That sounded like it'd take _forever_.

Thankfully, Sam just smiled. "I just might. How about it? You want to try your hand at it?"

Keith blinked, pointing at himself. "Me?"

Sam just nodded. "You'll need to learn how to properly maintain it anyways, if you're going to use it."

 _Use it._ Keith blinked, then blinked again. He hadn't even thought about that. If they got it working again, could he learn to fly it? Excitement fluttered in his chest, mixed with apprehension. Right now, he could only go so far out into the desert- it wasn't an issue of stamina, it just didn't sound like a good idea to go more than a half day's walk away from the shack. If he had a hoverbike though, he could even further-

-and that was where the apprehension came in.

Because _even further_ involved the town.

It was a stupid thing to worry about. Him? Go into town? Yeah right. He wasn't that dumb. He knew what would happen if he did.

But it would make it possible, and that alone was cause enough to make him worry. He almost wanted to refuse outright, his fear was that powerful, but he fought it back, shoving it back into the dark corner from which it came from.

"I'd like that." Keith told him, and then, as an afterthought, "-if you have the time."

"Oh, I think I'll be able to make time." Sam promised him. "Not today, though. Today I just came over to give you these."

Oh, yeah. He'd been hiding one hand behind his back the entire time. With a smile, Sam held out a shoebox, and Keith felt himself grin. "They're already finished?"

True to his previous suspicion, he had shot up over the past month- he came up to around Shiro's chest now. It meant that everything he owned he had now outgrown, and while he was closer than he was before, his father's old clothes still didn't exactly fit him either. Thankfully, through a combination of hand-me-downs from Matt, and some new clothes, he'd been outfitted with a new wardrobe for a second time.

He felt kind of guilty about it- everyone kept giving him stuff, and he never had anything to give them back. Maybe he should ask the blue lion for some ideas.

"All done." Sam told him, nodding his head. "Try them on."

Taking the shoebox, Keith leaned against the hoverbike, tugging them on. They felt a bit funny, but they fit perfectly- Sam had been right, having ones that had been made to fit really did make a huge difference.

"How's the fit?" Sam asked.

Keith just gave him a blank look, causing the old man to chuckle. "Fair enough."

"Thanks." Keith told him. Part of him wanted to tell him that he didn't have to keep doing this, but he had long since given up on that line of thought. It never worked. All he could was accept the kindness and move on.

And maybe be super happy about it.

* * *

It turned out that fixing the hoverbike was a lot more work than he first thought. When Sam had opened up the chassis to take a look inside, it finally dawned on him where those missing parts from the scout ships had gone.

Leave it to his dad to modify his hoverbike using alien tech.

When Sam asked if he knew where he had gotten him, he'd just shaken his head. Maybe his mom had left them behind, he'd said. He wasn't ready to show anyone the ships just yet. Not when they looked so _evil_.

Sometimes he still made his way into the cave in which they were hidden. He'd moved a sizable boulder in place of the cave's entrance a month ago- he'd been planning to do it for a long time now, but it wasn't until he hit his growth spurt that he actually had the strength to move something that big, and even then, it was still a struggle. He'd left a gap at the top, that he could use to slip through.

Sometimes he'd just sit there for awhile, listening to the radio chatter. He still couldn't understand any of it, but he kind of liked hearing the voices. Even if the people he heard on the radio were bad, this was still his mother's native tongue- and as much as he wanted to divorce himself from the Galra, he couldn't deny that he was drawn to them at the same time.

But he was also human. He was starting to realize that more.

Alien parts or not, Sam got the hoverbike working again- and Shiro had promised to teach him to fly it. He'd already given him a few lessons by the time the hoverbike was fixed, so he had the basics down pretty well- or at least, he liked to _think_ he did. Shiro said he was a natural, and he'd glowed at the praise- even though it had kind of stung at the same time.

He'd never be able to fly, not like his dad had. Not like Shiro could. The hoverbike was the closest thing he'd ever get to actually becoming a pilot.

He'd heard Matt talk about joining the Garrison when he was old enough, and he was happy for him- but at the same time, he was kind of bitter that he didn't have that chance himself. They would never welcome him as a cadet- just treat him like a test subject.

But today wasn't a day to think about such negative things. Today was the big day- they were going to paint the hoverbike! Shiro and Sam had already hauled some paint over earlier, putting down the first coat, but the rest of it was up to him, Matt, and Katie. He'd never worked on a project like this with his friends before, so he'd been eager to get started since before the sun even rose.

He was excited- being able to restore his father's bike made it feel like he still had a piece of the man with him.

They even managed to almost finish before the paint war broke out. He... didn't actually recall all that well _how_ it had started, or even _who_ started it- other than the fact that it hadn't been him. He was pretty sure he'd remember if it had been him.

(Pretty sure.)

By the time they were done, red paint was everywhere- on their clothes, on their skin, even in their hair. Matt was the worst off- he and Katie had resolved their differences early on, and teamed up against their common enemy, the dreaded fully fledged teenager. Matt hadn't stood a chance.

He'd ended up practically _drenched_ in red paint. He'd ended up loaning Matt his shower, so he could wash the bulk of it off his body, but not before Katie had snapped a picture, forever immortalizing the event. She promised to print a copy and bring it over the next time she came.

(Matt had vowed to destroy it before she had the chance. He was putting his bets on Katie.)

Once they left, Shiro had helped him try and clean off the paint that had gotten on him. It came out of his hair easily- he didn't even know how it had gotten there, but there had been a fair amount of red paint in it.

It was only after, that he realized it wasn't coming off of his skin that easily. Shiro had scrubbed the red handprint Katie had left on his face until he was sore, and it still firmly stayed in place. He'd whined about it, fussing about how it was covering up the markings he had inherited from his mother, but he tried not to think about it too much.

It eventually came off anyways. But it had been a miserable two weeks before it finally did.

The blue lion hadn't helped. She _laughed_ at him. Guess there _was_ someone to make fun of him out in the desert after all.

But he'd kind of expected that. That was just the way the blue lion was- it was strange to think that an ancient war machine could have a sense of humor, but she did. What he understood less was the strange comment that she had made just when he was about ready to leave the cavern for the afternoon.

"By your fellow arm, no less."

He hadn't asked. He wasn't sure if he was even supposed to hear that.

* * *

"Hey, why don't you ever come to our place?"

Freezing, Keith tried not to look too much like a deer caught in headlights. He should have expected to be asked this at some point, and even though he thought the answer was fairly obvious, maybe to Katie, it wasn't. He knew that when he was her age, he had a less refined understanding of just what risks leaving the desert entailed.

"I can't." Keith frowned.

"You can't what?" Katie asked.

"Leave the desert." Keith finished. "It's dangerous."

Katie just stared at him for a long moment, all while he tried to avoid her gaze, twiddling his thumbs. When was Matt coming back? It felt like he had been in the bathroom for far too long already, and he didn't know how well he'd do with this line of questioning. Matt was older, and he probably understood why he couldn't leave.

He guessed it _was_ kind of unfair, when he thought about it. Matt and Katie had to come over to his place every time they wanted to play. It was never the other way around. He knew that was because it _couldn't_ be, but...

He wished again that he were normal. Then he could do things like a normal kid- even now that he had friends, he _still_ couldn't have a normal friendship. He didn't care if the Holt siblings thought him being part alien was cool, he suddenly couldn't help but wish he could be anything else.

"Who would hurt you?" Katie asked, simultaneously distressed that someone would and indignant that anyone would even try. He took some comfort in that.

Keith stared at his claws, curling them into the palm of his hands. "There's bad people out there, people who don't like people like me. That's who."

Katie just frowned, but at the very least, she seemed to accept it. As she moved on to another topic, he let out a sigh of relief. Maybe he wasn't normal, but at least with the Holts, he could sort of pretend he was, if only just for a little while.

Maybe it was pathetic. He was thirteen now, and the idea of leaving the desert still terrified him. He felt like it shouldn't. But here he was, paralyzed at the mere thought of leaving, even if he knew the Holts would never let any harm befall him.

Heck, Sam had probably saved his life.

"I wouldn't let them, you know." Katie suddenly said.

Blinking, Keith wondered what brought that on. "Let them do what?"

"The bad people," Katie frowned, suddenly serious as she could be, "-I wouldn't let them hurt you. They'd have to go through _me_ first."

Staring at her, he didn't now how to feel about that. On one hand, the mental image of someone as tiny as Katie trying to stand up to just about anyone was probably funnier than it should be- a fact which he would not mention to Katie, not if he wanted to live. But at the same time... touching as the sentiment was, he didn't want anyone to get hurt because of him.

His father had been enough.

"Thanks," Keith cracked a smile, though he didn't quite feel it, "-but I can protect myself."

Katie just puffed out her cheeks, indignant that he had turned down her offer. He laughed, and tried to bury his feelings deep down, where he didn't have to deal with them.

* * *

Everyone came over for his fourteenth birthday too.

The Holts brought another cake- one that had again been made by Sam's wife, Colleen. He'd never met her, but he felt kind of like he knew her, from the way they kept talking about her.

"She'd like to meet you, you know." Sam told him.

Keith just frowned. He wasn't against the idea, but the fact that Sam had never brought her to meet him seemed to imply that it couldn't be done here. "I-I don't know."

"Mom's nice!" Katie told him, in between shoveling cake into her mouth.

She and Matt were ten and fourteen now- he hadn't been able to celebrate either of their birthdays, which made him feel a bit guilty. They were _supposed_ to be friends, but he didn't have any presents to give them.

He had taken up caving, thinking maybe he could make something. Since there wasn't really much wood around here, he'd taken to doing it with stone. His knife could handle the material with ease, but the learning curve was high- he hadn't managed to make anything close to presentable yet. All his efforts had earned him were a few nicked fingers and the world's ugliest dog statue.

Maybe next year.

"And her cooking is the best." Matt added, voice breaking him from his thoughts.

"She does make good cakes." Keith admitted. "Better than the ones Shiro used to bring."

"Hey!" Shiro protested.

Keith just shrugged, giving him an impish grin. Maybe Katie had been rubbing off on him a little.

"You know, you could always join us for Thanksgiving. Colleen would be more than happy to have you." Sam suggested. "Shiro could come too, if he wanted."

Shiro gave him an easy grin. "I'd love to."

Chewing on his lip, Keith shook his head. "I don't know. I don't think it's a good idea."

Sam and Shiro exchanged a glance, but thankfully, the subject was dropped. He breathed a sigh of relief, glad when the subject changed- Shiro was telling them all about what had happened on has last trip to Mars, to deliver supplies to the research colony there. He'd already heard the story, but it was pretty funny, so he didn't mind hearing it again.

The thought lingered in the back of his mind, though.

* * *

"You should go."

Keith flinched, staring up at the blue lion. He thought she would have agreed with him, said that he was making the right choice, that it was too dangerous to leave the desert.

"But-!"

The blue lion's tail flicked, staring at him with intensely yellow eyes. "You will be safe."

Keith frowned, his brow furrowing together. If the blue lion said so, he wanted to believe her, but...

"You will never get past this fear if you do not at least try."

Clenching his fists, Keith stared down at his feet. He knew she was right. He couldn't let this fear define the rest of his life. There had to be something more for him out there than just the desert, even if he was perfectly happy here.

Except for all the times he had just been exceedingly lonely instead. People came and went, but nobody stayed. Just him- him and the blue lion, but even she would probably leave this place one day, when her chosen paladin was inevitably drawn to her.

"What if someone sees me?" Keith asked. "What if something bad happens?"

"Do you trust the Holts?"

"Of course!" Keith agreed.

"Shiro?"

"Of course I do!" Keith replied, more fervently this time. He trusted Shiro most of all!

"Then you will be safe."

Keith just frowned, still not fully convinced. The blue lion knew a lot of things- sometimes she even knew things before they happened. Her siblings would tell her things, though they were separated by a distance that was frankly unimaginable to him, and through them, she would _Know_.

Drawing in a deep breath, Keith squared his shoulders. If the blue lion told him he would be safe, he should just trust her. She had never once lead him astray.

"Okay," he said, "-okay. I'll try."


	5. colleen

New chapter time! While writing this, I realized that this story was going to need an extra chapter after all, so the total number of planned chapters has gone up from seven to eight! So look forward to that, I guess! In the meantime, please enjoy this latest installment, hot off the presses!

* * *

 **desert raised**

 **colleen**

* * *

He numbly let Matt lead him to the bathroom.

When they had first set out, he'd been nervous. Nervous, and curious. He kept chancing looks out the window whenever he could, whenever he thought it was safe to do so. The closer they drew to town, however, the more his nerves outweighed his curiosity. He thought about maybe asking Shiro to take him back, but by that time, they were pretty much already there.

It was fine. He could do this. It would be fine.

The blue lion had promised him that, and he didn't think she would lie to him.

He sort of brushed through his introduction to Sam's wife. He could barely even recall the details of her face, but he knew that she had shaken his hand- his clawed, purple hand. She hadn't said a word about it.

That... made him feel a little better. Not by much, but it did.

He gave Matt a weak smile before ducking into the bathroom. The smaller space instantly put him at ease, even if the small guest bathroom he had been lead to was still probably twice the size of the one back at home. It had never dawned on him just how _cramped_ the shack was until now. Everything in the Holt house felt too big, and he'd only been there for like, two minutes, tops.

Exhaling, Keith let his shoulders slump. Part of him still wanted to go back home, but that felt like it would be giving up. So instead, he turned to face the mirror, finally lowering his hood now that he was safely inside. Meeting his reflection, he blinked, instantly noticing that something was amiss, but not placing what it was right away.

Realizing what it was just made his thoughts grind to a complete halt. He was pretty sure he let out some noise of surprise. He must have, since Matt flung the door open in concern.

He had _pupils_.

Ignoring Matt, he leaned closer to the mirror, tugging at the corner of one eye. There was a mirror at the shack, so he knew what he looked like- so he knew he didn't have pupils. His eyes were supposed to be one solid color- yellow, just like the blue lion's. He just assumed that was how they were meant to be. His mom had pupils, but the Galra scouts that she'd fought with hadn't.

Somehow, in the space between leaving the shack and coming to the Holts, that had changed.

In the ensuing fuss, he learned that it probably wasn't so much that he'd suddenly developed pupils, as it was they'd just been hidden all this time. Something about a third eyelid. It... made sense, he thought. He was never bothered by even the worst sandstorms. As long as he covered his nose and mouth during them, he didn't need to worry. It had just never occurred to him to question _why_ that was.

It took him awhile to leave the guest restroom. He must have spent a solid twenty minutes in there, staring at his own eyes, fascinated by the blue-violet irises that had appeared after what had to have been nearly twelve years of being hidden. They looked like his mother's eyes, and that was a thought that made him smile.

He looked like his mother.

He liked that thought.

Speaking of mothers, he quickly learned that Colleen Holt was just as warm and kind as her children had described her to be. In the weeks leading up to his visit, Katie and Matt had each tried to describe their mother to him the best they could- though he suspected they were probably trying to paint the most flattering picture of her possible, because Katie didn't so much as even try to gripe about some of her so-called unfair punishments.

(He was using _so-called_ because he was pretty sure that they were relatively justified, based on what Matt would supply him with later, but he'd never say that out loud to Katie. Not if he wanted to endure her wrath, which he did not.)

But honestly? They didn't even need to try to paint a flattering picture, because the reality was that Colleen Holt was everything they told him she was. Here he was, a strange, purple half-alien scrap of a kid that her children had befriended, one who lived in the middle of the desert in complete isolation, and she was already set at making him feel right at home.

He just wished it helped with his nerves more. He felt kind of bad, really- she was making such an effort to get him to relax, but he just _couldn't_.

The house was just too big, and it was just too public. Even with the curtains drawn and the door, he swore he could still feel the prying eyes of their neighbors. What if someone had noticed he was purple? What if the Garrison was being called right now? Or the cops? Or the FBI?

Oh god, what if someone was calling all three?

No. No, probably not. It was just his imagination. That was all. He'd be _fine_.

"Keith?" Colleen asked, catching sight of him hanging awkwardly in the background while Matt and Katie helped her in the kitchen. Sam had recruited Shiro's help in retrieving the good tablecloth from up in the attic, and he found himself wishing he'd hurry back.

Looking up at Colleen, Keith chewed on his lip. "Yeah?"

"Think you can help me set the table?" Colleen asked.

Opening his mouth to say he'd never really done something like that before, he quickly closed it. They had invited him over to their house, the least he could was try to help out. So instead, he just nodded, idly fiddling with his sleeves.

Colleen just smiled warmly at him. "If you have any questions, just ask."

Oh. He guessed moms could also read minds. That still seemed unfair.

Nodding, he managed to give her a weak smile. "Um, what do you want me to do first?"

"Well, for now, just take those dishes out and set them on the sideboard." Colleen told him. "When Shiro gets the tablecloth in place, the nice placemats are in that drawer there."

Checking where she had pointed, Keith was relieved to see that there was literally only one type of placemat in the drawer. Great. No way he could get confused. He'd never used a placemat in his life, but he was pretty confident he couldn't screw up this part, at least.

Ugh. He'd never really thought about it before, but he was basically a hermit, wasn't he? Fourteen felt _way_ too young to be classified as a hermit.

Grabbing the plates, he carried them with care to the dining room, putting them exactly where she'd told him to set them. Not a minute later, Shiro and Sam returned to the room, the former carrying a large bundle of lacy white fabric in his arms.

Spotting him, Shiro gave him a quick grin. "Giving Colleen a hand?"

Nodding, Keith returned his smile with one of his own- a bit more confident. "She's having me set the table."

"Big job." Shiro said.

Rolling his eyes, Keith just snorted. "I'm not a baby, Shiro."

Shiro just arched his brows, his smile growing more amused. "Never said you were. Why don't you help me with this?"

Nodding again, Keith helped him unbundle the tablecloth, careful of his claws. It looked delicate, and he didn't want to tear it. That was the definite downside of having claws- they were great at ripping and shredding, and not so great for delicate tasks.

Maybe the Galra were never meant to be _domestic_.

He must have looked a bit down, because Shiro stopped him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You okay?"

Swallowing, he caught himself nodding again. He didn't mean to be this non-verbal, but the shock of seeing himself with pupils had caused the numbness to wear off and his nerves to come back. He couldn't exactly help it.

Shiro frowned, but eventually just gave his shoulder a light squeeze. "Okay. Just remember that we can leave anytime you want. It won't bother anyone at all."

He started to nod again, but caught himself this time. "I'll keep that in mind. Thanks."

Shiro just ruffled his hair. "Now go on. You've got a table to set, right?"

Somehow he managed to get through his assigned chore, though it had taken him more tries than he wanted to admit to. He didn't see why they even _needed_ more than one type of fork, but he guessed that was just how normal people operated. By the time he was finally done, dinner was pretty much ready.

It was also more food than he'd ever seen in one place in his life.

He felt his stomach growl on instinct. He'd spent four years living only off of what he could catch- even if that had steadily begun to change after meeting Shiro, seeing this much food in one place was kind of overwhelming. It was all he could do to contain himself, taking what he thought was the bare minimum- until he understood that nobody else was holding themselves back, so why should he?

They'd invited him. Obviously they wanted him to eat their food.

Which, by the way, was _delicious_. Colleen was a fantastic cook. It made him wonder about his own mother- if she knew how to cook. He couldn't come up with a clear answer. He knew the Galra were a very militaristic society, but that didn't necessarily preclude cooking, did it?

Maybe he could ask Blue later. She might know. Maybe not specifically about his _mom_ , but about the Galra and cooking at least.

By the time dessert rolled around, he realized the worst of his nerves had faded. He still felt out of place, but not to the degree that it made him anxious. He felt a little less like an alien, and a little more like a normal human, who just happened to be visiting somewhere for the first time.

He actually felt like he might be able to come back.

But he was getting ahead of himself. The Holts might not want him back. Just getting him here was a huge hassle, so he could understand if this was maybe just a one time thing. That was fine. Tonight he'd gotten the chance to feel almost human for a change, almost _normal_ \- he really couldn't ask for anything more.

"Well," Sam began, once dessert was cleared away, "-that was simply delightful. You truly outdid yourself this time, Colleen."

"Well, I did have two new guests to impress." Colleen teased.

He felt himself flush. He'd been impressed the first time Shiro had brought over microwavable mac and cheese, so he knew it didn't take much. He was pretty confident his taste buds were a lost cause, but he didn't have the heart to tell Colleen that.

Or _Shiro_ , for that matter. He hadn't been lying about eggs being the only thing he could make. Since he'd started to visit him out in the desert, he'd begun to expand his repertoire, and if the stained copies of recipes he'd printed out from the Internet were any indication, that took quite a bit of effort on his part.

"Sam's right." Shiro said. "It was wonderful. Thank you again for inviting us, Colleen."

Keith caught himself nodding again. "It was good, thanks."

Colleen smiled. "I'm glad to hear you both enjoyed it. How about it? Are you interested in coming over for Christmas dinner next month?"

Keith blinked, looking up at Colleen in surprise. She sounded serious.

Shiro just looked in his direction. "What do you think, Keith?"

Chewing on his lip, he considered it. It had been so much trouble for Sam to get him out here, and he still caught himself glancing towards the windows even now that he'd relaxed considerably. But then he caught sight of Matt and Katie's beaming faces, and he felt something in him ease.

Oh. It was okay for him to be here.

"Yeah," Keith told her, smiling properly this time, "-I'd like that."

* * *

 _Baking_ was an alien concept to Keith.

And yet, here he was, in Colleen Holt's kitchen, wearing an apron, a mixing bowl in his clawed hands. Katie was standing next to him, also wearing an apron, but Matt had somehow managed to escape cookie making duty- something about helping Sam locate a problem bulb on their string of outdoor lights.

He'd never felt more out of place.

Normally that would be enough to make him automatically exit the situation, but strangely, this time he didn't feel the urge to. Maybe it was just the promise of freshly baked cookies. Maybe it was because feeling included like this was something he'd missed more than he'd anticipated.

Either way, here he was, trying to learn the right way to mix dough. He'd naively thought it would be easy. He was so, so wrong.

"Baking," Colleen began, when he'd complained about it being harder than he'd thought, "-is a science."

Katie leaned over, beaming at him. "She likes making this speech."

And so she did. He listened to Colleen go on about exact measurements and proper temperatures for nearly thirty minutes. By the end of the speech, his head was crammed full with information about baking he never knew he needed and kind of doubted he would ever use again.

Still, it was nice.

They quickly determined he definitely wasn't suited to kneading the dough- his claws kept getting in the way. Instead he spent the time organizing the cookie cutters that Katie had dumped all over the counter, picking out the ones fit for Christmas. Matt joined them just in time to help them decorate, and ended up having the neatest looking cookies- Katie's were just a mess of edible glitter, and his just looked, well... they tasted good, at least. That was the most important thing.

Sitting in the kitchen, eating Christmas cookies was nice. He'd offered to help Colleen clean up, but she'd shuffled him off to the table with her kids instead.

"I'm telling you," Matt said, "-the entrance exam for engineers is _brutal_."

Keith cracked a smile. He knew that Matt was aiming to join the Galaxy Garrison in the spring. "I'd offer to help you study, but..."

"Hey, it's okay." Matt told him. "Sometimes even I don't know what it is that I'm studying anymore."

"I bet _I_ could help." Katie grinned, biting the head off one of the Santa Claus cookies that Matt had painstakingly decorated. "When I'm old enough to join the Garrison, I'm going to make you and dad look stupid."

"She has you there." Keith said.

"Ugh, I hate that you're right." Matt groaned. "Katie, who let you be so smart?"

"Me." Katie responded, appropriately smug. "I did."

Placing his hands over his heart, Matt heaved a dramatic sigh. "As your brother, I'm proud, but as someone who is several years older than you, it pains me."

Katie just rolled her eyes. "Shut up and eat your cookies nerd, before Keith eats them all."

Keith froze, in the middle of grabbing another cookie. Slowly retracting it, he felt his cheeks heat up. Okay, so _maybe_ over the course of this conversation he'd eaten eight cookies to their three, but give him a break- sweet things were an indulgence for him.

"I won't eat them _all_ ," he told them finally, "-I'd save some for Shiro."

"But you'll eat the rest, huh?" Katie observed.

Keith just frowned. "Hey, I helped make them."

"Mom!" Katie called out, leaning back in her chair. "Keith's trying to eat all the cookies!"

"Keith, save some for the rest of us!" Colleen called out.

Keith glared at Katie, who merely gave him an impish grin in return, no regret for her actions in sight. It was the first time in his life he'd been tattled on, and it was over _cookies_. Unbelievable.

"I guess aliens have sweet tooths." Matt joked. "Who would have guessed?"

Keith just rolled his eyes, folding his arms in front of his chest, since he had apparently been forbidden from eating anymore cookies. "It's not an alien thing."

"I mean, it could be." Matt said. "We have no way of knowing."

Opening his mouth to say something, he just shut it instead. Okay, fine, he had a point there. He knew essentially only the bare minimum about his own alien heritage. It wasn't like he'd ever met another Galra- which actually was a _good_ thing, but still.

"Look," Keith began, "-can we just talk about something else?"

Matt frowned, but just shrugged. "Sure, no problem. What did you want to talk about?"

He fought the urge to heave a sigh of relief. He didn't mind the occasional joke, but the less they talked about the Galra, the better. He didn't want Matt and Katie to know about them, afraid how it might affect their opinion of him. He had finally found friends- he didn't want to lose them just because he had the misfortune to be half-Galra.

He could feel human all he wanted. It just didn't change the fact that wasn't. Not fully. He never would be.

He just had to accept that.

* * *

Matt got into the Garrison that spring.

He was happy for him, really. He was. But seeing him in his cadet uniform, beaming with pride... something ugly reared up in him just the same.

Jealousy. He was _jealous_ of Matt. His friend. His _best_ friend.

Shiro had assured him that was normal, that it was nothing to worry about, but he couldn't help _but_ worry about it. He told him that so long as he didn't end up resenting him because of it, as long as he didn't let it take control of him, it would be fine. He wanted to believe him, but the feeling was so ugly and bitter, that he had a hard time imagining it was true.

"Shiro says it's fine, but what if he's wrong?"

The blue lion merely watched him from her perch. She had manifested again, a thing that had been growing steadily rarer. He wondered if it was something he should worry about, but he could never bring himself to ask. The blue lion had been his sole companion for so long, that even though he had other people in his life- actual humans, at that- he still didn't want to lose her.

 _Do you think he is wrong?_

Keith came to a halt, looking up at the blue lion's manifestation. Biting down on his lip, he shook his head. No. He didn't really think Shiro was wrong, he just- he just couldn't stop himself.

"I guess... I guess I'm just afraid." Keith said. "What if it _does_ take over? What if I get so bitter that we end up fighting? What if-?"

The blue lion vanished from her perch, reappearing close to him. He could faintly feel the phantom sensation of her rubbing against his torso, soft and reassuring. It always calmed him down, and now was no exception. Letting out a long breath, he let his shoulders slump, idly stroking the blue lion's head. She wasn't as solid as she had been in the past, and that was a concern too.

But she never said anything, so maybe it didn't mean anything bad. Maybe it just meant he was growing up. Or maybe it meant her paladin was close. Not here yet, but close.

 _You are afraid you'll hurt your friend._

Keith just nodded. He thought the closer he got to Matt and Katie, the more that fear would go away. If anything, it had just gotten worse.

 _You are a good person_ , the blue lion assured him, - _this will not happen_.

Keith just frowned, unconvinced. "I'm still Galra."

 _So is your mother_ , the blue lion pointed out, - _but would you say that your friends should be afraid of her merely because of what blood she carries_?

Keith shook his head. "No."

Of course not. His mother was fighting _for_ the freedom of the universe, not trying to conquer it. She was a hero.

The blue lion looked at him in consideration. _Would you like to see what the Galra were like before the war?_

Keith perked up at that. Up until now, the blue lion had been hesitant to dive too deeply into that time period. He thought it was because the betrayal ran too deep. She had told him how the eldest among them had once been piloted by a Galra- _Emperor Zarkon_ , no less. How her eldest brother still carried the pain from that to this day.

He didn't know much about the Galra before the war. Almost nothing, in fact.

He wanted to know.

"Yes." Keith said. "Please."

He swore the blue lion smiled. He lost track of time, sitting around in her cavern, watching scenes of a world from over ten-thousand years ago. Of the Galra, before everything fell apart. Before the war began.

By the end, he felt lighter. They hadn't always been fiendish conquerors. It wasn't something that was in the blood. Maybe there was still hope for him yet.

* * *

He showed Shiro the scout ships.

He still came back. Nothing changed. Only he felt more at ease. He was Galra, like his mother. And that was... that was okay. It wasn't perfect. It wasn't _good_. It was just okay.

He still chose not to tell Matt and Katie anything. They didn't need to know. Not yet. Maybe one day, when they were all adults, he'd tell them. Maybe he'd show them the ships. Maybe they could work on fixing them together.

Maybe. He didn't know. The future wasn't something he ever tried to dwell on.

But it would be nice if they could.

* * *

This must, he thought, be what a deer in headlights felt like.

He hadn't expected anything or any _one_ to be waiting for him when he returned to the shack. He'd already had his birthday festivities a month prior, on his actual fifteenth birthday. The only reason he had gotten his present from Shiro so late was because it hadn't been a physical thing, so much as it had been an _experience_.

The chance to fly the simulator.

Shiro had been planning it for months, from the sound of it, working together with Sam and Matt. Over the Thanksgiving break, they had snuck him into the Galaxy Garrison, and had given him free reign in the simulator that the cadets used for practice- one of the big, three person ones that they flew as a team.

It had been _exhilarating_.

So needless to say, he hadn't expected anyone to be waiting for him at the shack. He definitely hadn't expected Colleen and Katie to jump out with party crackers, shouting _surprise_ as they launched colorful bits of confetti into the air.

The only thing that had kept him from reaching for his knife out of instinct was their familiar scent. Once he realized who it was, he felt himself relax, though it didn't change the fact that he was beyond confused.

"Uh," Keith blinked, slowly finding his voice, "-what's...?"

"We decided to bring Thanksgiving to you this year!" Katie beamed. "Mom and I have been setting it all up while you goofed around in the simulator with Matt."

"We wanted it to be a surprise." Colleen told him.

Well, it was definitely that. Peering behind her, he couldn't recall the last time his humble shack had felt so _homey_ , if ever. It always felt like home, but this was... the impromptu expanded table should have made the shack look even more cramped, but somehow, it just made everything look more roomy.

"I actually didn't know about this either." Shiro admitted. "Sam, did you...?"

He didn't need to look back to know that he'd known. He found out later that the Holts had been planning it the entire time, ever since Shiro had approached Sam with his idea for a gift. He also found out later that the whole thing had been Colleen's idea.

He found her on the porch after dinner. Since she and Katie had set everything up, it was Sam, Matt, and Shiro's job to clean. He'd been forbidden to help, even though it was his own house. He'd huffed about it, and had promptly been exiled onto the porch.

"Get kicked out?" Colleen asked.

Keith just folded his arms in front of him, sitting on the railing. "It's _my_ house."

Colleen just chuckled. "Maybe, but today you're the guest of honor."

Keith flushed at that, staring down at his feet. Today had been... he couldn't even put it into words. Being able to fly the simulator, coming back to the shack to find people waiting for him... he couldn't describe it.

It made him feel _normal_. Made him feel like he was part of a _family_.

He knew he wasn't normal. He had accepted that. Or well... he was trying to. Sometimes it could be pretty hard. But today... today he couldn't bring himself to care.

Today had been _fun_.

He didn't want today to end. But he knew it would have to. The Holts would go back home. Shiro would linger for a little while longer, but he'd eventually go back to his apartment too.

And he'd be left alone.

It must have shown on his face, because Colleen frowned. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Keith said quickly, "-I'm fine, it's just..."

"It wasn't too much, was it?" Colleen asked. "If this was too overwhelming..."

"No!" Keith blurted out, shaking his head. "No, this was... this was good. It was fun. I enjoyed it. Thank you."

Sure, it had been a little overwhelming, but in a good way. During those four years of isolation, he never could have even dreamt of something like this. If this was a dream, then frankly, he'd be okay with never waking up.

Colleen tilted her head, carefully studying him. "You're sure?"

"I'm sure." Keith assured her. "I mean it. Thank you. Not just for this, but for... for everything."

Colleen just smiled. "You're Matt and Katie's best friend, after all."

Keith blinked, staring at her with wide eyes. Sure, he knew they were _friends_ \- he never doubted that. And yeah, he thought of them both as _his_ best friend, but...

" _I'm_ their best friend?" Keith asked. That didn't sound right. They had to have other friends. Better friends, friends who they could hang out with like normal kids.

"Of course." Colleen said, like it was the most natural thing in the world. "Why wouldn't you be?"

Keith shut his mouth. He didn't have an answer to that. "I just... I just thought... I don't know. I thought they might want a best friend that's a little more accessible."

Colleen just snorted at that. "Trust me, that's never been an issue for them. And you know, you're always welcome to come and visit anytime, Keith. Even spend the night, if you like."

Oh. Right. He'd only gone back to the Holt's place twice since the first time- once for Christmas, and again for Katie's birthday. He hadn't considered spending the night there. When Shiro had brought it up when they had been planning for that first Thanksgiving, he'd rejected the idea.

Now? Now he wasn't so sure.

He still didn't feel totally safe about leaving the shack. But after today... he wouldn't have been able to get that experience if he hadn't taken a chance and left. Maybe piloting an actual ship was out of his reach, but just being able to fly the simulator was an experience like no other. He'd probably never forget this day.

Swallowing, Keith slowly nodded his head. "I think... I think I might like that."

Colleen's smile grew. "Glad to hear it."

He knew she meant it.

It dawned on him them that even if he could never truly be normal, he at least had a family. An odd, totally not normal family- but it was still a family. _His_ family.

So even if today ended, even if everyone went home... he'd never truly be alone.

It was the best possible feeling.


	6. family

Here's the latest chapter! I meant to get this up yesterday, but it just didn't happen. But it's here now! I had to go out and buy a new mouse today even though I just bought a new one like, two months ago, but I guess that's what I get for buying the cheapest mouse I could find. Have you ever had a scroll wheel that sent you up even when you were scrolling down? It's super annoying.

Anyways, as always, thanks for reading!

* * *

 **desert raised**

 **family**

* * *

He winced, sucking on his finger. Purple-red blood welled up from where he had nicked it, forcing him to set down his work and grab a band-aid. The blue lion rumbled faintly with concern, but he brushed it off.

"Just a little cut."

Satisfied with that, the blue lion resumed watching him. In the dim light of her cavern, Keith sat crosslegged, his knife in one hand, and a rock in another. Christmas was fast approaching, and this year, he was determined to have something to give everyone.

He'd be spending the night at the Holt's this year. The idea still filled him with no small amount of apprehension, but it was less than it had been in the past few years. Yeah, he'd be leaving the shack, but it would be fine. No harm would come to him at the Holt's. They wouldn't let it. He knew that.

If he was worried about anything, he was worried about the shack. He had never been gone from it for that long- and he knew it was absurd to think that it would just suddenly collapse overnight, given the fact that it had been standing for longer than he had been alive, but still. It was his home, tiny and isolated as it was.

It was cramped, run down- and filled with irreplaceable memories.

Steadily, the rock began to take shape under his hands. It wasn't perfect, but at least it looked like what he was actually aiming for this time. Staring down at it with a pleased smile, he nearly flinched when the blue lion suddenly appeared beside him, her manifestation studying the carved rock in his hands.

 _A lion?_

Keith gave her a sheepish smile. "It was kind of all I could think of."

The blue lion rumbled, light and curious. _Who is it for?_

"I was thinking of making one for everyone." Keith said, turning over the lion in his hands. "I think I'll keep this one, though. Test run, I guess."

He didn't mention the fact that there were others, back at the shack, that had turned out less well. That this was the first one that he had carved that actually looked anything remotely like a lion. Some of his earlier attempts were just better left unmentioned.

The blue lion purred, soft and low. _Will you paint it?_

Keith frowned. He did have some leftover paint, both from when they had painted his hoverbike, and back from the days before his father died, although that was probably all dried out by now. Still, he could probably salvage it if he tried. "I don't know. I wasn't thinking about that."

Looking up at the blue lion, he tilted his head. "Why?"

 _It would be good with some color_ , the blue lion merely replied, _perhaps some red_.

Huh, yeah. He guessed he could try that. He had plenty of red paint leftover. Turning the small lion over in his hands, Keith faintly smiled. "You sure it shouldn't be purple?"

 _No_ , the blue lion purred, _red_.

He blinked, meaning to question the blue lion about that, but her manifestation vanished. Staring up at the lion itself, Keith frowned, wondering why she had sounded so insistent. He shook his head. It was probably nothing. Besides, she was right- red was his favorite color, so why not paint it red?

It was only when she later suggested that Shiro's be black, and Katie's be green, that he began to wonder. But each time he tried to ask, she disappeared, and refused to speak to him for the remainder of the day. Eventually, he learned not to.

If she wanted to be cryptic, he'd let her. If it was important, she'd tell him eventually.

* * *

The first thing he realized upon waking up, was that he wasn't at the shack.

The thought was nearly enough to cause him to panic- for about two seconds, after which he promptly recalled just where he was, and how he had ended up here. Heaving a sigh, he closed his eyes again, content to curl back up under the covers. This was _way_ too comfortable to be just a guest bed.

Then he jolted awake, his eyes wide.

That was right. It was Christmas.

Throwing off the covers, Keith nearly jumped out of bed. A quick glance at the alarm clock told him he'd slept later than he usually did- maybe it was the subconscious knowledge that breakfast would be provided for him for once that allowed him to sleep for longer. It surprised him- he was too used to waking up early, to making his own meals. Shiro would sometimes come over early in the morning, but nobody had ever spent the night at the shack, so breakfast was the one meal no one else was ever around for.

Heading into the hallway, he tried to remember where the bathroom was. Matt and Katie had took him on the grand tour the first time he visited, that Thanksgiving years ago, but he'd rarely gone up to the second floor since then, so his memory was a little blurry. He didn't need to try hard to recall, because he spotted Matt's mop of brown hair waiting outside the door, the bespectacled teen lifting his head to grin at him.

"Hey there, sleepyhead." Matt teased. "Nice bedhead."

Keith frowned, unconsciously tugging at his forelock. Was it that bad?

Matt just snorted. "I'm kidding. It's fine. You just get up?"

Keith nodded, making his way down the hall. "Yeah. Where's Katie?"

"Bathroom dibs." Matt told him- and he could faintly hear the sound of someone showering inside. "I'm second in line. Probably will take Katie another hundred years to finish her shower. If you want to use the toilet, you _might_ want to snag the one in the guest bathroom downstairs."

Keith just snorted. He hadn't pictured Katie as a shower hog, but that could just be Matt blowing things out of proportion. "I might, thanks. Has Shiro...?"

"Come by yet?" Matt asked. "Please, it's _Shiro_. He's not going to come visit until he's sure everyone has had a chance to clean up and prepare. He's got _decorum_."

Keith arched a brow. "I'm not sure that's how you use that word."

"Good thing the grammar police aren't here to stop me." Matt said, sounding strangely smug about it. A few years ago, and it might have actually convinced him that the grammar police were _real_ , which was embarrassing to admit, and he vowed never to say as much out loud. "Anyways, that's enough about your dad. You sleep okay?"

"Shiro's not my dad." Keith lightly protested, but otherwise brushed the comment off. "And yeah, I slept fine. Thanks for... thanks for having me over, by the way."

"You said that like five times yesterday." Matt pointed out. "But it's cool. I'm glad you agreed to sleep over. Maybe we can do this again next Christmas?"

He nearly opened up his mouth to say he'd think about it, before he quickly shut it. The Holts had opened up their home to him, not just this time, but multiple times before it. He was grateful for that, but he didn't want to intrude, or risk overstaying his welcome...

...and then he shook that thought off. The reason they had opened their home to him was because he was Matt and Katie's friend. Their _best_ friend. If they had been the one to make the invitation, then he wasn't intruding. He was welcome here, as many times as he wished. And he would _keep_ being welcome here.

In that case, was there really any reason to refuse?

"Yeah," he smiled, "-sounds great."

* * *

"Okay," Shiro began, "-this time you'll be on your own. You think you can handle it?"

Keith just gave Shiro a cheeky grin, tugging off his gauze mask. "I think I can manage."

He'd been pretty surprised when Shiro had approached him about sneaking into the Garrison a second time. He knew that he'd promised to try and get him into the simulators again, but he hadn't expected it to be so _soon_.

Maybe not _that_ soon, granted- it had been fall when Shiro had sneaked him in the first time, and it was now spring of the next year. Still, it seemed like a pretty short amount of time to him, especially since he thought he was talking about his next birthday. But no- Shiro had shown up at the shack bright and early that morning, asking him if he wanted to go try the simulators today. Most of the cadets and teachers alike had gone home for the spring holiday, and while there were still plenty of personnel elsewhere on the base, the campus itself was almost empty.

Shiro must have been planning this for awhile. He'd gotten special permission to use the room- not the big, group simulator that they had used before, but the smaller ones, meant for a solo pilot and a solo flight.

Keith was almost brimming with anticipation.

These were _fighter_ planes. They were nothing like the cargo vessel from the last sim. These could go _fast_ \- or at least, they could accurately replicate the feeling of going fast. Shiro still hadn't given him total blanket permission to take his hoverbike out on his own, but sometimes he would sneak out, ride it out into the desert as far as he dared, trying to see how fast it could go.

The answer was very- just not fast _enough_ for him. He yearned for something more- something faster. He didn't know what. He just knew that whatever it was, it was missing from his life, like an itch that he knew of, but couldn't manage to scratch.

Shiro just shrugged, taking a step back. "Okay. We'll start with an easy run to let you get a feel for the controls."

He pouted, and Shiro just chuckled. "Just to be on the safe side. Once I'm sure you've got the hang of them, we can take it up a notch."

Narrowing his eyes, Keith just stared at Shiro. _Just_ a notch?

"A _few_ notches." Shiro corrected, the edge of his lips curling into a smile. "Knowing you, that probably won't take long."

"Just watch," Keith grinned, "-I'll prove it on the first try."

Shiro's smile just grew, equal parts indulgent and proud. It made something bubble up inside his chest, a feeling that he wanted to hold onto forever. "I'll hold you to that. Who knows? Maybe you'll even break my old cadet record."

"Just watch, old timer." Keith's teased. "I'll blow your record right out of the water."

"Somehow I don't doubt that." Shiro said with a laugh. "I'm going to close the hatch. Remember, I'll have the screen that monitors the interior of your simulator switched off as precaution. If you need something, you'll have to tell me."

Keith gave him a curt nod. "Got it."

"Good. Remember to buckle in." Shiro reminded him, and he pretended to grumble. "Have fun, kiddo."

Taking in a deep breath, he watched as Shiro sealed the hatch of the simulator, briefly plunging it into darkness. It quickly lit up, its systems operational, but still on standby. He slid into the seat, buckling up before resting his hands on the controls, gripping them tight. Maybe it was just a simulator, but for him, this was the closest he could come to his dream of being a pilot.

He wasn't stupid. He knew it couldn't happen. Maybe when he was still really little, he didn't, but he was older now- he had no illusions that it would ever happen.

But a dream was a dream. Some people went their whole lives without accomplishing theirs, even though they had infinitely more opportunities than him. So what was wrong with holding on to a dream that he knew he couldn't fulfill? At least he was closer to reaching it than he was before, even if he was only just barely brushing it with the tips of his fingers.

For a moment, he wondered what it would have been like, if his appearance hadn't changed. If he had remained that pale skinned human boy from the photograph Shiro had found. Would he be a cadet at the Garrison right now? Or would he have found something else that he wanted to do?

He didn't know. He _couldn't_ know. He couldn't, so he didn't see any point on dwelling on it.

Besides, if he hadn't changed, maybe he never would have met Shiro, or Matt, or Katie, or any of the Holts. And he... he wasn't sure if that was a trade he was willing to take.

His dream for his friends. For his family. There was no way he could choose.

"Okay, Keith," Shiro's voice broke through his thoughts, "-you ready to fly this thing?"

Bearing his fangs in a fierce grin, Keith gripped the controls tighter. He was here now. He was here, and he'd found people who cared about him, even if he was purple. Little by little, his tiny world was expanding, all because he had dared to hold out a hand, and lend aid to an injured cadet from the Garrison.

Wasn't that the most important thing?

"I was born ready."

* * *

He didn't blow Shiro's record out of the water. But he got close.

Next time, he vowed.

* * *

The new experiences didn't stop coming. If anything, they increased.

When Katie had first brought up the idea of visiting their lake house that spring, he'd initially been hesitant. It was one thing to visit their house- all things considered, it was close. But to cross state lines? Go somewhere he'd never been before?

He'd never left the state of Texas. _Never_.

Hell, he'd never even left the relative area of the _Garrison_ before. The farthest he had ever gone was Plaht City, and he only knew that because his dad had told him about it once. He didn't remember it at all, since he was only two at the time, but his dad had looked so happy when he talked about it.

Happy- and sad. He felt like he understood that a little better now.

In the end, he made up his mind. He didn't even need the blue lion's coaxing to convince him this time- he'd go. A little too late for spring, like Katie had wanted, but Sam was quick to promise him it wouldn't be a problem. Summer was just as good, just a bit more humid, he'd warned him.

( _Humidity_ turned out to be an entirely new experience for him- and _not_ a pleasant one.)

And now he was here.

Miles away from the desert, in an entirely new landscape. He hadn't realized just how much _green_ the world held until now. He hadn't known that nature held this many colors- vivid greens, bright blues, the countless colors of wildflowers whose names he could barely keep track of, even as Colleen tried to teach him about them all.

It wasn't just the colors. It was the smell, too. The scent of lake water... it was nothing like the scent of the underground river that ran through the blue lion's cavern.

He had never expected his world to get _this_ big.

Katie had promised to teach him how to swim, but it looked like that wasn't happening. He would have thought that in the summer, the lake water would have been warm, but apparently this lake stayed fairly cold year round. Just going out to his ankles was about all he could manage. It wasn't like he had _never_ been exposed to cold water before- maybe he didn't have it at the shack, but there was cold water at the Holt's.

Which granted, he avoided like the plague, but _still_. This wasn't his first exposure.

It was just... this was pretty cold. He didn't understand how Matt and Katie could just splash around in it- even Shiro! Just watching them made him shiver. It was all he could do to bury his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, grateful that the bright summer sun helped dash away the chill.

Matt had loaned him a pair of swim trunks, so he wore those with his usual hoodie, while he watched the three of them mess around. He stood at the edge of the lake, water lapping at his ankles. Occasionally tiny fish would investigate them, only to quickly dart away moments later. He guess they sensed him as some kind of predator- or maybe they were just naturally skittish. He knew absolutely jackshit about fish.

Sam and Colleen had gone down to town to buy groceries, leaving just the four of them behind, with Shiro ostensibly as adult supervision. Given the way he had been engaging in a splash war with the two Holt kids for the past half hour, he was going to say that _adult_ designation was pretty loose. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little jealous, but it was still fun just to watch them.

As if on cue, Katie caught his eye, waving a hand. He smiled, waving back, watching as she swam towards him, tagging out of the war she had started. Wading out of the lake, she sat down next to him, not caring about the mud that would inevitably work its way onto her swimsuit.

"Having fun?" She asked.

"Watching you and Matt trying to dunk Shiro and fail?" Keith asked. "I'm on the edge of my seat."

Katie just grinned. "Oh, we'll get him. Just you wait."

"He's been running you around for the past half hour." Keith pointed out. "I'll believe it when I see it."

Katie splashed some water on him, ignoring his cry of protest, instead just sticking out her tongue. "Oh ye of little faith."

"Hey, _someone_ has to be on Shiro's side." Keith grinned. Crouching down next to her, he rested his arms on his knees, watching as Shiro deftly avoided Matt's sneak attack. "Might as well be me."

"Honestly?" Katie said. "I don't think Shiro needs _anyone_ on his side. He seems to be doing pretty well all by himself."

He couldn't argue with that. Two on one and a home field advantage seemed like they would give the Holt siblings better odds, but... no. They didn't. But he already knew firsthand just how unfair Shiro could be.

"It's like he's not even human sometimes." Keith mused.

Katie just snorted. "That's rich, coming from you."

Keith just shrugged. "Hey, I call it like I see it. No one can hold their breath that long and still be human."

"So what, are you saying Shiro's secretly a merman?" Katie joked.

Unable to help himself, Keith snorted, ducking his head. He tried to picture that, but he just couldn't. "Look, all I'm saying is that Shiro's on his own level. What do they call him at the Garrison? Their golden boy?"

"I have no idea how he can take that with a straight face." Katie said, proceeding to drop her voice for the sake of emphasis. " _Golden boy_. I almost feel like Iverson should start calling him _old sport_ or something."

Keith just stared at her blankly. "Old... sport?"

Katie just tilted her head, perplexed until realization seemed to wash over her. "Oh, right. I forget that you were never forced to read _The Great Gatsby_ in school."

Keith just gave her a weak smile. Shiro and Sam had both been tutoring him off and on, but no, he hadn't exactly had any of the required reading that Katie was prone to complaining about. "Hey, there has to be some advantages to being a half-alien desert hermit."

Katie just crinkled her nose. "If being a half-alien desert hermit meant never having to read great American classics," and she used air quotes there, as if there was any room for confusion in regards to her feelings towards them, "-I'd gladly switch places with you."

"Trust me, it's not all it's cracked up to be." Keith assured her. "I mean, you'd have to deal with _nature_."

Katie recoiled, making a face. "You know what? On second thought, pass."

Keith just laughed. Yeah, that was kind of what he thought she'd say. He was just surprised she was so into the whole _lake house_ thing, but she'd been insistent that it was _nothing_ like camping. To be fair, she didn't exactly stray far- she spent most of her time inside, unless they were out here, on the lake. She'd balked at going fishing with them, but that hadn't stopped her from teasing him relentlessly about the fish incident once Matt told her about it.

Look- it was just instinct, okay? He couldn't help it.

Okay, so he _could_ , actually. Didn't change the fact that it was just instinct, pure and simple. Chucking it back into the lake out of sheer embarrassment had also been instinct, if not a decidedly stupider one.

...okay, so _maybe_ not all of his instincts were good. He'd admit it. _Privately_.

"I'm glad you came."

Lifting his head, Keith blinked, looking down at Katie. She was staring straight ahead, but he could tell that she was content.

"Did you think I wouldn't?" Keith asked.

"It took you awhile to make up your mind." Katie said. "I didn't know if you would."

Fair enough. She had brought the trip up over Christmas, and it had taken him nearly until summer to decide. That was several solid months worth of debate and hesitation.

"Well, I'm here, aren't I?" Keith asked.

"Yeah," Katie beamed, looking up at him, "-you are. I'm glad."

Keith stared at her for a long second, before he ruffled her hair, like Shiro had always done with him. She huffed a little, but let him. "You know what?"

Katie peered up at him, cocking her head like a curious cat.

"I'm glad too."

* * *

When they got back from the lake house, big news awaited them.

Shiro had been selected to fly a new mission- not just _any_ mission either. No. He'd be going to _Kerberos_. It would be a first not just for the Garrison, but for all of mankind- the farthest any human had ever been. It wasn't just him, either- it turned out the deep space shuttle that Sam had been helping to build over the past few years was the one meant for this mission, and that he would be taking part in it too.

He urged Shiro to take it. He'd never get a chance like this again- to make history like this. And there was no better pilot to do it than Shiro. He had to take this chance.

Even if it meant that he would be gone for nearly a year.

He could handle it. He had lived for four years in nearly complete isolation, going without seeing another human being for so long, that he almost forgot what they looked like. He could last for a year without seeing Shiro.

At least... he thought he could. He _hoped_ he could.

Shiro had been gone before. That was nothing new. He was a pilot, and sometimes that took him away from Earth. No surprise there. But a year?

He hadn't realized just how spoiled he'd gotten until he really started thinking about it. It was just a year, he tried to tell himself. Only a year- and Matt, Katie, and Colleen would all still be here. He could see them anytime he wanted. Shiro had cleared him to use his hoverbike on his own, and had even bought him a helmet- one with a tinted visor.

Then Matt was selected for the Kerberos mission too, and the number of people who would remain on Earth with him went down to two.

But he wouldn't stop them. This was their dream- a once in a lifetime chance. He had spent his entire life itching for a chance to fly- how could he possibly take that away from anyone else?

He was just... he was just _worried_. What if something happened? What if something went wrong, malfunctioned? What if... what if the Galra were out there? He tried asking the blue lion, but she didn't know. Her sensors didn't go that far.

He tried listening to the radio transmissions from the Galra ship, but it was no use. He still couldn't understand any of it. Even if they _were_ talking about their solar system, he'd have no way of knowing- he was willing to bet they didn't even call the planets by the same names.

Maybe he was worried for nothing. That was why his mom had left, right? To keep the Galra from coming to Earth. He didn't want to think that she could _fail_.

He tried to stop worrying. Tried to focus on other things. For a time, it even worked.

He managed to last until Shiro left for Japan. It was just for two weeks. He'd be coming back. He _knew_ that. It just didn't help.

His absence became like a living thing, eating away at him. Some nights he woke in cold sweat, clutching at his chest, haunted by visions of monsters with eyes like his stealing Shiro away. Stealing _everyone_ away- Matt, Katie... Sam and Colleen, even the blue lion. Even his mother. They were all gone in the blink of an eye, and there was nothing that he could do. He was powerless to stop it.

He was grounded. Like a bird with its wings clipped.

Still, he tried to hold it together. Once Shiro was back, he was sure these anxieties would fade. He'd be fine.

He wasn't, and Sam noticed. He had come by to drop off one of Shiro's postcards- an image of the Tokyo Tower emblazoned on it, with a message from Shiro that he had taken the promised racoon dog photos, and that he couldn't wait to come back and share them with him.

He could barely focus long enough to read it.

"Everything okay?"

He must have spaced out, because Sam was looking at him with deep concern. He tried to force himself to smile, only to stop. He'd had years to get to know Sam- and Sam had years to get to know him. He knew when he was lying.

"I... just some bad dreams, lately." Keith admitted. "Nothing serious."

Sam frowned, taking a seat next to him on the couch. "You want to talk about them?"

He bit his lip, staring blankly down at the postcard. Shiro's scrawl was so familiar, and he tried to take heart in it, but he just... _couldn't_.

"What did Shiro tell you?" Keith finally asked. "About my mom's people. _My_ people."

The meaning of his question was not lost on Sam, his expression instantly turning grave. He had a feeling that Shiro had shared with him at least the early stuff he had told him about the Galra, all those years ago when he had sneaked him into the Garrison in order to get help from Sam. He had just never known for sure.

Maybe he'd been too afraid to ask.

"He told me that they were hostile." Sam admitted, so frank that it was almost a relief. "Aside from your mother, and those she worked with, that is."

Keith just nodded. "They are."

"Is that... is that what the dreams are about?" Sam questioned.

Keith nodded again, keeping his gaze fixed on the floor. "I'm excited about the Kerberos mission. But I just..."

"You're afraid they might find us." Sam concluded.

He didn't dare speak, or even nod. He didn't need to. Sam knew.

"I wish I could tell you for sure that won't happen," Sam began, "-but we both know that I can't, so I won't lie to you. But the Garrison wouldn't be sending us out there if they thought there was a risk. We might be _primitive_ ," and there was a faint hint of a smile to his voice there, "-but we can at least monitor that far out into deep space."

Biting down on his lip, Keith tried to take his words to heart. He was right. If the Garrison detected that there was some kind of strange activity in the area around Kerberos, they wouldn't be sending a manned mission, they'd be sending another probe. He had heard enough tales about Admiral Sanda to know just how cautious she could be.

Heaving a sigh, Sam rested a light hand on his shoulder. Looking up, he met the man's eyes, his own reflected in his glasses. He shuddered, having to tear his gaze away. He'd been avoiding the mirror ever since the nightmares had started, unable to see his own yellow gaze without thinking of the monsters from his dreams.

The monsters that shared the same blood with him.

And here he thought he was over this. The blue lion had shown him so much, so much about what the Galra were like before... but that was _before_. Now? Now none of that mattered. The festivals, the traditions, even the code of honor and loyalty that he had felt such kinship with... none of that mattered anymore.

All that mattered was the damage they had done. And would _keep_ doing, until someone finally stopped them.

"Keith," Sam's voice was soft, "-I know I can't say anything to make you less afraid, but I can tell you that we have every intention of coming back."

He chewed on his lip. "I know. I know, I just..."

"You can't get it out of your mind?" Sam asked.

Keith nodded. "I just don't want anything to happen to you. To any of you. You're-"

He cut himself off, clenching his fists. Did he really have a right to say it? To say that he thought of them like family? What if that just made things awkward?

He sucked in a breath. He didn't know if he did or didn't, but it didn't change the fact that he did. He didn't even know when it was that he had started to feel that way- it had just happened so naturally that he'd barely even noticed.

"You're like family to me."

Sam went silent, and he didn't dare look up, too afraid that he had overstepped his bounds. But when Sam finally spoke, his voice was filled with such warmth, that it washed all of his anxieties away.

"You really think that?"

Swallowing, Keith dared to look up. Sam didn't look mad- on the contrary, he looked... he looked _happy_. It was more than enough to encourage him to be honest. "Well... yeah. You've all done so much for me. Of course I do."

"I don't know what to say." Sam admitted. "But I'm glad to hear it. And you should know that you'll always have a place in our family, Keith."

It was weird. The problem hadn't been addressed at all, but somehow he felt his tension ebbing away. Maybe all he really needed was the reminder that no matter what happened, he'd never be truly alone again.

Guess he was more afraid of that than he thought.

"I... thanks." Keith told him. "That means a lot to me."

Sam just smiled, giving his shoulder a light squeeze. "And that means you can come talk to me anytime, about anything. Nightmares included."

Keith nodded, taking his words to heart. "I'll keep that in mind. But do you think you can keep this from Shiro? I don't want him to know."

Sam blinked, but nodded. "Of course. But can I ask why?"

"I just don't want him to pass up on this chance because of me." Keith told him. "I'm the one who told him that he should go. That hasn't changed. Just..."

"I understand." Sam said. "Every time we send a pilot out, I can't help but worry about what could go wrong."

"How do you deal with it?" Keith asked.

"I always tell myself that if I spend too long worrying about what could wrong, I might miss the chance to do something great." Sam told him. "Sometimes you just have to be willing to take the risk, no matter the cost."

Keith let Sam's words sink into him. He was right. Even though he had spent so much time worrying about it, not once had he considered asking Shiro to change his mind. That wasn't what he wanted. But because he couldn't stop worrying, he had let what had started as a small seed of doubt blossom into something that had taken hold of his entire being.

He drew in a deep breath. As long as the Galra were out there, the possibility wouldn't be zero. He would just have to hope that it wouldn't come.

He didn't know if that would be enough. The fear had taken root, and he didn't think it was something he could just shake off. But at least he felt like he could learn to live with it.

Letting out his breath, he let his shoulders slump. "Okay."

Sam smiled. "You going to be okay?"

"Not sure," Keith admitted, "-but... thanks. Talking to you helped."

"Glad to hear it." Sam told him. "Now, how about we give that hoverbike of yours a tune up? I want to make sure you're doing the maintenance right. Shiro tells me you've been putting a lot of miles on it lately."

He offered Sam a weak smile. "You could say that."

Rising to his feet, he set down Shiro's postcard. He would be home in another week. It would be fine.

Sam was right. It was okay to worry, but he couldn't let that take him over. Shiro had the chance to do something great, and he refused to take that from him.

* * *

Time moved strangely as they all began to prepare in earnest for the launch.

Sometimes it went by in the blink of an eye, and sometimes it just seemed to drag on, a single day feeling like it lasted lifetimes. His days weren't dull- even with Shiro busier than ever, his days were filled with more activity than before, to the point where he almost lost track of everything that he experienced.

Almost. But not quite.

He started to visit Matt and Katie on his own time. It was a risk, but a calculated one. Sometimes he even went as far as the dusty gas station that sat a few miles out from the Garrison- the last one for miles, before you got to Plaht City. He usually went in the dead of night, when he was likely to draw the least amount of attention. Nobody thought twice about a biker not taking off their helmet upon entering a gas station.

His dad had kept a tin of money stashed under his bed, that he hadn't touched since his death. He used that to pay for his purchases. He didn't use it for much- just indulgences- chocolate and coffee, mostly. There wasn't much he could buy at the gas station, anyways, and it wasn't like he could go into a proper store. But it gave him the illusion of being normal, if only for the span of the purchase.

He would buy a can of iced coffee, and drive off into the desert. Sometimes he'd just sit out there, waiting for the sun to rise.

He never got sick of desert sunrises.

Sometimes he still had nightmares. He learned not to dwell in them, but to leave, do something else. Sam had suggested it after he admitted that they hadn't completely gone away after Shiro came back. It helped, some nights more than others.

Katie had printed out the photos Shiro had taken on his trip, and had helped him plaster them all over the shack. She dug out some of her own, from trips that she had taken with her family, and stuck them up with them- pictures from their trip to London, a photograph of Big Ben sitting side by side to Shiro's Tokyo Tower postcard. Matt had taken one look at their collaborative effort, and had come back the next day with stills he'd printed out from video footage taken by his roommate at the Garrison.

(He'd grumbled when Matt had told him that being a pilot was actually his roommate's _second_ choice. Seriously, what did people have against being a pilot?)

Katie got a dog. It followed her home, literally. He'd been nervous the first time he visited after that, worried that it wouldn't like him- but it had taken to him right away. The feeling was mutual- turned out, he was a dog person.

Sometimes he and Matt took their hoverbikes out into the desert, raced each other. When Shiro found out about it, they thought he would be angry- but instead, he joined them, only to leave them both behind in the dust. They had both been eager to learn his more advanced tricks after that, and Shiro had been more than happy to teach them- provided Matt didn't mention it to Colleen, that was.

It got out anyways. Keith vowed never to make Colleen angry. He was sure even Zarkon would quake in his boots at her fury.

During winter of that year, he went to the mountains.

He saw his first snow. Got into his first snowball fight. _Crushed_ Katie in said snowball fight. Got chilled to the bone, and had to warm up in front of the fireplace, more blanket bundle than man. Learned he grew fur in cold weather. _Grew_ said fur. Got said fur _everywhere_. Listened to Matt complain about him getting said fur everywhere. Broke down to Shiro about his insecurities. Drank an ungodly amount of hot chocolate.

Had a good time.

Sure, once he came back home to the desert, he'd spent the next week suffering in silence until he finally shed the last of his winter coat. It had kept him warm up in the mountains, but out here, it had practically been _stifling_.

He resolved to move in with Katie and Colleen for the duration of the Kerberos mission. Colleen had been receptive to the idea, and Katie had looked downright delighted. He got the feeling that she would be missing her father and brother, even if she had too much pride to admit to that.

He turned seventeen. They celebrated it together. It would be their last chance, since the Kerberos launch date was set for the first of November. Shiro gave him a jacket, a red and white one with a high collar, that he instantly fell in love with, even if the sleeves were a bit too long for him. It was fine. He'd grow into it.

He carved charms out of rock for them. The symbol of Voltron, like the blue lion had shown him in the past. He hoped it would keep them safe.

She spoke to him less and less now, and he sensed that the time her paladin would come for her was growing near. It was bittersweet- sad that his companion and friend would be taken away, but joyous, in that the blue lion finding its paladin meant that there was hope for the universe yet.

Then, before he knew it, it was the day before the launch.

Matt had already said goodbye early that morning, as had Sam. Only Shiro hadn't. Sam had been quick to reassure him, to tell him that the drills were keeping him busy. He didn't need to bother- he knew he would come.

He spotted the dust trail from his hoverbike first, zipping through the desert. Rising to his feet, Keith waited for him at the bottom of the steps, watching as he pulled his hoverbike up. He was still in officer uniform, the same gray one that he remembered his own father coming home in sometimes. He still had it somewhere in the shack. He hadn't touched it since his death.

"Keith-"

He didn't let Shiro finish, pulling him close in a tight embrace, burying his head in his chest. Shiro stood there, dumbfounded for a few seconds, before he smiled, returning the embrace.

"I'll come back." Shiro promised him. "You know that, right?"

"I know." Keith mumbled.

"Remember, you can contact me anytime." Shiro assured him. "Matt's code-"

"I know," Keith cut him off, "-he told me the code."

"Good." Shiro said. "I'm going to miss you, Keith."

Keith didn't say anything, just buried his head deeper into Shiro's chest, breathing in his scent. He didn't need to say anything for Shiro to know that he would miss him. He lost track of how long they stayed like that, in companionable silence.

"So," Shiro began, breaking it after what felt like hours, "-should I send you a postcard from Kerberos?"

He nearly choked on his laughter, drawing away. "Sure, but I hear the mail service there is terrible."

Shiro grinned, ruffling his hair. "Try not to lose your sense of humor while I'm gone."

"Try to find one before you come back." Keith shot back, causing Shiro to let out a loud, undignified snort.

"Maybe I can ask Sam to share some of his dad jokes." Shiro cracked.

"Oh, so you admit you're a dad?" Keith asked, arching a brow.

"Oh, so you admit you're my son?" Shiro retaliated.

"Okay, that's fair." He admitted, taking a step back. "You're coming back, right?"

"Promise." Shiro said, holding up his hand and sticking out his pinky. "We could even make it a pinky promise, if you want."

He turned a bright shade of purple at the question, his thoughts automatically going back to the first time they met, when he had still been somewhat suspicious of him. It was embarrassing to think of now, that there had been a time when he'd been so skeptical of _Shiro_ of all people. But fine. If that was how Shiro was going to play, then two could play at that game.

Linking his pinky with Shiro's, he gave him a toothy grin. "I'll make you swallow those thousand needles myself if you break it."

"I'll keep that in mind." Shiro said.

"You better." Keith told him, folding his arms in front of him. "Don't you have history to go make or something?"

Shiro just chuckled at that, affectionately ruffling his hair. He complained about it, shoving his hand away. He was seventeen now- had been for all of a week.

That only just made Shiro laugh more. "I see you're wearing the jacket I bought you."

He nodded. "It's nice."

"Well, let's just hope you grow into by the time I come back." Shiro observed.

"Who knows?" Keith shrugged. "Maybe by the time you come back, I'll be seven feet tall."

Shiro blanched, and he couldn't help but laugh, lightly punching him in the shoulder. "I'm kidding. I don't think I'll actually get that tall."

"Good, because I'm not sure I'm fully prepared for that." Shiro admitted, before his smile faltered. "I should probably get going. Sam and I have a press conference scheduled for this evening about the launch."

He swallowed, fingers digging into the fabric of his jacket. Still, he managed to nod, forcing himself to smile. He had promised himself that he would see Shiro off with one. "Wouldn't want to hold you up. Go break an arm."

"I'm pretty sure you mean _leg_." Shiro corrected. "But thanks. I'll try to put on a good show."

They stood in silence for a long moment, before Shiro heaved a sigh, reaching out an arm and pulling him into another embrace. He rested his head on top of his, right arm rubbing small, reassuring circles in his back.

"I'll be back, Keith." Shiro assured him. "I promise."

He didn't look up, just nodded. Biting his lip, he knew that the only thing that was stopping him from crying was the fact that he physical couldn't. So much for sending him off with smile.

"You better." He whispered, his voice harsh. "You better."

* * *

 _"The Galaxy Garrison mission to the distant moon of Kerberos is missing, and all crew members are believed to be dead."_


	7. pidge

Chapter seven! Next chapter will be the final chapter! We're nearing the end! Telling this from Keith's POV has been a fun, if not sometimes painful ride- especially this chapter, where I admittedly teared up in a few places writing it. All part of the experience of being a writer!

* * *

 **desert raised**

 **pidge**

* * *

The sound of his bed springs creaking woke him up.

Grumbling a little, Keith turned on his side. He recognized Katie's scent, even before he cracked his eyes open to take a peek at who it was that had crawled into bed with him. Blinking slowly, Keith almost drifted back to sleep, figuring for a moment that she was either sleepwalking or possibly just lonely.

That was, until he picked up on the scent of salt.

His ears twitched, picking up on the scent of someone softly sobbing. Frowning, he opened his eyes, carefully studying the tiny ball that was his best friend.

"...Katie?"

She startled a bit at the sound of his voice, furiously wiping away her tears. "I didn't mean to wake you. Not yet, at least."

Keith's brow furrowed, propping himself up with his elbows. "What's wrong?"

For a long moment, Katie said nothing, just curling further into herself. And then, through choked back tears, "-they said the Kerberos mission failed."

Keith just stared at her, unable to comprehend what she had said. Then it slowly clicked into place, and he felt like someone had pulled the rug out from under him. "It- who said that, Katie?"

"It was on the news." Katie mumbled. "I went down to get a glass of water and mom was watching it. They said... they said they've all been presumed dead, Keith."

Dead. The words sunk into him. For a long moment, all he could think of was his father, slowly bleeding to death underneath the scorching desert sun.

Dead.

Shiro, Sam, Matt... dead. _Gone_. Just like that.

"That," he began, the words tumbling out before he could stop them, "-that can't be true. They would have- the Garrison would have contacted you, right?"

 _Wouldn't_ they? They wouldn't just release information like that to the news without first informing the families, would they? Him aside, they should have at least phoned Colleen.

The sound of footsteps caused his ears to twitch. Glancing up, he made out Colleen's silhouette, framed by the light that spilled out from the hall. She looked pale, ashen- like she was barely holding it all together, but knew that she had to.

She took one look at them and swallowed. "Did you hear?"

"It's not true, is it?" Katie asked, slowly uncurling herself from a ball to look at her mother. "What they said on the news. It _can't_ be true."

"I don't know." Colleen admitted. "I still need to contact the Garrison. But it... it seems a little cruel for someone's prank. And they haven't aired a correction yet."

Keith swallowed, for a moment not trusting his voice. "Did- did they say what caused it?"

 _Please don't be the Galra_ , he prayed. _Please_.

He didn't know if he could take it if it was. Losing three people he cared about in one day was enough, but to have it be caused by his own people? He couldn't handle that. He knew he couldn't handle that.

"Pilot error," Katie whispered, "-they said it was pilot error."

 _Pilot error_. Something about the words sounded so wrong in his head. _Shiro_ was the pilot of the Kerberos mission. Shiro, who was the greatest pilot the Garrison ever had. How could he- how could he make such a critical error? It didn't sound possible.

"That- that doesn't make sense." Keith stammered. "How could- how could Shiro fail?"

"I don't know." Colleen shook her head. "But I'm going to get to the bottom of this."

* * *

 _Getting to the bottom of this_ meant calling the Garrison.

He sat up with Katie as Colleen dialed the Garrison. She was nothing but polite to the person who initially answered the phone, but as soon as they got her on the line with someone who was actually in charge, she didn't hesitate to tear into them. He recalled how Matt had once described her as a force of nature when she was angered, and he was starting to understand just how true that was.

They had relocated downstairs. Colleen had shut the TV off, and for extra measure, had apparently hidden the remote, since he couldn't find it anywhere. Katie leaned into his shoulder, looking as if she was on the verge of crying again, but she never did. He held her hand, as firmly as he could, mindful of his claws.

He lifted his head, catching sight of himself in the mirror. In the dark, his eyes glowed, making him look more alien than he already was, and for a split second, he felt wholly out of place. Then Katie held his hand tighter, and he realized he was exactly where he needed to be right now.

Colleen eventually let out an aggravated sigh, looking like she was this close to just chucking her phone at the floor out of sheer frustration. But instead she took a calming breath, pinching the bridge of her nose. He'd only been able to hear one end of her conversation, but he took it that it hadn't gone well.

"Mom?" Katie asked, fragile hope in her eyes. "Is it true?"

"I don't know." Colleen admitted. "I managed to get through to Admiral Sanda, but she kept telling me that it was pilot error. But I think... I think it's true that the shuttle was lost."

It was crushing, watching the hope slip from Katie's eyes. She ducked her head, a few silent tears trailing down her cheeks, before drawing in a long, ragged breath.

"Keith's right." She said finally. "Shiro wouldn't make a mistake like that."

"I agree." Colleen said, setting down her phone. "But I don't think the Garrison would claim the shuttle was lost unless it actually was."

Keith swallowed. There was a finality to her words. _Lost_. Shiro, Sam, Matt- everyone on the Kerberos mission was dead.

Just like his father.

Just like that, his world shrunk. It wasn't the first time it had happened, but somehow it was a lot more painful this time.

But he was older now. Nearly eighteen- almost an adult, or close enough to one. So instead of breaking down, he just steeled himself. Katie had just lost her father and brother, and though she was older than he had been when he'd lost his father, it was still hitting her hard. Right now, she needed someone.

He tried not to think about what _he'd_ lost. His friends- his _family_. Because that was exactly what Shiro and the Holts had become- his family. And now that family had been shattered, and they were left to try and pick up the pieces.

"So... what now?" Keith asked, swallowing thickly. The agreement was that he would live here for a year, for the duration of the Kerberos mission. But now... now they weren't coming back. They'd never come back.

Maybe... maybe he should leave. Go back to the desert.

It was strange. The desert was his home, and for a long time, he hadn't wanted to leave it. But now... now he just wanted to stay. To be here, with Katie and Colleen- the only family he had left.

"Tomorrow morning, I'll go to the Garrison to speak with Admiral Sanda myself." Colleen said firmly. Admiral Sanda was the head of the Texas Garrison base- meeting her probably wasn't that easy, and yet he couldn't find it in himself to doubt her ability to do so. "After that... we'll figure out what to do from there."

"It's a school night." Katie whispered, not quite looking up at her mother.

Colleen heaved a sigh, taking a seat on the couch next to her. For a split second, he wondered if he should leave, before she caught his eye, shaking her head. He wasn't sure if he could escape the vice grip Katie had on his hand anyways.

"It's okay if you want to stay home tomorrow, Katie." Colleen assured her. "Nobody is going to force you to go, least of all me."

"Yeah," Keith said, even though the words were heavy in his throat, "-you can just stay here with me."

Katie chewed her lip, before nodding. Finally looking up, she locked eyes with her mother. "You'll find out the truth from Admiral Sanda, won't you?"

"I'll try." Colleen told her.

What went unspoken was the fact that might not be so easy. If the Garrison had neglected to inform even the families of those involved before informing news outlets, then that wasn't a good sign. It just made it sound like they had something to hide.

He didn't know what. He just prayed it wasn't the Galra.

* * *

By the end of the week, it became clear that the Garrison was going to stick to the pilot error story. That didn't make it any more believable, just more frustrating.

Colleen had been right to hide the remote- the Kerberos mission and its failure were all anyone seemed to want to talk about anymore. It wasn't just the news, either. The Kerberos failure quickly became the subject of every talk show- and everywhere people gathered, no one could stop talking about it. Katie stayed home from school the entire week after the failure was announced, but when she dragged herself in the ensuing Monday, she confirmed that even there, it was the only thing anyone seemed to want to discuss.

Just not in front of her. In front of her, they would clam up, or drop their voices to hushed whispers. Somehow that only managed to make it worse.

He stayed inside- didn't even think about going out. Part of him almost wanted to retreat out into the desert, if only to escape. But he knew that even there, he wouldn't be able to outrun the shadow of the Kerberos mission.

Honestly, he felt paralyzed, invisible. Like he couldn't do anything. Couldn't change anything. It wasn't until Katie told him that Shiro's parents would be coming to clear out his apartment, that he finally felt something in him start to move. It was as if it had taken that long for the reality of the situation to finally set in.

"You know," Katie had told him, "-he might have evidence."

Evidence of _what_ , she didn't say. She didn't need to. He knew what she meant.

That was how he found himself out in front of Shiro's apartment complex at two in the morning, the night before his parents were scheduled to arrive. He realized, standing there, staring up at the window of his fourth story apartment, that this was the first time he'd ever been here. He had always been planning to visit, once he worked up the courage to deal with the fact that it was an apartment complex, but it just never happened.

At some point, he'd taken to telling himself that he'd visit after the Kerberos mission came back. Just like he'd planned to show Shiro the blue lion when he came back.

That would never happen.

He knew where it was, thanks to Katie- as well as which floor it was on and which apartment it was. She'd even scraped together some kind of jammer he could use to interfere with any security cameras. Reaching into his jacket, he turned it over between his fingers, as if it were some kind of charm.

Guess the one he'd given to Shiro had failed.

He shut his eyes, trying not to think about that. Right now he just had to focus on making sure there weren't any traces of him in Shiro's apartment.

There was a pedestrian gate that lead in and out of the complex, one that was locked at this hour. He just vaulted over the wall, hoping nobody saw him. He was still wearing his helmet, so at the very least, even if they did, they would just see a suspicious character breaking in- and not a suspicious character that happened to be _purple_.

He made it in, all the way up to Shiro's floor. Thankfully, he avoided running into anyone. Using a plastic rewards card he had borrowed from Colleen, he jimmied the lock open, momentarily thankful that Matt had taught him how.

He bit his lip at the unexpected thought. It still didn't feel real to him- that they wouldn't be coming back. He kept expecting to receive their next contact any day now, even though Katie had already checked. She couldn't connect to any of the devices that they had brought with them- they were either way out of range or had been destroyed.

Drawing in a deep breath, Keith squared his shoulders. He didn't want to be caught lingering out in the hallway. Opening the door to Shiro's apartment, he ducked inside. Making sure the door was shut and locked behind him, he reached up to pull off his helmet, exhaling as he did so.

Tucking it under one arm, he scanned the apartment. It was neat and tidy, but with personal touches that definitely made him think of Shiro. There was a thin layer of dust on everything, causing his nose to twitch, but he managed to keep himself from sneezing. Dimly, he couldn't help but wonder if Shiro would mind the fact that he had broken into his apartment- before remembering that there was no Shiro to mind either way anymore.

He swallowed, clenching his fists. He still didn't understand how this could have happened. Shiro was a great pilot. He _never_ would have crashed. He knew in his gut that something was wrong.

Was it a mechanical failure? Impossible. Sam was the one who had built that shuttle. If anything went wrong, he'd know how to fix it.

Then was it...?

He shook the thought away. _Focus, Keith. You have a job to do._

He systemically made his way through Shiro's apartment. It was easier for him to break it down that way. He knew Shiro had some photos of him, so he was mostly just looking for those. He'd be surprised if he had anything-

He paused, something familiar catching his eye. There, on the mantelpiece, was a tiny black lion, the very same one that he'd carved out of stone and given to him over Christmas. Carefully picking it up, he shut his eyes, closing his hand around it.

He really was gone, wasn't he?

He simply stood like that for the longest time, before he forced himself to take in a long, shuddering breath. Tucking the stone lion away in one of his belt pouches, he steeled himself to finish his task. He found the photographs, carefully folding them up and sticking them in his belt pouch, along with the lion.

On the bookcase, he spotted some of his dad's old books, the ones he had passed on to Shiro. He quickly checked them for any indication that they had once belonged to his dad, but found nothing, so he simply put them back on the shelves. No one would be able to use them to connect Shiro to him.

Stepping back, he scanned the apartment for anything that he had missed. Finding nothing, he picked up his helmet and put it back on. With one last lingering look at Shiro's apartment, he turned and left.

It almost felt like saying goodbye.

* * *

"Keith, you need to look at this."

Keith blinked, squinting at the data pad Katie had shoved in front of his nose. "Your data pad...?"

"No, not my data pad." Katie said, rolling her eyes, though she did still pull it a bit back from his face so he could actually see what was on it. "What's _on_ my data pad."

Keith frowned, studying the screen. He wasn't sure what it was that Katie wanted him to see- it just looked like barren, icy rock to him. "I don't see anything."

" _Exactly_." Katie said. "This is the feed from the Garrison's Kerberos probes."

Keith blinked, then blinked again. "Aren't those classified?"

"Eh." Katie shrugged. "More importantly, do you know what this means?"

"That I need to start saving for bail?" Keith hazarded a guess.

He knew Katie was going somewhere with this, he just didn't know where. It had been three weeks since the failure of the Kerberos mission had been announced, and they weren't any closer to getting real, concrete answers. The Garrison kept insisting on the pilot error story, and to his frustration, some people were actually starting to buy it.

He was still resolutely against the idea that Shiro could have failed, even if the alternative was... well, _bad_. There was no way around it.

"No, stupid." Katie said, plopping down on the couch next to him. "Besides, where would you even _get_ that much money from? I don't think your dad's cash jar is exactly enough to post bail for breaking through the security network of a highly classified military organization."

Keith just shrugged. "I could always start a promising career as a bank robber."

"They'd just arrest you too." Katie pointed out.

Keith just folded his arms in front of him. "Can't arrest what doesn't exist."

Katie just rolled her eyes. "You know what? I'm not even going to touch that one."

He just shrugged, studying her data pad curiously. For a moment, it almost felt like things were normal again- except for the absence of Matt. Thinking about it just made him notice it all the more, so he tried to shake it off and just focus on what it was that Katie wanted to show him.

"So... the feed from the Kerberos probes." He said.

Katie nodded. "Don't you get it? There's nothing there. No debris, no shuttle- just _nothing_."

No- snatching the data pad out of her hands, Keith scrolled through the probe footage himself. She was right- there was nothing on Kerberos but icy rock.

That wasn't right.

"Now do you get it?" Katie asked. "The Garrison lied. There was never a crash."

There hadn't been a- setting the data pad down, Keith drew in a deep breath, trying to steady himself. His thoughts were racing a mile a minute, trying to make sense of this. How could there be no debris? Or even any sign of the Kerberos shuttle? In their last transmission, Sam had said that they probably had only two full days left of travel before they finally reached it.

There was no reason the shuttle shouldn't be there.

Unless...

Keith shot bolt upright, barely even noticing Katie's faint yelp of surprise. No. No, he didn't want to believe it. It was staring him right in the face, but he couldn't... he didn't _want_ to believe it could be true. After all the reassurances, all the promises... his mother had _left him_ in order to keep Earth safe from the Galra, so how could they have...?

Maybe it wasn't the Galra, he tried to tell himself. Maybe it was some other hostile group of aliens. There had to be others, right?

But this far out?

"Keith?" Katie asked. "Everything okay?"

Keith opened his mouth to respond, but quickly shut it. Instead, he slowly shook his head, tightly clenching his fists. His claws bit into his skin, but he ignored it.

It was still too early to jump to conclusions. Just because there was no debris _on_ Kerberos, didn't mean that there wasn't some kind of an accident.

"We need," he began slowly, trying to keep his tone level, "-we need to find out more."

Katie just stared up at him, a slight frown on her features. For a second, he worried that she would press him. That maybe she had seen right through him.

Instead, her frown gave way into a fierce, determined grin. "Good thing I already have a plan, then."

* * *

"So," Colleen began, her smile positively frigid, "-who wants to tell me why I got a phone call from Commander Iverson today informing me that my daughter broke into his office?"

Exchanging a glance with Katie, they both nervously gulped. Usually Colleen was at work around this hour, but when they came home, they found her waiting for them. He barely had a chance to take his helmet off before Colleen had sat them both down at the dining room table, looking cross.

In hindsight, he probably should have expected it. Seeing as Katie couldn't exactly get to the Garrison herself, he had served as her transport. He tried to avoid driving during daylight hours, but seeing as it would have been even harder for her to gain admission to the Garrison after dark, he had forced back his own fears.

Besides, he wanted answers just as much as she did. Even if part of him was afraid of what those answers would be.

At least they would be _answers_.

Finally, after what felt like hours of silence, Keith drew in a long breath. "It was my idea."

Colleen just looked at him. "I admire the fact that you're trying to defend her, but we both know this was Katie's idea."

He opened his mouth to say something, but Katie cut him off. "You're right. It was my idea. But mom, you _have_ to listen to me. The Garrison has been lying to us this whole time."

For a long moment, Colleen simply stared at her daughter, before exhaling. Taking a seat across from them, she studied them both. "And? Did you find anything out before Commander Iverson had you escorted off the premises? _Permanently_ , I might add."

Lifting her head, Katie stared at her mother. "I- yeah, I did, actually."

Keith blinked in surprise. Katie hadn't said anything on the ride back, so he assumed she had came up empty handed. Guess he'd been wrong.

"There was no pilot error." Katie stated, resolute. "Or any kind of mechanical failure. In fact, all the logs indicate that the shuttle successfully landed on Kerberos. I even found dad's initial report still logged in the system. They made it there, intact."

Colleen exhaled. Tension that she had been carrying in her shoulders ever since the announcement broke chipped away bit, allowing her to relax, if only slightly.

He wished he could say the same. Instead of giving him relief, Katie's words just formed a knot of dread in the pit of his stomach. He had an awful feeling that he knew where this was all going.

"So," somehow he found his voice, "-what happened to them?"

"I think... I think they may have been abducted."

The words were spoken with considerable caution, like she was afraid of accidentally upsetting him. She didn't need to worry about that. He just felt numb.

"Abducted?" Colleen questioned. "Katie, why would you think that?"

"After they lost contact with the crew, the Garrison intercepted a transmission." Katie told them. "I managed to record it on my data pad before I got caught."

He remained stone faced as Katie retrieved her data pad, setting it on the table. He didn't even dare to breathe- or more like he couldn't.

She played the transmission. He couldn't understand a word of it.

It didn't matter. He knew the language.

He knew.

Bile rose to his throat, fast and unexpected. He thought he had prepared himself for this, but faced with the crushing reality of it, it proved more than he could take. He barely had time to get to the kitchen before he hurled, emptying the contents of his lunch into the kitchen garbage. By the time his stomach was completely empty, he was shaking, his breath coming out in shallow puffs.

Colleen was at his side through it all, a gentle hand on his back. Her touch burned, her attempts to calm him meeting with deaf ears.

"Katie, fetch Keith a glass of water." Colleen instructed.

Katie didn't hesitate to do so. Offering him the glass, for a long moment, all he could do was stare at it. Slowly, he reached out to take it, but his hands were trembling so badly that all he ended up doing was dropping it, causing it to shatter into pieces on the floor.

"Okay," Colleen said carefully, "-that's okay. Everyone stay right where you are."

He did as she said, if only because he was too numb to actually move. Sweeping up the broken pieces of glass, Colleen tossed them into the garbage, joining his vomit. Once she was done, she handed him another cup of water- in a paper cup this time.

He only managed to get a few sips down. His throat was burning, and probably not just because he had just thrown up. Staring down at the cup, he stared at his own reflection in the water, alien and out of place.

"I know what took them."

Colleen and Katie both stopped short of whatever it was they were saying. He didn't know what. He'd kind of drowned them out. He couldn't even _look_ at them. He didn't- he didn't want to see their faces when they realized that it was his own people who had taken their loved ones. That it was the fault of his own kind that they would never see them again.

His world was going to shrink again.

"Katie's right. They are aliens. They're called the Galra." Keith slowly explained. "I know... I know because I'm one of them."

His words were met with silence. It hung, awkward and heavy in the air to the point where he swore it was nearly visible. Shutting his eyes, he drew in a shuddering breath, ignoring the burning of his throat. This was it. Everything was over.

He had lost his family a third time.

"I- I understand if you want me to leave. I can just-"

He turned to go, but Katie caught his wrist, stopping him. Seconds passed, and she didn't say anything, nor did he.

"No," Katie said finally, "-you can't leave."

Keith tensed. His thoughts shot straight to possible worst case scenarios- were they going to hand him over to the Garrison? It made sense. He wouldn't even blame them. He'd happily tell the Garrison everything he knew if it meant getting Shiro back.

"I just," Katie said, and abruptly, he realized she was choking back sobs, "-I just lost one brother. I can't lose another. _Please_."

Eyes snapping up, he stared at her. Sure enough, big ugly tears had formed in her eyes. He racked his brain, trying to think of a reason why she might be crying, but he couldn't come up with one. Not one that made sense, at any rate.

"But I-"

"Keith." Colleen spoke, and her voice was so gentle that it was almost painful. "This isn't your fault."

He swallowed, slowly shifting his gaze up towards her. For a second, they simply locked eyes- before she wrapped him in a tight embrace, burying his head deep in her chest. A second later, Katie joined them, wrapping her arms around the both of them and squeezing tight.

He shuddered, for a brief second wanting to pull away. Then slowly, he allowed himself to sink into it, closing his eyes and breathing in both of their scents. They didn't hate him. They still wanted him here.

He wasn't going to have to deal with losing his family for a third time.

"Thank you," he mumbled, unsure if he was even loud enough for them to hear, "-thank you so much."

* * *

"So? How do I look?"

Glancing up in Katie's direction, Keith nearly choked on his can of coffee. She had hacked off most of her hair, and combined with his glasses, she looked like the spitting image of Matt. Just shorter.

"Katie, what-?"

"Not Katie," she told him, "-it's Pidge."

"Okay, _Pidge_ ," he said slowly, Matt's nickname for his sister heavy on his tongue, "-why the sudden image change?"

"Because I'm going to sneak back into the Garrison and get to the bottom of this." Katie- _Pidge_ \- confidently declared. "I've already enrolled. _Pidge Gunderson_ is slated to show up at the dorms first thing tomorrow morning."

For a second, all he could do was stare at her, blankly. "Pidge, we know what happened. They were abducted by the-"

He stopped himself short, unable to finish. It had only been three days since he had learned the truth- or had gotten confirmation of it. It wasn't long enough for him to cease waking up in cold sweat, horrific nightmares of what his own kind might be doing to them keeping him up at night.

Hence the increased coffee consumption, in some desperate hope that it would accomplish its desired effect for once. So far, no dice. Frankly, he was exhausted.

"Well, yeah." Pidge admitted. "But that doesn't mean that the Garrison doesn't know anything more. We might even be able to figure out a way to rescue them."

Lifting his head, Keith stared at her. "Rescue them?"

Pidge just stared right back at him. "We can't just leave them there."

"I know but-" Keith began, before stopping himself short. Rescue them? The idea had sounded so impossible, that he had never even considered it. Earth just didn't have the kind of tech to match up to the Galra Empire, and even if they did have two downed Galra scout ships, there was no way they would be able to get them back up and running.

Maybe _Sam_ could, but Katie... Katie was better at coding than she was at mechanics. And they would need a good mechanic.

"Do- do you really think there might be a way?" Keith asked, hating how hesitant he sounded.

"There _has_ to be." Pidge's voice was so firm, but he had to wonder if she wasn't trying to convince herself at the same time. "We can't give up hope. Not yet."

Keith swallowed. He wanted to believe that. He really did. He didn't want... none of them deserved being held captive by the Galra Empire. If there was some way to free them, shouldn't he try to act on it, however slim the chances were?

Drawing in a deep breath, he rose to his feet. "Okay."

Pidge grinned. "Good. Now come on. You have to help me convince mom."

All at once, the color drained from his face. Somehow that sounded even more difficult than rescuing Shiro from the Galra.

* * *

Colleen had relented in the end- but only after he had promised he would go with her.

Not to the Garrison, of course. There was no way he could pass himself off as a cadet, much less a regular human. There wasn't enough foundation in the world to cover up all his purple. No- he would just go back to the shack. It was close to the Garrison, so in the event that something went wrong, he could get Pidge out of there.

It was strange, coming back to the shack after so long. He had visited it, of course, during the time he had lived with the Holts. Even spent the night sometimes. But living there again... suddenly, it felt so _small_.

Not to mention lonely. He hadn't realized how used he had gotten to living with other people until he spent his first night there, alone. Sleep eluded him, and not just because of his usual nightmares.

It felt... it felt like he had gone back to square one.

The next day, he dug out some old picture frames and set up the pictures that he had removed from Shiro's apartment. They helped, serving as a reminder that he wasn't alone anymore. He still had Colleen and Katie. Still had-

He stopped himself short. The blue lion- he hadn't thought to visit the blue lion at all during the aftermath of the Kerberos disaster. With that thought in his head, he grabbed the keys to his hoverbike, peeling out of the shack at top speed.

When he got there, she was silent.

Swallowing, he placed a hand on her barrier. Closing his eyes, he exhaled, relieved that she was at least still here. Part of him had been afraid that she wouldn't be.

Opening his eyes, he gazed up at her. She remained silent, but he got the impression that she was simply waiting for something- or some _one_. It was just... that someone wasn't him.

Her paladin.

The thought brought him a bitter sense of hope. Bitter, because if the blue lion left, that meant there would be one less person in his life- even if the blue lion wasn't, strictly speaking, a _person_. And hope... hope because he knew that if the blue lion found her paladin, then maybe there was a chance, however slim, of getting Shiro and the Holts back home, where they belonged.

Drawing his hand away, he took a few steps back. For a long time, he simply looked up at her, as if he were trying to burn her image into his memory.

Finally, he managed a smile. He knew how long the blue lion had been waiting for her paladin- longer than he had been alive. Much, much longer. For ten thousand years, she had waited, mourning the loss of her previous paladin.

That was an awfully long time to wait for someone.

"I hope you get to meet them soon."

* * *

"Keith!"

Lifting his head, Keith peered up from his book. Catching sight of Pidge, he tucked it away in the storage compartment of his hoverbike, standing up straight.

"No problems sneaking out?" He asked.

It had been three weeks since _Pidge Gunderson_ had enrolled in the Galaxy Garrison. Three weeks of holding his breath, worried that someone would catch on. Somehow, nobody had- which he chalked up to there being some kind of higher power at work, given that she basically looked like a tiny version of Matt. He'd brought up maybe dying her hair, but she'd been against it.

In other words, they were essentially in the clear now. They had already agreed to keep contact to an absolute minimum- Pidge had scraped together a pair of walkie-talkies that they could use to communicate with each other while she was at the Garrison, but they had quickly established they wouldn't be used for simple house calls. They were mostly just for setting a time and place for the two of them to actually meet in person, where they were more at liberty to discuss things.

Which was the plan for today- today was testing day for new pilots, so everyone else had a half day. Since Pidge was in communications, that meant her.

"Nope." Pidge reported, opening the storage compartment and shoving her bag inside. "Anyone see you?"

"From this distance? With this on?" He asked, tapping the side of his helmet. "Wouldn't matter if they did."

It was true enough- he'd parked far away enough from the Garrison that he'd be hard to spot, but still close enough so that Pidge wouldn't have to trek too far through the desert to find him. Being this close to the Garrison gave him goosebumps, but the good kind- a far cry from how he had been years ago.

Sure, he was still scared of the outside world. He wasn't going to lie about that. But he wasn't outright terrified of it anymore. He owed that to Shiro.

"Fair point." Pidge said, hopping on his hoverbike uninvited. He just softly snorted, pushing her back a little so he could get on it. "So? What's the plan, ET?"

Keith just frowned. "Right now my plan is for you to never call me that again."

Pidge just snorted. "Spoilsport. But seriously, what did you call me for?"

Keith hummed. "That's for me to know, and you to find out."

Before Pidge could protest- and he knew she would- he'd already started up his hoverbike. Darting across the desert, he made his way back to the shack. Parking his bike, he hopped off, before helping Pidge down. She passed her bag to him, and he huffed slightly, carrying it for her without complaint.

"Oh man, it feels like ages since I've been here." Pidge said, plopping down on the couch. "How have you not cleaned this place up yet?"

Keith just snorted, removing his helmet. "It's a shack. It's always going to look kind of messy. Besides, your room makes this place look like a minimalist paradise."

Tilting her head, Pidge considered his words. "Okay, that's fair."

Setting her bag down, Keith grabbed the only other chair. Sitting backwards on it, he rested his arms on the seat, curiously studying Pidge. With her cadet uniform on, she really did look like Matt. He wondered how he was doing, and quickly forced himself to think about anything else instead- his thoughts tended to drift too quickly into the negative if he allowed himself to do that.

He hadn't had any more nightmares recently, though- not since his visit to the blue lion's cavern. He wondered if it was her doing- a parting gift, maybe.

He appreciated it.

"So, how's life as _Pidge Gunderson_ treating you?" Keith asked.

"Well, I met my flight team." Pidge told him. "Hunk's nice. Lance is annoying."

Keith blinked. "Hunk. Someone on your flight team is named _Hunk_?"

Pidge just shrugged. "It might be a nickname. I haven't exactly spoken with them much outside of simulator training."

Keith hummed. He couldn't help but think it would be kind of nice if Pidge took this as a chance to make some new friends, but at the same time, there was a tiny part of him that wanted to keep his status as her best- and _only_ \- friend. "So any luck?"

Pidge frowned. "They've got their guard up since I hacked into their systems. Breaking in isn't going to be easy."

Yeah, he didn't think so.

"Anyways," Pidge quickly changed the subject, "-what was it that you wanted me to see?"

Oh, right. Getting to his feet, Keith made his way over to the corner of the main room. Yanking the cover off of what was there, he stepped back so that Pidge could get a better look. She seemed to recognize what it was right away, leaping to her feet, her eyes almost glistening in excitement.

"Is that a-?"

"A deep space radio." Keith finished. "I could never get it to work. It's a little big to move, but I thought maybe you could cannibalize it for parts. You're building a scanner, right?"

Pidge just nodded, but he got the feeling she hadn't heard a word that he'd said. She was too busy studying the radio, poking and prodding it- probably this close to tearing into it to find out what made it tick. He didn't blame her- according to Sam, the whole thing was probably a custom job.

His dad always had been good with his hands.

"Are you sure?" Pidge finally asked. "I mean, this has to be something your dad put together."

Keith just shrugged. "It's not doing me any good here. And I don't think dad would mind."

Pidge just beamed, grabbing him in a crushing embrace. He chuckled, watching as she tore herself away from him and proceeded to not display a single ounce of hesitation in pulling the radio apart. Sitting back down, he watched as she got to work, seemingly forgetting that he existed, solely focused on the task at hand.

He didn't mind.

* * *

Colleen would visit sometimes.

Whenever she did, she would bring a bag of canned goods with her- mostly fruits and vegetables, stuff he couldn't get out in the desert. He suspected she was worried about his diet breaking down again now that he was out here on his own. She didn't need to- he still caught most of his meat via hunting, but he'd learned a few things since he was a kid.

He wasn't exactly a culinary master, but he at least knew how to cook what he caught. Or _most_ of it. If he still snacked on the occasional lizard, nobody had to know.

Sometimes when she visited, Pidge would come over. He'd pick her up and drive her back to the shack, where her mother would be waiting for her. Since she was undercover, they didn't exactly get the chance to talk- so being able to bridge that gap made him happy. He knew what it was like to feel isolated.

Colleen would always insist on cooking. He didn't mind. He'd started to miss the taste of her home cooking, and it was amazing what she could do even in his tiny kitchen.

They would talk about everything that had happened since they had all gathered together last. Pidge talked the most- she always seemed to have something to say, some complaint about Commander Iverson, or some ridiculous story about her flight partners and the trouble they got into. She would talk about the progress she made in her search for answers- right now, she was trying to find out just how much the Garrison knew about the Galra.

She'd been making a lot of headway into her deep space scanner too. The feed was a bit patchy at some times, but she had gotten it up and running- and he'd been there when she had picked up her first transmission.

He'd been able to confirm that it was Galra.

He'd been worried at first, but she'd been quick to assure him that the scanner could reach all the way out to Kerberos. That was where the transmissions seemed to be coming from. Knowing that the Galra were on the fringes of their system wasn't exactly comforting, but at the very least it meant that they hadn't moved any further in.

If they came... he'd do what he could. Even if that just meant keeping Pidge and Colleen safe.

They were the only family he had left. He'd gladly protect them both with his life.

* * *

The first time he heard Pidge say the word _Voltron_ , he swore his heart nearly stopped. He nearly dropped his mug, hastily catching it before it hit the floor.

Thankfully, Pidge didn't notice. She had her back turned to him, typing away on her laptop. She was trying to work on a translation program, one that could translate Galran into English. But since all they had to go off of were the handful of words his father had taught him, it was going about as well as you'd think- in other words, not at all.

"So," Keith chewed on his lip, "-Voltron?"

"Yeah, Voltron." Pidge said. "They keep mentioning it. At first I thought it might be someone's name, or even a place, but I think... I think it's a thing."

"A thing." Keith repeated. "Do you know what kind of thing?"

"No idea." Pidge said. "But I think whatever it is, the Galra are looking for it."

Keith frowned. That much was true. He felt a little guilty, but he couldn't tell Pidge about Voltron, or about the blue lion. It wasn't that he thought he couldn't trust her- but if the Galra really did ever make it this far, it would just be better if she didn't know anything.

"I drew an artist's interpretation of it, if you wanna see it." Pidge added.

Keith arched a brow. "There's an artist here?"

"Oh ha-ha." Pidge rolled her eyes, shoving her notebook at him. "Like you're much better."

"Better than you, at least." Keith quipped, taking the notebook from her. Knowing Pidge, it was probably just a scribble she had drawn while listening to the feed, just so she could keep her hands busy. "The fire breath's a nice touch."

"That's my favorite part." Pidge told him. "I figure whatever this thing is, it has to be powerful if the Galra are looking for it."

Keith shrugged, trying to look non-committal. "Sound logic."

Passing her notebook back to her, he sat down next to her. They were on the steps of his shack, watching the sun go down. Pidge already had a blanket draped around her shoulders, tugging it a little closer. The Garrison was on break, so there was no one really around to monitor the cadets who had decided to stay behind.

"You know," Pidge began, "-Hunk saw me get on your hoverbike the other day."

Keith nearly choked, staring down at her. "He did?"

"Yu _p_." Pidge told him, popping the _p_. "Got curious where I was going all the time so he followed me. Asked me if you were my secret boyfriend."

This time Keith actually _did_ choke. Startled, Pidge patted his back until it cleared, at which point, all he could do was laugh. He knew he should be worried that someone had seen him, but this was just too funny. "Wha- what did you tell him?"

"I told him no, of course." Pidge said. "You're like my brother. Besides, I know all your gross bathroom habits. Who in their right mind would want to date you?"

"Oh, like you don't have gross bathroom habits." Keith shot back, narrowing his eyes- before cracking a grin. "At least we're not as bad as Matt."

Pidge groaned, leaning her head against his shoulder. "Don't remind me. Matt's so gross."

"The grossest." Keith agreed.

Silence hung between them then. It was comfortable, if not a melancholy one. They watched as the sun vanished beyond the horizon, taking the colors of dusk with it.

"I miss him."

He watched as the stars slowly came out, knowing that somewhere out there, there were people he cared about. "Me too."


	8. lance and hunk

Phew! So, the plan was to have this be the last chapter of desert raised, but once I hit 7,000 words and still hadn't even touched on Shiro waking up yet, I realized that maybe that wasn't going to happen. So this is now the second to last chapter, and there will be an additional chapter on the way! Hurray for bonus content! Always a boon.

* * *

 **desert raised**

 **lance and hunk**

* * *

The one downside to the helmet was that it muffled his sense of hearing. That said, it was still sharp enough to pick up on the sound of a pair of rather unsubtle pursuers.

Keith lifted his head, glancing in their direction. He caught a flash of brown and orange before they ducked behind a rock, making out a sharp uptick in the amount of noise they were making. Normally he'd be worried about there being someone following Pidge, but...

"Your flight partners?" Keith asked.

"Mm-hm." Pidge said. "They're stuck on the whole _secret boyfriend_ thing."

Keith made a face at that. "What genre do they think they're in?"

"Side characters in a pulpy romance fiction." Pidge observed, getting onto the hoverbike behind him.

Keith just snorted. "What, they don't want to be the protagonists?"

"I mean, if you ask Lance, he'd say that he's a _total_ heartthrob." Pidge said. "But trust me, I've seen his attempts at flirting. They're... innovative."

Keith couldn't help but laugh at that. He felt a little bad poking fun at someone he never met, but he trusted Pidge's judgment. Besides, it wasn't like he was ever going to actually _meet_ the guy, so what harm did it do?

"You ready?" Keith asked.

Pidge nodded, securing herself by looping her arms around his back. "Ready to get out of here. The simulator was _terrible_ today."

Keith made a sympathetic expression. "Hunk throw up in the gearbox again?"

From what he understood from Pidge, he was a brilliant engineer- just also one prone to motion sickness. He'd been inside the simulators, so he could understand how those two things might not be the greatest combination.

"No, he managed to avoid that today." Pidge said, her grip tightening as she buried her head into his back. "Can we talk about it later?"

Keith frowned, glancing down at her. For a moment, she seemed so small and weak- almost vulnerable. Whatever had made the simulator so bad today was worse than a little vomit from Hunk or a bit of showboating from Lance. He wanted to ask, but he knew Pidge would tell about it in time. He just needed to give her some space.

"Okay." Keith said. "I've got something to show you anyways."

Pidge stirred a bit at that, curiosity taking the place of whatever bit of negativity that had taken root in her. He smiled, powering the hoverbike on, leaving their little spies behind in the dust. With the helmet on and his jacket covering most of his bare skin, he didn't have to worry about them noticing that he was purple.

Pidge had been at the Garrison for a few months now, so she knew the route to the shack almost by heart. So when he veered off the usual path, she definitely noticed.

"We're not going to the shack?" She asked.

"Nope." Keith told her.

Pidge just frowned, obviously curious but willing to withhold any questions. They zipped across the desert at a good clip- he wanted to get Pidge back to the Garrison in time for the evening meal, provided she didn't let herself get _too_ distracted by what he was about to show her.

Finally, he pulled in front of a familiar cavern. "We're here."

Pidge frowned, getting off his hoverbike and looking around. "Here? Keith, there's nothing here."

Taking off his helmet, Keith just grinned, resting it on his bike. "Just wait."

She arched a brow, but otherwise waited patiently. She let out a low whistle as he shoved aside the boulder that blocked access to the caverns, and he grinned, pretending to flex.

"Ever thought about entering weight lifting competitions?" Pidge asked. "I think you could make a pretty lucrative career out of it."

"Somehow I don't think that's a good idea." Keith told her. "Besides, I'm pretty sure being half-alien is cheating."

Pidge just shrugged. "It's not against the rules."

Keith opened his mouth to say that the only reason it _wasn't_ was because no one knew about the existence of aliens, but he quickly shut it. Instead, he grabbed the flashlight that he had brought with him, tossing it to her. He'd be fine, but she might need it.

"Come on," Keith said, motioning for her to follow, "-it's in here."

Pidge caught the flashlight, glancing down at it curiously before she switched it on, following him into the caverns. He had debated for awhile about showing her them, but in the end, his desire to try and save his family won out. He still didn't know if they would be of any use- Pidge had a working long range scanner now, she didn't need the one in the scout ship, and it wasn't like there was any convenient Galra to English translator tech anywhere in the ship. He knew, he'd checked.

But if there was even a slight chance of getting it working again...

"Whoa," Pidge said, her eyes wide as the scout ships came into view, "-are these alien spaceships?"

Keith just gave her a weak grin. "They're Galra scout ships. The really damaged one is the one my mom came here in."

Turning her flashlight on it, Pidge winced at the damage. "What happened?"

Keith shook his head. "I don't know. Dad said something once about her being shot down, so I guess there was some kind of conflict."

"And the other one?" Pidge asked, turning her flashlight on it. "It looks in better shape."

Chewing on his lip, Keith considered his words for a moment. He couldn't tell Pidge everything- not about the blue lion or about Voltron. "It's a scout ship. It showed up with a few others a few months after I was born."

Pidge froze at that, glancing back at him. "Wait- did you say _others_?"

Keith nodded. "They came to scout the area, but my parents took care of them."

"Is that why she decided to leave?" Pidge asked.

"They found Earth once." Keith said. "There was a good chance that they might do it again. She left to protect it- and us."

 _Us_ being him and his father, but that wasn't something he needed to specify to Pidge. He'd never exactly talked about his background in length with either her or Matt, but it wasn't a hard conclusion to come to.

"What was her name?" Pidge asked, running a hand down the front of the scout ship. "I don't think you ever told us."

Keith blinked at that- he could have sworn he'd mentioned it at some point, but he guessed he hadn't. "Krolia," he told her, "-her name was Krolia."

" _Krolia_." Pidge repeated, sounding it out silently after saying it out loud. "I like it."

Keith gave her a faint smile. He'd expected talking about _anything_ related to the Galra to be hard, but somehow, it wasn't as difficult as he thought it would be. Maybe it was because he knew now that neither Pidge nor Colleen held it against him.

He just didn't know about anyone else.

But that was something he could worry about _after_ they had rescued everyone- if they even could. Right now they had no way of even getting up into space. Even if they were to say, hijack a ship from the Garrison, it still wouldn't get them very far.

"So if you have a spaceship, why haven't you tried flying it?" Pidge asked. "I thought you wanted to be a pilot."

Keith shook his head. "It can't fly. Dad set explosives on the intake valves to prevent them from taking off and reporting back to their command. Mom only got the one she used to leave Earth working again by cannibalizing this one and the remains of her own for parts."

Pidge grimaced, making her way towards the back of the ship. Shining her flashlight on it, she took in all of the damage that otherwise likely would have remained hidden. "I'm guessing you don't have any spare Galra parts lying around."

"Nothing that would help get it flying again." Keith told her.

Pidge hummed, assessing the damage for herself. "Did you ever show these to my dad?"

"No." Keith said. "Only to Shiro. I only know about them because my dad showed them to me about a year before he died."

Pidge frowned, running a careful hand over one of the damaged parts. "Yeah, I don't know if I can do anything to fix this. My dad could have, maybe, but..."

Her words hung in empty air, somehow feeling all the heavier due to the fact that they were in the company of Galra ships- and possibly a few dead Galra. He'd never asked, but he knew that the three scouts that had come with the ships were likely buried somewhere within the vicinity of them.

That he probably _shouldn't_ mention.

"Still, thanks." Pidge said, looking back at him. "For showing them to me. Guess this must mean you really trust me, huh?"

In the dark of the cave, Pidge couldn't see him flinch. All he could think about was that he still wasn't telling her everything- he was still hiding the existence of the blue lion from her. It wasn't that he didn't trust her, it was just... the best way to protect both it _and_ her in the event the worst should happen was to keep it a secret.

But he could understand it if she didn't see it that way.

But for now, all he did was smile. "Of course I do."

Pidge returned the smile, before she went back to studying the ships. "You don't think we can use these to pressure the Garrison, do you? Maybe I could start spreading some rumors online or something."

"Somehow I don't think that's such a good idea." Keith told her. "No offense, but I'd rather not have a bunch of so-called UFO experts crawling all over the desert. I live out here, you know."

"Mm, good point." Pidge agreed. "Somehow I don't think the Garrison would be all that happy to find out that an alien is living so close to their base."

Keith just snorted. "I'm pretty sure they'd be even less of a fan if they realized I'm the son of one of their pilots."

Pidge winced. "Yeah, that... that definitely wouldn't go over well."

Keith hummed, resting a hand on the front of his mother's scout ship. The last thing he wanted was for his father's name to be dragged through the mud. Everything Pidge had told him about the environment within the Garrison's upper command seemed to indicate that that's exactly what would happen if they found out he had relations with an alien.

He also didn't want to be found by the Garrison right now. It wasn't hard for him to guess how _that_ would go. They wouldn't even need to know that he was Galra- it would probably just be enough for them that he wasn't human- or _fully_ human, at any rate. But he doubted they'd stop to ask.

"They made a simulator based on the Kerberos failure."

Keith jerked up his head, staring at Pidge. For a second, she was so silent that he wondered if he had imagined her voice, but no. He'd heard her right.

"They- why would they do that?" Keith asked.

Pidge shook her head. "It's supposed to be a rescue mission."

Keith clenched his fist, fingerless gloves not enough to protect him from the bite of his own claws. "They made up the whole pilot error story, and now they're using it for _training_?"

"Apparently it was one of the flight instructor's ideas. I guess they didn't know." Pidge told him. "But it still means that someone from the Garrison's upper command had to sign off on it."

And _they_ probably did. Keith shut his eyes, feeling his blood boil. They had dragged Shiro's reputation through the mud, and now they were using it for _training_? Maybe he had bigger things to worry about right now, but the thought just made him sick.

He just wished he could give them a piece of his mind.

Then again... maybe he _could_.

* * *

This was a bad idea.

This was a _very_ bad idea. He knew that.

Was that going to stop him? No.

When he had told Pidge what it was that he wanted to do, she had looked at him like he was crazy. Then she had shrugged her shoulders, grinned, and told him to go for it. She'd be behind him every step of the way. If this was a terrible idea- which it was, and dangerous to boot- then at least they were in it together.

Breaking into the Galaxy Garrison had been easier than he thought it would be. It helped that everyone had gone home for the Thanksgiving holiday, so there was no one really around save for a few cadets and a scattered handful of officers. As long as he was careful, he'd be fine. He had absolutely no plans to get caught.

Besides- he had done this with Shiro a few times before. And he had Pidge.

Still, he didn't miss how unthinkable this would have been even a year or two ago. Granted, the primary force driving him now was spite. That was a powerful motivator, he'd found, and he knew it had very little, if anything, to do with his Galra blood.

 _This_ was all human.

"Okay, you're all set up." Pidge told him over the coms. "Are you sure about this?"

"No." Keith told her truthfully. "But we've come too far to back out now."

He couldn't see her, but he knew Pidge well enough to know that she had just shrugged. "Suit yourself. But are you sure you can actually do it? We've got some really good cadets this year."

"I broke a record once." Keith told her. "Shiro had to erase it, but I did. I'm pretty sure I can do it again."

Pidge hummed. "Fair enough. The scores you'll want to beat are Griffin and Rizavi's. Leifsdottir and Kinkade are both up there too, but there's still a pretty significant gap between their skill levels."

"I know who none of those people are, but thanks, I'll keep that in mind." Keith told her.

Pidge just snorted. "Just remember the signal."

"I won't forget." Keith assured her. They had agreed on a signal ahead of time, so that if he needed to bail, he'd know. "I don't exactly want to end up strapped to an operating table. Being dissected isn't really one of my hobbies."

"I'd be worried if it was." Pidge said.

Pulling off his helmet, Keith set it down in his lap. Gripping the simulator controls, Keith tested them out- it had been awhile since he had last been in here- not since before the Kerberos launch. Things had been so busy that Shiro had never found the chance to sneak him in again.

He honestly never thought he'd be back here. Somehow it seemed only right that it was Shiro that had drawn him back.

The plan was pretty simple. He'd sneak into one of the single pilot simulators, and best the record for the Kerberos simulation. But he wouldn't put his own name in. No, he was here to act as a ghost- _Shiro's_ ghost.

He was going to put Shiro's name in.

Sure, Pidge could just hack the system and put Shiro's name in. That was an option too. But this was easier and a lot less likely to be tracked back to her. Besides, it was way more satisfying to do it himself.

The whole thing reeked of pettiness. It wasn't like this was going to change anything. He was well aware of that fact. They both were. Was that going to stop them? Still no.

The hardest part was actually _setting_ the record in the first place. He had talent, but a few successful runs in the simulator hardly made him a trained pilot. It didn't even make him a pilot in training- but he had his instincts, and what's more he had determination- that, and spite. Lots of spite.

He _also_ had time. Pidge had made sure of that.

His first two runs were dedicated solely to get used to the new sim routine. He tried not to think about what it represented, and just focused on completing it instead. It was pretty challenging- like the Garrison had designed it to be as difficult as possible.

Maybe they had. They knew they weren't alone anymore.

Halfway through his fourth run, Pidge's voice came over the coms. "Keith? We _may_ have a small problem."

Keith frowned. She didn't so much distressed as she did annoyed, and she hadn't given the signal either. Whatever this problem was, it likely wasn't urgent. "What's the problem?"

"Okay, how can I put this?" Pidge sighed, and he could almost visualize her pinching the bridge of her nose. "Lance is here."

Keith blinked. "Lance? Your flight partner?"

"Yep, that's the one." Pidge told him, sounding slightly exasperated. "He got into the simulator next to you. I disconnected sim to sim communication and screen-sharing, so he won't be able to contact you, but just so you're aware, I thought I should tell you."

Keith hummed, navigating around one of the many sharp turns on the course. "Thanks for the warning."

Pidge just grumbled. "I knew he hadn't gone home, but I didn't expect to see him here. He usually _never_ practices on weekends!"

All he knew about Lance was that he thought of himself as a hotshot pilot, despite being in the bottom rung of the fighter pilot class. He had heard plenty of stories from Pidge about how he would overestimate his own abilities and end up crashing.

"Maybe something fired him up?" Keith suggested.

"Maybe." Pidge frowned. "Iverson _did_ chew us out pretty good the other day."

"Maybe that's it." Keith told her, letting out a long breath as he successfully landed his craft. Still not good enough to break the current record, but he was getting there. What he lacked in experience, he more than made up for in reflexes, but just those alone weren't enough to completely compensate for it- just having talent meant nothing if you didn't work for it.

Shiro had taught him that.

He closed his eyes, for a moment, visualizing him standing behind him, watching his progress. He didn't know if he would approve of what he was doing- in fact, he was pretty sure he _wouldn't_. But it didn't change the fact that he was doing this for him.

He wasn't about to let the Garrison forget about him anytime soon.

For the most part, he forgot about Lance. He focused solely on breaking that record- by his eighth run, he had started to get pretty annoyed at that _N. Rizavi_ at the top of the list. But he used that annoyance to motivate him, and ten runs in, he got what he came here for.

Shiro's name, on top.

Grinning, Keith took a moment to savor the feeling. Maybe it wouldn't change anything. Maybe it was for his own self-satisfaction. It didn't matter. He'd set out to do it, and he'd done it, and right now, that was the most important thing.

Actually, he'd take that back- right now the most important thing was getting out of the Garrison without anyone noticing him. Picking up his helmet, he tugged it on, grateful that he had both the caution and the forethought to wear a shirt with a high neck rather than his usual black t-shirt, and _actual_ gloves this time, as opposed to his favorite fingerless ones. There was barely any skin left visible.

 _"Love the new look, Keith. Going for suspicious chic?"_

He swallowed, the unexpected memory hitting him hard. He wondered where Matt was now- if he was even still alive.

He hurriedly shook it off. He _had_ to believe that they were all still alive, or he didn't know if he could do this. Maybe it was selfish of him, but he didn't want to lose what tiny amount of family he had.

"Okay Pidge, I'm headed out." Keith told her. "Am I clear?"

"You're clear." Pidge told him. "Lance is still busy with the simulator."

"Copy that." Keith said. Ducking his head, he exited the simulator, pausing to spare a glance up towards the observation room. Pidge caught sight of him, waving at him with an impish grin. He lifted a hand in response, and she beamed a little brighter- before freezing, suddenly looking behind him.

"Hey!"

Muffled hearing. Right. He'd forgotten. He hadn't even heard Lance leave his simulator. Slowly turning on his heel, he came face to face with Pidge's flight partner, the first time he had ever seen him up close.

And wow, was he ever _close_. Hadn't this guy ever heard of personal space?

"You're not a cadet! You're Pidge's boyfriend!"

Out of all the things he could have said- it was all Keith could do to choke back his own laughter. Or at least, he _tried_ to. Judging from the way Lance's brows tangled together in annoyance, and the fact that he was, you know, actually laughing, he was going to say he'd failed. Spectacularly, in fact.

"What's so funny?" Lance demanded. "You're not even supposed to be in here."

Oh. Right. Getting caught was bad.

Keith held up his hands. "I was just about to leave. Also, I'm _not_ Pidge's boyfriend."

Lance opened his mouth to say something, before snapping it shut. "You're not?"

"I'm not." Keith assured him. "We're just friends."

"Well, there goes that theory I guess." Lance mumbled, mostly to himself. "What are you doing here anyways? Did Pidge sneak you in?"

"Yes, Lance, I snuck him in." Pidge said, causing them both to jump. He peered behind him- sure enough, Pidge had come down from the observation room, and was now standing behind him. "He wanted to see the simulators. We were both about to leave."

Lance frowned. "Well, okay. Guess I can't lecture you about stuff being off limits."

"After all the times you've sneaked out of the Garrison to mess around in town?" Pidge asked. "I don't think so."

"That's fair." Lance shrugged. "What's with the helmet, though?"

"He has a skin condition." Pidge said, before he could get a word in edgewise. "It's personal."

He had to bite down on his tongue to keep from laughing. Pidge glared at him, able to tell even if she couldn't see his face. Matt was right. Little sisters _were_ terrifying.

Lance on the other hand just blanched, buying it completely. He almost felt bad. _Almost_. "Oh. Uh, sorry man. Didn't mean to pry."

"It's fine." Keith said.

"Anyways," Pidge cleared her throat, "-like I said, we should be going now. _Right_ , Keith?"

Glancing down at her, Keith couldn't help but smile. He knew she was being so insistent because she was worried about him- and he couldn't help but be a little touched by that. "Yeah. Guess we should."

He let Pidge escort him out of the simulator room. After pausing to make sure the halls were empty, she lead him back the way they had come, not stopping until they were outside the building. Only then did Pidge let her shoulders slump, finally releasing his hand.

"That was _too_ close." Pidge said.

"So... skin condition, huh?" Keith asked.

Pidge rolled her eyes, elbowing him in the side. "Oh shut up. You're purple. That qualifies."

"Sound logic." Keith said, folding his arms in front of him. "You really helped me out there, Pidge. Thanks."

"Anytime." She told him. "Though _maybe_ we shouldn't do this again."

"Oh yeah, agreed." Keith said. "Totally."

"It _was_ pretty fun though." Pidge said. "At least, _I_ had fun. Can you even imagine the look on Iverson's face when he comes back from the holiday and sees Shiro's name?"

"I don't know what Iverson looks like, so no," Keith deadpanned, "-I can't."

"Hm," Pidge frowned, "-fair point."

Keith smiled, idly ruffling Pidge's hair, ignoring her squawk of protest. "You just be sure to tell me all about it, squirt."

Pidge rolled her eyes. "Ugh. I'm starting to regret giving you big brother privileges."

"Too late," Keith grinned, "-can't take them back now."

"Wouldn't dream of it, furball." Pidge teased.

"Hey, I only had fur _once_!"

* * *

He woke to the sound of water.

It was a faint pitter-patter, like raindrops on the roof of the shack. Yawning, Keith pulled back the curtains above his bed, peering out into the night. Oh. It sounded like rain because it _was_ rain.

Weird. It didn't normally rain during this season, and there hadn't been any sign of it in the forecast. Something about it made his spine tingle, like something was calling him. Still half-asleep, it took him awhile to recognize that something _was_.

The blue lion.

Eyes going wide, he all but threw himself out of bed. Pausing long enough to tug on his boots and jacket, Keith made his way out into the desert. The rainfall was gentle, not enough for him to need an umbrella, and he suspected that the blue lion had something to do with it.

Ever since he'd returned to the desert, she'd been silent. He didn't know why she was calling for him now. He didn't think it was because the Galra had found her. Otherwise this all would have felt a lot more urgent than it did.

A light coating of water clung to his hair and skin by the time he made it to the blue lion's cavern. Making his way down inside, he followed the long memorized path to where she lay hidden. Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see ghosts- of his parents, of himself when he had been much younger. Fragments of the past, from times long gone by.

Maybe it was just the strange hour that was causing him to see things. He didn't know. Whatever it was, it didn't frighten him. The blue lion would never hurt him.

She was waiting for him there when he arrived, manifested in the form of a large blue lioness. Gleaming golden eyes watched him as he made his way towards her, but otherwise she didn't stir.

"I didn't think you'd call for me." Keith admitted.

The blue lion purred, soft and reassuring. Her paladin was close now. Closer than ever before. Connecting to another was becoming more difficult as a result, and would soon likely become impossible. He felt a pang of regret at the thought, and it took him a second to realize that it was coming from the blue lion, not from him.

Oh. She would miss him too.

"Is that why you called?" Keith asked. "Because tonight will be the last time?"

Again, the blue lion purred. Her paladin would be coming, soon. But so would another's- unbidden, the image of a lion surfaced in his mind, one that he recognized as the black lion. For a second he felt nothing but dread, recalling that the black lion had once been Zarkon's, but the blue lion quieted it, reassuring him that it was no occasion to fear, but an occasion of joy- of hope.

 _He comes_ , the blue lion purred, - _he means to keep his promise to you_.

He didn't understand, not at first. Then unbidden, another memory took hold of him- of Shiro, of the pinky promise that they had made the first day they had met.

Shiro. Shiro was coming back.

"Wha- when? _How_?!" Keith demanded. "He was- the Galra captured him."

That she did not know. She only knew what she had sensed from the black lion. Shiro was coming. He would be here soon.

He didn't even question how the black lion knew that. He didn't question much of anything. He just remembered embracing the blue lion, his arms finding grip on something that wasn't really there. He didn't question that either.

 _Tomorrow_ , the blue lion promised, _tomorrow night. He comes. He will need you_.

Before he could question how, he was back in his bed again. For a second, he thought it had all just been a dream, but then he heard it- the sound of rain on the roof of the shack, and he knew that it had been very real.

Shiro was coming home.

* * *

"So let me get this straight," even over the walkie-talkie, the disbelief in Pidge's voice was audible, "-you had a _vision_."

Keith's frowned. "I know it sounds crazy, but-"

He didn't exactly expect Pidge to believe him that easily. She never exactly mocked him for his more superstitious beliefs, but she was a person of _science_ , for all that she enjoyed her cryptids. Maybe it was just because he had grown up in the vicinity of the blue lion, but he tended to be connected a bit more to the spiritual side of things.

"I didn't say that." Pidge cut him off. "I mean, okay, it sounds a _little_ crazy, but what do we have to lose if we believe in it?"

There was a slight pause after that, and Pidge added, "-just so long as you're sure it's not heat stroke."

"It's not heat stroke, Pidge." Keith told her. "Trust me."

Pidge hummed, taking it into consideration. "Alright, how about this? I'll monitor things from up on top of the Garrison's roof tonight. If something happens, I'll let you know."

"What should we do if it _is_ Shiro?" Keith asked. He was certain it would be. He didn't see why the blue lion would lie to him.

"Not sure." Pidge admitted. "Standard Garrison procedure is to quarantine anyone that might have come into contact with alien pathogens, which Shiro almost definitely has. If it _is_ Shiro, they'll probably get to him first."

Keith grunted in agreement. "The vision made it sound like he needed us."

"Okay, I'll take that under consideration." Pidge said, before pausing. "You mentioned something about explosives before. Any chance you might have a few of those still lying around?"

She couldn't see it, but Keith was looking at the walkie-talkie like it- and Pidge- were crazy. There _were_ a few leftover, that his mom had left with his dad in the event of an emergency. "You want me to blow up the Garrison?"

"Wha- no, I don't want you to blow up the Garrison!" Pidge sputtered, vaguely offended. "They just might make a good distraction, that's all. _Blow up the Garrison_ \- is that what you think of me, Keith? That I would seriously blow up the Galaxy Garrison?"

Keith just snorted. "Like you wouldn't if you thought you had to."

"Okay fine, you're right." Pidge said. "But so would you."

"I never said I _wouldn't_." Keith told her. "Keep in touch. If something lands tonight, we'll rendezvous at those coordinates and figure it out from there."

"Sounds like a plan." Pidge told him. "I mean, not much of one, but still."

"Just be sure not to get caught." Keith warned her, and then, after a pause, he added, "-or followed."

He could almost hear Pidge roll her eyes. "Please. I'm pretty sure Lance and Hunk have lost complete interest in me since they learned that I in fact, do not have a secret biker boyfriend. There's no way they'll follow me."

* * *

"So," Keith began, "-there's no way, huh?"

"Not a word." Pidge snapped. "Let's just focus on getting Shiro out of here."

Keith just shrugged. He'd be lying if he said that the addition of Pidge's flight partners to their little rescue group didn't worry him, but right now he had other things to focus on- namely getting Shiro out of here.

He'd believed what the blue lion had told him, but even he had to admit that there was still a part of him that had been stunned to discover a very alive, very real Shiro strapped to the table inside the impromptu quarantine tent. Pidge had been right about them getting there first- and she'd been right about the explosives serving as a good distraction. The Garrison had sent most of their guards to investigate the blasts, leaving behind only a few med-techs to deal with. Taking them out hadn't been difficult.

He just... hadn't expected his rescue to be interrupted. Lance had barged in, with Pidge in hot pursuit, and Hunk in... not so much hot pursuit, but just not wanting to be left behind. Now all three of them, plus Shiro, were loaded up on his hoverbike, which was struggling to stay aloft with all of the extra weight, a fact that he was keen to remind Lance of when he'd had the nerve to ask if it could go any faster.

It wasn't until they escaped pursuit that he afforded a glance behind him. Shiro was still out cold, likely sedated. He'd get the full story from Pidge later.

Speaking of full stories... his gaze darted up towards Lance and Hunk, a tight frown on his lips. He didn't like the idea of bringing them back to the shack, but right now he didn't have a choice. He couldn't exactly make a side trip to deposit them back at the Garrison when they were running _away_ from the Garrison. He was just going to have to trust that this wouldn't backfire on him horribly.

In a way, it was the worst possible combination. Based off of what he knew from Pidge, Hunk was nice but nosy, and Lance was loud and _terrible_ at keeping secrets.

And yet, at the same time... part of him couldn't help but wonder if this was really all just coincidence. Maybe there was a reason they had all been brought together.

He shook it off- or tried to. He had been thinking a little more about the lions, lately- not the lions of Voltron, but the little ones he had carved out of rock. The ones the blue lion had told him to paint red, green, and black respectively. He had spent most of that morning carving two others- one that he painted blue, and the other yellow. He figured he might as well complete the set. Now he was bringing two complete strangers back to his shack, plus Shiro.

He didn't know what to think. Did that mean they were paladins? Did that mean _he_ was a paladin?

Him? He was _Galra_ , or at least half. He was _part_ of the race that was destroying the universe. How could _he_ be a paladin? That didn't sound right.

By the time they had arrived at the shack, he had resolved not to think about it. He'd let fate take its course, whatever that might be. It had taken Shiro away from him, but it had also brought him back- hopefully for a reason.

"We're here." Keith announced.

Behind him, Lance squinted. "This is just a shack."

Keith frowned, bristling a little at the comment. It wasn't _just_ a shack. It was his home.

But instead of snapping, he just ignored him. Pidge was all but grateful to relieve her burden to him, and he scooped Shiro up in his arms like he weighed practically nothing. He tried extremely hard not to dwell on his shiny new metal arm.

It wasn't hard to guess how he had gotten it.

Lance and Hunk remained where they were, exchanging an awkward glance with one another. After a moment, Keith heaved a sigh, rolling his eyes. "You might as well come in."

The pair wasted almost no time in accepting the invitation. He had barely even laid Shiro down on the couch, but they were already starting to poke around the shack, not even attempting to mask their curiosity. It was only then that he remembered the photographs that he had taken from Shiro's apartment- the ones that he had since set up in the shack- but thankfully, Pidge had him covered, discreetly hiding them.

He shot her a grateful look, but he knew it wouldn't last. Right now his helmet was protecting him from any prying eyes, but even with the excuse of having some kind of a skin condition, he could only wear it for so long.

"So... _Keith_ , right?" Lance asked, finally addressing him.

For a second, he wondered where he had learned his name- before he recalled Pidge had mentioned it the one time they had met. "Yeah?"

Lance was staring at his helmet. Hunk was also staring at his helmet. They weren't even being _subtle_ about it. He drew into himself like he hadn't in years, defensively crossing his arms in front of him. Pidge must have sensed how uncomfortable he was, because she quickly inserted herself between the three of them.

"You two can head back to the Garrison any time you like, you know." Pidge pointed out. "You don't have to stick around."

"What, and just go back and pretend like nothing happened?" Lance scoffed. "I don't think so. We just rescued Shiro! _Shiro_! The guy's practically my idol!"

" _I_ rescued Shiro." Keith pointed out. "You just came along for the ride."

"Hey, we would have worked something out even if you _hadn't_ shown up." Lance said, almost defensively. "Who exactly _are_ you anyways?"

"Like Pidge said," Keith told him, "-I'm," he stopped himself short of saying _her_ , vaguely recalling that she had adopted a male identity at the Garrison, "- _his_ friend."

"I, for one, think we should all just calm down a little." Hunk said. "Cool our heads, maybe get a bite to eat. I'm Hunk, by the way. Nice to uh," and his gaze once more unsubtly darted up to his helmet, "-nice to meet you, I guess."

"Nice to meet you too." Keith mumbled, sinking into himself a bit more.

This was ridiculous. This was his _home_. He shouldn't have to hide himself _here_ of all places. And yet here he was, doing exactly that.

Pidge glanced apologetically in his direction. "I didn't mean to bring them along, but they followed me. Sorry."

Keith just shook his head. It wasn't her fault. "Look, there's still probably time to take the two of you back to the Garrison before anyone notices you're missing."

"Un-huh," Lance said, sounding skeptical, "-and just leave Shiro here with some weird desert hermit?"

He nearly opened his mouth to protest that, but quickly shut it. As much as it pained him to admit, Lance had a point. He _was_ a weird desert hermit.

"Hey, Keith is my friend." Pidge snapped. "You can trust him."

In spite of himself, Keith smiled. Something about the sheer amount of trust Pidge had in him never failed to make him happy. The mood didn't last long, though- his gaze quickly turned towards Shiro, unable to keep himself from wondering if he would feel the same way. Just his right arm alone was testament enough to the suffering he had gone through at the hands of the Galra.

What if... what if Shiro didn't want him around anymore? He'd get it. He would. But the idea of losing Shiro just after he got him back... he didn't know if he could stand it.

"Also uh," Hunk piped up, drawing his attention back to the conversation, "-I'm pretty sure we _can't_ go back to the Garrison. They probably have our faces on video."

Keith blinked, glancing down towards Pidge- who silently swore underneath her breath. "Shit. You're right."

Oh. Keith swallowed, dread forming in the pit of his stomach. If they couldn't go back to the Garrison, that meant they would have to stay _here_ , at least until they had figured things out. And he didn't know if he could hide for that long.

Pidge must have caught his train of thought, because she was looking up at him, concern visible in her features. He gave her another grateful smile, even if he knew she couldn't see it with his helmet on. At least he wasn't facing this alone.

"Fine," Keith said, "-you can stay. I'm going to get changed."

With that, he shut himself inside the tiny bedroom area. There wasn't actually a door- just a cloth that separated the two areas. Hopefully neither Lance or Hunk were nosy enough to play peeping tom- not that Pidge would let them even if they were.

With slightly shaking hands, he removed his helmet, setting it down on his bed. He caught his reflection on the window, slightly glowing yellow eyes staring back at him. He wished at least his pupils were visible, but it wasn't like he could command his third eyelid at will- it just didn't work like that.

Quickly changing out of the dark, concealing clothes that he had used to infiltrate the Garrison's quarantine, he tugged on his usual t-shirt and jacket, fingers brushing over the material of the latter. He wondered if Shiro would even _want_ to see him in the present that he had bought for him before he'd left- or if he'd even want to see him at all.

He shut his eyes, shaking off the thought. The blue lion said that Shiro needed him. There had to be a reason for that.

Pulling on his usual gloves, Keith paused to double check that his knife was still there. He would have hated to have dropped it somewhere in all the chaos, but thankfully, it was right where it always was, sheathed in his father's old hilt. He lingered for a second longer, gaze once more fixing on his reflection in the window, before he tore his eyes away, sucking in a long breath as if to steel himself.

He paused only long enough to dig out a change of clothes for Shiro. He was pretty sure he'd appreciate not having to wear prisoner rags.

"Hey," Keith said as he entered the shack's living room, trying to sound as casual as possible, "-I brought Shiro a change of clothes."

Unsurprisingly, it didn't help.

Lance's jaw dropped at the sight of him. " _No way_."

Hunk wasn't much better. He just stared, mouth slightly agape. "You're an alien."

"I'm _not_ an alien." Keith insisted. He was usually fine with it, but for some reason, being labeled as an alien right now really rankled with him.

"Not an- how can you _not_ be an alien?" Lance asked, gesturing wildly at the whole of him. "You're _purple_. And don't try and tell me that's a just a skin condition!"

"Well, technically..." Pidge trailed off.

"Look," Keith said, setting down the spare set of clothes on the table, "-my mom was, but I was born here, on Earth. My dad was human. _I'm_ human."

"So what you're saying is, you're an alien." Lance said. "Right, got it."

Keith twitched. "I just said I _wasn't_ an alien."

"Okay, geez, no need to get so upset." Lance said, rolling his eyes. "So what? Have you and Pidge been spying on the Garrison or something? Wait, is Pidge an alien too?"

"I'm not an alien." Pidge said flatly.

"Does this have something to do with the Kerberos mission?" Hunk asked. "Because uh, Pidge seemed pretty interested in it back up on the roof, so..."

"This has everything to do with the Kerberos mission." Pidge said. "It never crashed. They were taken."

"Okay, so aliens abducted the Kerberos mission, I got that. _Crazy_ , but I got it." Lance said. "But where does Keith come in? And is Keith even your real name?"

Rolling his eyes, Keith fought the urge to groan. "Yes, it's my real name. Like I said, I was born here."

"Keith's been helping me gather information." Pidge told them, shooting a glare at Lance, before she looked back towards him. "Speaking of which, I was watching the feed from those cameras. Shiro mentioned Voltron."

Keith narrowed his eyes. He'd never told Shiro about Voltron, so there was only one way he could have possibly heard about it. "You're sure?"

Pidge nodded. "Yeah. He was saying something about how we needed to find it."

"He was _also_ saying that aliens were coming. Let's not forget that." Hunk chimed in, before looking at him oddly. "You know. _Other_ than Keith here."

Groaning, Keith pinched the bridge of his nose. At least they weren't freaking out, he guessed. Still, he wasn't sure if this was really better than the alternative.

"Look," Keith said, "-I'm going to keep tabs on the perimeter. Pidge, do you think you can let me know when Shiro starts to wake up?"

Pidge gave him a sympathetic look. "Don't worry, I'll be sure to let you know."

"Thanks." Keith told her, before glancing over towards Hunk and Lance. Heaving a short sigh, he headed outside the shack. This was _not_ how he'd planned for this day to go.

But at least Shiro was back.

* * *

"Hey uh, you okay?"

Glancing up, Keith blinked. Of all the people to come talk to him, he didn't think it would be Hunk.

"Yeah," he half-lied, "-fine. Hunk, right?"

"That's me." Hunk said. "Is it okay if I sit here?"

Frowning, Keith shrugged his shoulders. "Fine by me. But are you sure _you_ want to be out here with me? After all, I'm an _alien_."

Hunk winced. "Yeah, sorry about that. It's just... today's been kind of a crazy day."

Well, at least he was apologizing. Scooting over a bit to give Hunk more room, Keith watched as he sat down. He'd heard from Pidge that he was nice, but he guessed that was true. It wasn't like he could even blame them for reacting the way they had- he'd just been so used to being accepted as a normal part of life for Shiro and the Holts that somehow he had managed to forget what he looked like.

Or close enough, at any rate.

"Sorry we busted up your big rescue." Hunk said. "And for freeloading at your place, I guess."

"Pidge is right." Keith said. "If you go back to the Garrison now, they won't go easy on you, even if you are cadets. They've threatened her with treason before."

Hunk blinked. "Her?"

Swearing underneath his breath, Keith winced. Right. Fake identity. He'd nearly forgotten. It _had_ been a long day. "Any chance you can forget I said that?"

Hunk held up his hands. "Hey, it's fine. I've been kind of suspecting it for awhile now. Pretty sure Lance is the only one who doesn't know."

Keith arched a brow. "And you never felt the need to mention it?"

Hunk just shrugged. "Just because I can be kind of nosy doesn't mean I've got loose lips. I just figured she had a reason for it. Guess she did."

Fixing his gaze upwards, Keith narrowed his eyes. "Yeah."

Even though the blue lion hadn't mentioned anything about them, he'd still been hoping that Sam and Matt would be with Shiro when he got here, but he'd been alone. Maybe there was still a chance that Shiro knew something about their whereabouts.

He hoped so. He had his brother back. Pidge deserved hers too- him and her father.

"So," Hunk began, tapping his fingers on his knees, "-do you know about this _Voltron_ thing? I think Shiro said something about it being a weapon before, you know, the Garrison put him under."

"What did he say, exactly?" Keith asked.

"Uh..." Hunk trailed off. "I think he said that there were aliens coming, and that they were looking for a weapon. That we needed to find Voltron before they did."

That was exactly what he was afraid of. The Galra? Coming here? Even if it was just one ship, the Garrison's forces wouldn't stand a chance. They would all be wiped out, and the Galra would be free to track down the blue lion.

He couldn't let that happen.

When Shiro woke up, whatever happened, he'd bring him- and the others- to the blue lion. He was starting to think that was what she meant by him needing his help. If that was his role to play, then he'd do it- if it meant keeping Earth safe, then he would do anything.

It was his home too.

"I know." Keith told Hunk frankly. "I also know how to find it."

"So what, are you and your mom like, it's guardians or something?" Hunk asked, before frowning, eyes darting around the area. If he didn't know any better, he would say he almost looked nervous. "Where _is_ she, by the way? Is she here?"

Keith shook his head. "She left a long time ago."

"Oh," Hunk's frown deepened, "-sorry man."

Keith just gave him a weak smile, about to tell him that it was okay, when the door creaked open. Glancing behind him, he caught sight of Pidge, who blinked in surprise at seeing Hunk out here with him, before she shook her head, locking eyes with him.

"Shiro's waking up."


	9. red lion

And here we are, at the end of another installment of this series! Book ends, so to speak! For now, my immediate plans for continuation involve a oneshot from Allura's POV that covers roughly around this period of time (and probably extending a bit into the second canon episode). After that, I'll be taking a break for awhile while I come up with a concrete plan as to how I want to move forward, because of course, there's always more to write!

Thanks for sticking with me! I hope you enjoy the final chapter!

* * *

 **desert raised**

 **red lion**

* * *

He felt warm.

Keith closed his eyes, taking a moment to savor the feeling. It wasn't just the rising sun that brought the sensation of warmth with it, banishing away the chill of the night air. It was something else, something far more personal.

Shiro _didn't_ hate him.

Shiro had embraced him, held him tight. Told him that nothing had changed between the two of them. They could have easily been lies, but he knew they weren't.

Shiro had made a pinky promise, after all. He would never lie to him.

 _"But the one thing I wouldn't give up is having you as my brother, Keith."_

He clung to those words like they were a light in the darkness. Shiro was _home_. He was safe. Cracking an eye open, his ears twitched, making out the sound of water running in the bathroom, the sound of Shiro taking a well deserved and long overdue shower. He had already set out some clothes for him- old clothes that used to belong to his dad once, that he hoped would fit.

There was a knock on the shack door, and Keith opened both eyes. "You can come in."

Seconds later, Pidge entered, Lance and Hunk trailing behind her. He offered them a strained smile, keeping his mouth closed so that he didn't show off his fangs. He didn't think he looked _that_ scary, but he also didn't know how much Pidge had told them.

Hunk gave him a nervous smile back, while Lance just sort of glowered at him. But seeing as he'd been doing that almost since the start, he guessed it didn't necessarily meant anything bad. Besides, this was _Pidge_ he was talking about here- she could be pretty blunt when she wanted to be, but he doubted she would tell them anything that would cause them to be _afraid_ of him.

Or _hate_ him, he guessed. Maybe he _should_ worry about that. But honestly? He'd worn himself out worrying about whether or not Shiro hated him. He didn't have the energy left to do that song and dance all over again, even if it was just with people he barely even knew.

"Where's Shiro?" Pidge asked.

"In the shower." Keith told her. "Figured he needed one before we set out."

Pidge blinked. "Set out?"

Keith nodded. "There's something I need to show you. _All_ of you."

He looked towards Lance and Hunk as said that, but they didn't seem to notice. In spite of himself, he huffed. Right. His pupils were basically invisible now. He'd gotten used to being around people who knew how to read where he was looking in spite of that, so it had kind of slipped his mind that it wasn't always that obvious.

Thinking back on it, it had always been that. Maybe if he'd grown up around other people, he would have learned to overcompensate for the lack of visible pupils, but with his dad, that had never been a problem. He'd learned to adjust instead.

So had everyone else.

Weird. He didn't know why he was just realizing that _now_.

"Does this have anything to do with that Voltron thing everyone keeps mentioning?" Hunk asked. He sounded... nervous, but no more so than he had before.

"Something like that." Keith told him, giving him a weak smile, again with no teeth. "It's easier if I show you."

"How long do you think it'll take the Galra to catch up to Shiro?" Pidge asked.

"I don't know." Keith admitted, shaking his head. "Everything I know about the Galra comes from secondhand knowledge, some of which is at least ten thousand years old. I'm not exactly the most reliable source of information."

"Wait," Lance cut in, arching a brow, "-I thought _you_ were Galra."

Keith's gaze flickered over towards Pidge, who just shrugged. Heaving a sigh, he had to admit it was probably better to get that out into the air now rather than later, so he guessed he was grateful she had taken the burden of that admission away from him.

"I am." Keith said. "But only half. Like I keep saying, I was born and raised here. On Earth. I'm _human_."

"But you're-!"

"Lance, buddy," Hunk interjected, resting a hand on his friend's shoulder, "-maybe if Keith keeps insisting he's human, we should just accept what he says."

Lance grumbled, but eventually heaved a sigh. "Okay, fine. You're right. My bad."

Keith blinked, tilting his head. Huh. Maybe Lance wasn't actually so bad.

"I just can't believe that Pidge knew about all this cool alien stuff," Lance pressed on, "-and didn't tell _me_ about it!"

"You made fun of me when I talked about alien radio chatter back on the roof." Pidge pointed out. "Remember? You called me crazy."

Narrowing his eyes, Keith glared at Lance. On second thought...

"And I stand by that." Lance shrugged, indifferent to both his glare and Pidge's dry tone. "But that was then, and this is now. I'm not so small-minded that I can deny the evidence that's right in front of me."

Hunk gave them both a sheepish, vaguely apologetic grin. If everyone gathered here really was meant to be a paladin, then he hoped _Hunk_ was the one meant to fly the blue lion. He didn't know if he could stand the idea of handing his oldest friend over to _Lance_.

But he guessed it also wasn't his call.

"Hey, just curious," Hunk piped up, "-were you two the ones behind that simulator prank? Because I remember Commander Iverson being pretty pissed about it, and you do kind of have a motive, so..."

In spite of himself, Keith smirked, exchanging a glance with Pidge. There was a downright impish grin on her face, not even masking the pleasure she took in it.

"Yeah," she said, "-that was us."

"What's this about a prank now?" Shiro asked, stepping out of the bedroom, a towel still draped over his shoulders.

He opened his mouth to answer, only to pause, instead staring up at Shiro. Oh. He knew that he looked a bit similar to his father, but he hadn't expected his old clothes to fit him _that_ well. For a moment, he was almost thrown out of time, like he wasn't here, but was back when it had just been him and his dad.

He quickly shook it off. His dad was gone now. He couldn't get him- or that time- back. And if he didn't do something about the Galra, so would everyone else he cared about.

"Well, they put together a simulator run that was a rescue mission for the Kerberos mission." Pidge supplied. "Considering the fact that they were hiding the truth about it, it really ticked the both of us off. So we decided to do something about it!"

Shiro frowned, a strained expression on his face, like he was trying to withhold judgement until he heard the full story. "What did you two do?"

Keith just shrugged. "We put your name on top."

"Shiro's ghost, come to haunt the Garrison." Pidge grinned. "Or at least, that was what the rumor was after everyone saw your name on top of the list of high scores for that run."

Shiro stared blankly at them, like he couldn't quite process what he was hearing, but was sort of wishing he _wasn't_ hearing it. "You _what_."

"We had to do _something_." Keith grumbled. That had been months ago now, and he was _still_ bitter about it. "They blamed the Kerberos failure on you. Said it was pilot error. That you _crashed_."

Closing his eyes, Shiro pinched the bridge of his nose. "And when Katie said you helped...?"

Ah. He saw where this was going now. Shiro wasn't mad that they had pranked the Garrison's upper command, at least, not enough that it counted. Shiro was mad because he'd broken into the Garrison (almost) by himself. "Look, I just-"

"Just what, Keith?" Shiro asked. "What if someone saw you? Or worse, caught you?"

"Nobody saw-"

"Uh, _I_ saw you." Lance chimed in.

Narrowing his eyes, he glared at Lance, having to try very hard to fight the urge to growl. "Nobody _important_ saw me."

"Hey!" Lance protested. "I'm _very_ important!"

"You sure are, buddy." Hunk said, patting Lance reassuringly on the shoulder. "But I don't think that's what Keith meant."

"I had my helmet on anyways. It wasn't like anyone could tell." Keith said. "Plus Pidge was with me, so it's not like I went alone."

And as far as he was concerned, it had totally been worth the risk.

"Plus it was a holiday, so pretty much everyone was gone." Pidge added.

Shiro heaved a long sigh, looking between the two of them. "Just... promise me you won't do that again. If the Garrison knows that me and the rest of the Kerberos crew were picked up by aliens, they're going to be on the lookout for anything of that nature. And you're..."

Staring down at his feet, Keith knew that Shiro had a point. He knew that he was also only saying this because he was worried. Still, there was some part of him that couldn't help but chafe at it- just how long was his freedom going to be restricted by his appearance? He thought he would be used to the idea that he couldn't ever have a normal life by now, but somehow with each passing year, it just chafed at him more.

"I know." Keith mumbled. "I'm sorry."

Shiro's shoulders slumped, a faint smile on his face. "And? How did Iverson take this prank of yours?"

"He turned pale like he saw a ghost." Pidge quickly informed him, beaming from ear to ear. "Demanded to know who did it. I'd say you should have been there, but..."

"But if I was there, then there wouldn't have been any need for the prank?" Shiro finished. "Well, I'm here now."

Looking up, Keith locked eyes with him. Shiro caught them, his smile only growing- and he felt one creep onto his face as well. "Good to have you back."

"Good to _be_ back." Shiro said. "So? You said you had something to show me."

Keith nodded, hauling himself to his feet. "You're looking for Voltron, right?"

Shiro's brows furrowed. "I think so. It's all kind of a blur. All I know is that we can't let the Empire get their hands on it."

"Well," Keith began, "-you're in luck. I know where it is."

* * *

"...does anyone hear anything?"

Keith froze, silently swearing. Slowly turning on his heel, he stared behind him. Part of him kind of hoped he'd heard wrong- the rest of him knew that his hearing was way too good for that.

"I hear water." Hunk said. "Is that what you're hearing?"

Yes, please. Let it be water. Anything but the-

"No it's something- something else." Lance's brows knit together, like he was trying to pinpoint just what it was he was hearing. "I can't- I can't really explain it."

He could have groaned. He did, actually, just so quietly that nobody heard it but Pidge, who was standing right next to him. She cast him a curious look, but he ignored it.

Lance. It was _Lance_. The blue paladin was _Lance_. The one the blue lion had been dutifully waiting for, for ten thousand years. Lance, the guy who according to all of Pidge's stories, had never met a simulator he _hadn't_ crashed.

For four long years, it had been just him and the blue lion. And now he had to hand that connection over to someone who even after being informed that he wasn't an alien, kept insisting that he was? He swore the cosmos had to be playing some kind of joke on him.

(Or maybe Lance wasn't actually as bad as he thought. _Maybe_.)

Well. At least he knew his theory was probably right. It was no coincidence that five of them had gathered here. If they weren't meant to be paladins, then why would they all be here? _Something_ had guided them all together.

That something had to be Voltron.

* * *

Pidge's stories turned out to not be exaggerations.

If anything, he felt that she was being too generous in her description of Lance's... _skills_ as a pilot. There had been multiple occasions in which he thought he was going to die, and absolutely none of them had anything to do with the whole _Galra cruiser_ that had come out of hyperspace nearly right on top of them.

At least they had managed to lure it away from Earth- but now they were out in deep space, with no idea where they were, with nothing but the blue lion to guide them.

And he couldn't hear her anymore.

When her barrier had gone down, he had felt her brush against his mind one last time- calm and reassuring as always. And then just _nothing_.

But he'd always known this day would come. Besides, it wasn't like she was _dead_ \- he just couldn't hear her anymore. That was all.

(It still felt like a loss anyways.)

At least thanks to the blue lion's stories, he had some idea of where they were- once they touched down, that was. He still had no idea what planet they were on, or even how far they were away from Earth. They had gone through some sort of wormhole to get here, which he had his suspicions about, but it wasn't until he saw the Altean Castle that he realized just where they were.

And _who_ they would find here.

In hindsight, he really should have expected a hostile greeting. In his defense, he was in space- _deep_ space, far beyond Earth's solar system. Never in his wildest dreams had he ever imagined getting this far- just a mere hour ago, the farthest he had ever gone was the house up in the mountains, and even that had seemed unspeakably far to him.

This? This just blew his mind.

So... yeah. He'd let his guard down.

Princess Allura of Altea. The daughter of King Alfor, who had built the Voltron lions- and had once flown the red lion. He could feel the stone lion he'd carved for himself burning a hole in his belt pouch, wondering what she would think about the fact that it had been _his_ lion that had called him here.

She definitely wasn't happy to see him, he knew that much.

But he didn't care how she felt about him. She could hate him for all that he cared. All he wanted was one thing- to strike back against the Galra Empire.

They might be his kind, but he was _not_ one of them. They had taken his family from him. Pidge's family. Killed the blue lion's original paladin. Taken Shiro's arm.

He couldn't forgive them. Now he actually had the chance to fight back against them. If he could become a paladin, then...

"The red lion-"

At Allura's words, Keith glanced up. He had been trying to make himself as unobtrusive as possible, ever since she had lead them all to the bridge. Shiro and Pidge flanked either side of him, as if they were trying to protect him- but he doubted that the princess would attack him again. He didn't know if she believed him, exactly- but she'd at least deemed him as not being a threat, at least for the moment.

He'd take what he could get.

Hell, he couldn't even blame her. He knew what Zarkon had done to Altea. He'd even _seen_ pieces of it, from the blue lion. Not much- but enough. He couldn't exactly blame her for hating the race that had brutally massacred her entire race. Especially not since to her, that had all happened just yesterday.

"-is temperamental, and the most difficult to master." Allura continued, cupping her hands around the holographic image of the red lion, untold sorrow reflected in her eyes. "It's faster and more agile than the others, but also more unstable."

"Unfortunately," Allura began- and for just a second, she locked eyes with him, before looking away, "-I cannot locate it. And even if I could, there is no one here fit to pilot it."

No one fit.

No one _fit_.

It was a bold faced lie, and he knew it. The blue lion had told him that _he_ was the red lion's paladin- maybe not directly, but she had. He didn't think she was lying to him.

But no one else knew that- and somehow, he didn't think the princess would be all that happy to find out that he'd been communicating with the blue lion, even though he wasn't its paladin. So instead he forced himself not react, desperately trying to keep his own emotions in check. He wanted the princess to at least _tolerate_ his presence here, so he couldn't afford to make a scene.

"Princess-"

"The Galra have the red lion." Keith cut Shiro off. He was tempted to look in his direction, a bit curious as to what it was that he was going to say, but he fought the urge. "Or at least, they did around twenty-something Earth years ago."

Allura's eyes narrowed, watching him like a hawk. "And how do you know this?"

"My mom told my dad." Keith shrugged. "All I know is that it's on a ship, or at least, it was. I just don't know where."

Allura held his gaze for a second longer, before she looked away. "Well, it's a start."

He felt Shiro look at him, but he didn't return it. Eventually, Shiro pulled his gaze away, looking back up at the princess. "If the Galra have the red lion, it's not going to be easy to get back. What's the plan?"

"We should concentrate on getting the lions that we can for now." Allura stated. "Hunk, Pidge- the two of you must find and bond with your lions. Fortunately, those coordinates we _do_ have."

"Then it's settled." Shiro said. "Lance, you take Hunk and pick up the yellow lion. Katie, you and Keith go get that green lion."

He half expected Allura to protest, but she didn't. She just set her lips in a hard line, momentarily glaring at him, before she turned sharply on her heel. "Coran, prepare a pod."

A pod? Like a _ship_? Keith blinked, looking over towards Shiro. He'd never flown an actual _ship_ before! Just the simulator, and even then, only sometimes!

As if sensing the source of his nerves, Shiro rested a hand on his shoulder, smiling fondly down at him. "You'll be fine. Just give yourself plenty of time to get familiar with the controls before you launch."

Keith frowned, looking up at him. "Are you sure you can't come?"

Shiro shook his head. "Someone has to stay behind in case we find the red lion. Not to mention there's that Galra cruiser that's headed our way."

Keith grimaced. He hadn't forgotten. That was why they had to hurry and find the rest of the lions in the first place.

"Maybe I should-"

Shiro cut him off, and for a split second, he swore his gaze drifted towards Allura. "You go with Katie. I know how well the two of you work together."

Keith blinked, his own gaze darting over towards Allura. She was watching them with narrowed eyes, but turned away when he looked. Maybe Shiro wanted to talk to her alone.

Or maybe Shiro just didn't want to leave him alone with her.

It was touching. He didn't think Allura would actually _do_ anything to him, except maybe glare at him, and that he could more than deal with. He wouldn't even be _alone_ with her- Coran was here too, and he seemed alright. Willing to hear them out, at least.

Still, he was glad that he was thinking of him. Even after all this time, even after everything he had been through at the hands of the Galra- he was still thinking about him. So he forced himself to smile, trying to look at least a little confident. "I won't let you down."

"I know you won't, buddy." Shiro grinned, releasing his grip on his shoulder.

"Come on," Pidge grinned, linking her arm with his, seemingly brimming with confidence, "-let's go find me a lion."

* * *

Pidge's confidence lasted until they actually got there.

He'd been ready for all possible scenarios, but hitching a ride down a river with some kind of giant alien sloth creature? That hadn't been one of them.

At least Coran was right when he had said that this planet was peaceful. He'd never _seen_ so much green in his entire life- even the lake house paled in comparison. And did he mention the river? Because there was a _river_.

"Geez, Keith," Pidge quipped, "-look at little more excited, will you?"

Flushing a deep purple, Keith shot her a glare- before he blinked, noticing the way she was fidgeting. She definitely hadn't been doing that when they first got on the canoe. "Everything okay?"

"It's just... what if I'm not cut out for this?" Pidge asked. "I mean... flying a lion? I'm not even a _pilot_!"

"Neither is Hunk." Keith pointed out. "Or _me_ , for that matter."

Flying the Altean shuttle pod had made his own lack of experience explicitly clear. He'd been fine on takeoff, and had been fine actually flying it. _Landing_ , on the other hand? That was where things had become a little more difficult. The pod definitely had a few scratches on it that hadn't been there before. Hopefully Coran wouldn't be too pissed.

Guess just because he could ace the simulators didn't automatically mean he'd be any good at flying the real thing. Especially not when that real thing was _alien_.

Being this far out in space had proved both exciting and _weird_ thus far. He was used to being the alien, even though he'd actually been born on Earth and had never so much as left it before. Now he was surrounded by _actual_ aliens, and had now been to a total of two alien planets. Allura's treatment aside, he'd never felt more _human_ in his life.

"Besides, I know you've read dozens of flight manuals, Pidge." Keith added. "Mostly because you read them _with_ me."

As far as he was concerned, if he could (mostly) manage it, then so could Pidge.

"Well, yeah, sure." Pidge said. "But at least you have your hoverbike. I've got _nothing_! I can't even drive a car! And even if I could, my legs aren't long enough to reach the pedals! What if there are pedals in the lion, Keith? What if there are pedals, and I can't reach them?"

"Allura wouldn't have chosen you as the green paladin if you couldn't do it." Keith told her, ignoring the sting of his own words.

He was so sure that he was meant to be the red paladin, but part of him couldn't help but wonder if maybe Allura was right. Maybe he _was_ just extra baggage.

Pidge just snorted. "The first thing Allura did was _attack_ you. Call me crazy, but I don't exactly have a lot of faith in her choices."

"Well... yeah." Keith frowned. "But she had good reason. Having a Galra be the first thing she saw after getting out of that pod probably _wasn't_ the best idea."

"Good reason or not, you're my brother and I don't like seeing you get hurt." Pidge huffed, folding her arms in front of her. "If she tries that again-"

"She won't." Keith cut her off. He appreciated it, but he didn't really want to talk about it right this second. "Look... I'm sure you'll be fine, Pidge. I mean, even Lance was able to fly the blue lion, right? It can't be _that_ hard."

Pidge blinked, before letting out an abrupt laugh. "Okay, you have a point."

"See?" Keith grinned. "Besides, nobody is more inquisitive than you."

"Also fair." Pidge said, before frowning, tilting her head slightly as she looked at him in consideration. "But what about you? I mean... is it just me, or was Allura lying when she said there was no paladin for the red lion?"

Keith flinched, and then instantly regretted it. That was more than enough for Pidge to know exactly what was going on. Curse her intuition.

Narrowing her eyes, Pidge scowled. "Unbelievable. She was, wasn't she? You're the-"

"Look," Keith cut her off, "-can we just not discuss this?"

"Oh no, we're discussing this." Pidge said. "There's no way this is fair. Just because you're part Galra, she's treating you like-"

"-like I'm part of the race that enacted mass genocide on her people?" Keith finished, and Pidge, as angry as she had been a second ago, couldn't help but wince when he put it that bluntly. "I don't like it, yeah, but... she kind of has the right to distrust me."

If anything, Allura's reaction to him was basically what he had been expecting all along. It was how Pidge and Colleen _should_ have reacted when they found out it was the Galra who had taken Sam and Matt. It was how Shiro _should_ have reacted when he saw him for the first time after spending a year in captivity.

It didn't make Allura some horrible person. It just made her _normal_.

"It's still not fair." Pidge muttered.

"No," Keith admitted, "-it's really not."

But if there was anyone to blame for it, it _wasn't_ the Altean princess. It was the Galra- the Galra, and _Zarkon_ , who started all of this.

"Besides," Keith added, "-if the lions work like I think they do, then it doesn't matter _what_ Allura says."

Pidge looked up at him, arching a brow. "You'd know, wouldn't you?"

Keith winced, picking up on the mild irritation in her tone. He'd kind of expected it, but... "Are you mad at me for keeping the blue lion a secret?"

"You only kept the _coolest possible alien spaceship in existence_ a secret from me. Me, you know- your best friend. Your sister?" Pidge said flatly. "But no. I'm not mad."

Keith ducked his head, feeling sheepish. He'd had good reason for it, sure but honestly? Pidge's anger was _way_ scarier than Allura's.

"I'm... sorry?" Keith managed.

"Oh, you'd better be." Pidge said. "Because when we get back to Earth, I'm telling mom."

For some reason, Keith felt himself sweating. That shouldn't be an actual threat- Colleen had no real power over him. She wasn't his _actual_ mom. And yet...

"Any chance you could maybe... not do that?" Keith asked.

"No secrets between Holts, Keith." Pidge said. "No secrets between Holts."

* * *

"Good, you're back. I assume you were able to locate the green lion?"

"I sure hope so, otherwise I don't know what it is that I just landed in the Castle." Pidge joked, glancing around the bridge. "Where are Hunk and Lance? Shouldn't they be back by now?"

"Sounds like they ran into some trouble retrieving the yellow lion." Shiro said. "But they should be back soon."

Keith hummed, moving to stand by Shiro. He glanced down at him, pausing to lightly ruffle his hair over his objections, before he turned back towards Allura. "More importantly, Allura's been able to locate the red lion."

Keith blinked, looking over towards Allura. "She has?"

"Yes." Allura frowned, her gaze momentarily lingering on him. "Just as you said, it's located on a Galra battlecruiser."

"Specifically, the one that's headed here right now!" Coran supplied. "Saves us the trouble of having to look for it, I suppose."

"Getting the red lion back from the Galra won't be easy." Shiro said. "Once Lance and Hunk come back from getting the yellow lion, we'll need to come up with a plan."

Folding his arms in front of him, Keith frowned. If what Allura said was true, then without all four of the scattered lions, they wouldn't be able to awaken the black lion. And without the black lion, there would be no Voltron.

Not that any of that mattered, he guessed, so long as the red lion didn't have a paladin. He knew he said that it would work out regardless of what Allura said, but he was pretty sure that the fastest way to get the red lion off the Galra cruiser was to have its paladin fly it out. And since he was pretty sure that was _him_...

...yeah, there was no way Allura was going to let him go onboard a Galra cruiser.

"Princess?" Shiro spoke up. "Don't you have something to say to Keith?"

Blinking, Keith looked up towards Allura. Her gaze was fixed on him, her lips set in a tight line. Maybe Shiro really _had_ talked to her for his sake. Leave it to him to notice. Peeking up towards him, the newly appointed black paladin flashed him an understanding smile.

"I... suppose." Allura reluctantly admitted. "It has come to my attention that my earlier assessment was... incorrect. There is, in fact, a paladin for the red lion."

He tried not to look too eager, shifting on his feet. "Who?"

"You." Allura said, with no small degree of resignation. "Though why it chose a _Galra_ , I have no idea. Our _last_ Galra paladin-"

Keith narrowed his eyes. He'd accept her not trusting him because he was Galra, but he wouldn't take a comparison to Zarkon lying down. "I'm no Zarkon."

Allura flinched, and for a second, he couldn't figure out why. It was only when Shiro spoke that he managed to put two and two together.

"Zarkon used to be a paladin?" Shiro asked.

Oh. Right. They had no idea.

Allura heaved a long sigh, her shoulders slumping. It was obvious that this was something she had a difficult time talking about. "It is a long story, but yes."

A hushed silence fell over the bridge, and it was all Keith could do to duck his head. He hadn't meant to make things tense. It was obviously a sore subject for Allura- even after ten thousand years, it had still been a sore subject for the blue lion. And he'd just blurted it right out.

Smooth, Keith. _Real_ smooth.

"So... which lion did he use to fly?" Pidge finally asked.

"He-"

"Princess!" Coran cut her off. "It looks like Lance and Hunk are on their way back. They found the yellow lion!"

"Wonderful!" Allura almost instantly brightened, and Keith sensed that the subject of Zarkon would once again be buried- at least for now.

* * *

Right now, Keith was wishing he actually knew a little bit more about the Galra.

Specifically, he wished he knew the layout of their battlecruisers. After taking a wrong turn and ending up right back where he started for what felt like the fifth time, he groaned, his patience- and his focus- starting to wear thin.

He thought finding the red lion would be easy. Shiro and Pidge would be with him. But not only had Shiro and Pidge gone off on their own little mission- not that he could begrudge them that since this was apparently the same ship Shiro had been taken to after being captured, so there was a good chance she might be able to find clues about her family here- but now he was hopelessly lost.

This place was just so _big_. He wasn't used to _big_.

Sure, the desert was mostly just one big wide open space, but that was different. This was a spaceship. The only thing he had to compare the experience to was being inside a building, and the only building he'd been in that was anywhere near this big was Shiro's apartment building- and even then, he'd had guidance!

What he would give for some of that right now.

Maybe... maybe Allura was right. Maybe he wasn't meant to be the red lion's paladin after all.

No. Shaking the thought off, Keith drew in a long breath. She wouldn't have given him the red paladin's armor and bayard if she didn't know in her heart that it was true. It wasn't the _exact_ same armor that King Alfor had once worn- there were differences between it and the armor he had seen in the blue lion's memories.

But the bayard? The bayard had been his, once.

Right now, everyone was counting on him. Probably even Allura, if only begrudgingly. He couldn't let them down.

Closing his eyes, he slowly let out his held breath. As he did, he felt his shoulders relax, his muscles become less tense. It was cold on the ship, so it was a bit hard for him to find his center and _focus_. It wasn't as bad as the mountains in winter, but... he would have thought it would be _warmer_. He guessed not every Galra was bred for extreme heat like he was.

The Castle was warm, though.

That thought served almost as a spark- though at first, he thought he was imagining the warmth that brushed up against his back. The second he realized it was real, he turned sharply on his heel, trying to figure out what the source of it was- only to find nothing there. Blinking, Keith stared down the hall, before he slowly turned back around-

-and came face to face with a red lioness.

She was smaller than the blue lion, and her form was less solid. She watched him with yellow eyes, her gaze so intense, that it seemed as if she was looking _through_ him rather than at him. He couldn't help but stand a little straighter, as if she were assessing him for flaws.

 _Blue's ward._

The voice rang loud and clear in his head. Swallowing, Keith took half a step forward, slightly in awe.

"You're the red lion." Keith breathed.

 _If it is me you seek, then come. Follow._

Without waiting for him, the red lion turned, heading down the hall. He hesitated, but quickly went after her, trying to keep his guard up as much as he could. Bayard or no bayard, he'd rather avoid being ambushed.

Thankfully, he was able to avoid any of the sentries that he ran into. None of them even seemed to notice the red lion- some of them walked right through her, her form shimmering and flickering every time they did so- but never disappearing. She lead him all the way to a hangar, before she cast one last look in his direction, and vanished.

The red lion was in there.

Swallowing, Keith pressed his hand against the access panel. His dad had told him with a laugh once that all Galra tech was biolocked- which made it super easy for his mom and her allies to sneak on their ships and cause chaos. Sure enough, even though he was only half Galra, the doors opened right up for him.

Inside, still protected by her particle barrier, was the red lion.

Slowly stepping forward, Keith took a second to just stare up at her in awe. She was smaller than the blue lion, but was no less impressive. There was something about her that just seemed to _call_ to him.

He made his way towards her, hovering just inches in front of her barrier. Slowly, he raised his hand, carefully pressing it up against the barrier, just as he had done with Blue's countless times.

Only this time, it let him in.

In turn, he let the red lion in.

It flooded him all at once- thoughts, feelings, ten thousand years of pent up anger and frustration, and _loss_ \- loss that ran so deep, that it nearly knocked him off his feet. King Alfor had built her, King Alfor had flown her... King Alfor had made the decision to send her away, and then had never come back for her.

Zarkon found her instead.

Zarkon invoked anger, rage, _hatred_ \- and betrayal, betrayal that ran deeper than anything he could have ever imagined. King Alfor had trusted him, the black lion had trusted him, so _she_ had trusted him.

And the red lion's trust was difficult to earn.

The red lion was furious and in pain- and had been held captive by the Galra, the very race that had caused her so much suffering for decades. They used her to try and find her siblings. Had tried to force her to accept paladins that she didn't want. It was with a shudder that he sensed that, and for a second, he expected that she would shut him out, reject him- after ten thousand years of waiting for someone to come along to fill King Alfor's role, what she got was a half Galra child who barely even knew how to fly.

She didn't.

 _Blue's ward_ , the red lion purred, as she lowered herself, _she has told me much about you_. _You are for me, she said. Having seen you now for myself, I know it is true._

Keith swallowed, taking a slow step forward, and then another. With each step, he grew more confident, until he had arrived in the cockpit.

It was warm there, just like the desert. He took a moment to just savor the feeling, before the red lion nudged at him, eager to throw herself into battle and avenge her paladin before him. Exhaling, Keith made his way to the pilot's seat, hands brushing over the controls before he took a seat.

They were both lions of Voltron- but the red lion was so _different_ from the blue lion. There had always been a distance between him and the blue lion, one that could never be gapped- he was not her paladin, just her ward. But with the red lion?

It was almost like she had always been there.

He would still miss his connection to the blue lion- but she had her own paladin now. He didn't think she would begrudge him in connecting with a new lion.

She had probably always known that this would happen.

"Good kitty," Keith mumbled, carefully resting his hands on the controls, "-let's roll."


End file.
